tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60033294829954144122024-02-18T21:32:54.580-05:00The Christian RationalistSam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-46794926667643051992015-06-28T19:28:00.000-04:002015-06-28T19:28:53.715-04:00Gays Should Be Allowed to Marry<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For anyone reading this far enough into the future, the National Conversation is currently focused on the Supreme Court's decision on Friday making gay marriage legal in all 50 states, which seems to be an appropriate time to share my view on the matter. For what it's worth, I've believed essentially the same thing since some time in college, so at least three years, but since I only started posting regularly on this blog a few months ago, I hadn't gotten the chance to write it out in detail until now.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Christians, or at least the ones I've met, care a lot about their marriages. Christians frequently listen to sermons about marriage, read books about marriage, go through serious pre-marital counseling, talk about their marriages with others, and if they are single, place a lot of hope on their future marriages. One term frequently used is "covenant": We believe that analogous to how God makes binding promises, or covenants, to his people, the husband and wife in a Christian covenant marriage make binding lifelong promises to each other.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Of course, this is all very good. The most inspiring marriages that I've gotten a chance to see have been between two committed Christians. This suggests (but by no means proves) that there is indeed something sacred or special about Christian covenant marriage.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And yet, I don't think any of this is relevant to the question of what unions the United States of America should recognize as marriage.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This should go without saying, but the US does not consist solely of Christians. There is no requirement that someone be a Christian to live here, or to become a citizen, and our laws rightly do not interpret everyone here to be a Christian. To the contrary, they explicitly grant religious liberty to choose one's religion.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Within a pluralistic society like this, a collection of distinct, overlapping communities, we sometimes use the same words to mean different things. Marriage, to a Christian, often means what I described above: a binding lifelong exclusive heterosexual union with an analogy to God's promises to man, and often specifically to Jesus's relationship to Christians as a whole. But others also use the word as well. To some, Christian or not, children are a big emphasis. To others, personal fulfillment and improvement. To some, it may not be sexually exclusive. To others, it may not be heterosexual.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In fact, I might go even further to say that every marriage is pretty unique. I've had the privilege of attending three weddings of friends over the past month and a half, and each couple definitely tailored the ceremony and reception to their own vision of what marriage is about. Is it worthy hard work, or mainly a good time? Is it a joining of individuals, or families? Traditional or progressive? Complementarian or egalitarian? Many of these questions impact the marriage just as much as they do the ceremony.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Given this diversity, I see very little reason to remind someone that their union that they wish to call marriage is not a covenant marriage like the ones Christians have and strive for. In fact, that would be rather annoying. They know they aren't Christians, and they're not trying to pretend to be. Why bother?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"But they're misusing our word!" some might object. Since when is marriage a Christian word? Every culture has featured something like it, and it would be rather pedantic to rewrite most accounts to only consider Christian marriages to be marriages. The Bible doesn't even do this: as just one example, the character of Pontius Pilate, definitely not a Christian, is recorded as having a wife (<a href="http://www.esvbible.org/Matthew+27:19/">Matthew 27:19</a>). Matthew doesn't bother to use a different word for her (γυνή) there than Paul uses when referring to Christian wives, e.g. in Ephesians 5. Every culture has wanted to call some things marriages that didn't match the Christian ideal.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"But non-Christian heterosexual marriages are also holy in a way that homosexual marriages aren't!" This seems rather hard to believe for me. What way is that? "Because they can have children together!" Well, what about barren couples, old couples, or couples who suffer an injury affecting childbearing? "Because if they become Christians, they could stay married!" At the same time, not everyone will become a Christian. Yes, we believe that every knee will eventually bow, but at that point, there won't be marriage anyways (<a href="http://www.esvbible.org/Mark+12:25/">Mark 12:25</a>). And if a couple does become Christian, many churches already encourage them to reaffirm their vows to each other in light of their new faith. I see no reason why this should not be standard.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"But homosexual sex is sinful!" So is adultery, but we're not about to make it illegal. And so are greed, malice, lust, gluttony, drunkenness, and idolatry, but we're not about to make the stock market, internet forums, porn sites, buffets, bars, and celebrity-focused media illegal even though they are institutions that encourage such things. Everyone already knows and agrees that sin is a broader definition than crime, that Christians are called to walk a narrower line than simply following the law.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"But children will be raised to believe that gay marriage is completely normal!" Are you saying you were hoping they'd learn good theology through public schooling? That you, as their parent, will say nothing about the sanctity of Christian covenant marriage? That there was nothing already in conflict between Christianity and the American dream?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"But gay marriage will inevitably lead to conflicts with religious liberty! What if a baker or florist doesn't want their cakes or flowers to play a role in a gay wedding?" All of these conflicts already existed. What if they didn't want to serve at a Muslim or Mormon wedding, or even just any wedding that isn't explicitly Christian? It's really rather odd to single out gay weddings and draw the line there. I suppose that people might have a right to draw strange lines like that, but those rights will be sorted out over time as the dust settles.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Behind many of these arguments is an unstated cultural norm that America is a Christian nation and we can assume that everyone is basically a Christian until they do something as obvious as marry someone of the same gender. This is the flash point, not any of the other sins I listed, simply because a gay marriage ceremony is so obviously not Christian, while other sins are either more in the shadows or more slippery.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is why we see eulogies at funerals talk about the dead going to a better place whether or not they professed any belief. It's why we have debates about a war on Christmas, as if we somehow believe that everyone should celebrate the holiday like Christians do, the true "reason for the season." Gay marriage is just one of the most obvious symptoms of the death of a universal nominal civic religion in this country.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So what should the state recognize as "marriage"? I don't think there's an obvious answer. We have a bunch of instances of relationships that might fit, and it's a question of which examples are similar enough to other examples. Ultimately, it'll come down to what that label will be used for.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Taxes are pretty easy to understand: From an economic perspective today, there is very little difference between homosexual and heterosexual marriages, so they should be taxed the same. (Well, there is probably a gender pay gap. But this would suggest a somewhat complicated fix of taxing gay couples more but lesbian couples less... but the exact amounts would be rather complicated to calculate.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Children are a little bit more complicated. There is naturally very little data on long-term effects of children raised by homosexual couples, so we can't answer what the average effect is yet. Fortunately, it doesn't matter. Does every heterosexual couple raises kids better than every homosexual couple? Hardly. Even restricted to those seeking to adopt, I wouldn't expect that to be even close to true.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I had a happy childhood, and I'm thankful to both of my parents for how they raised me. I can see positive effects from having both a father (e.g. to coach my soccer teams) and a mother (e.g. to help me to deal with social situations). It's hard for me to imagine how it would have been different if either of them had been the opposite gender, because it would have affected so much.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Childhood consists of many important moments, some of which are potentially easier for a biological father and a mother to handle. But those are just a small component of 18 years of parenting, and by no means should be a dealbreaker for a loving homosexual couple seeking to adopt. And of course, this is all armchair theorizing; it is incredibly unfair not to give them the chance to prove themselves.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">While I'm reminiscing about my childhood, I also think of the single mother in our neighborhood who has been one of my mom's closest friends for the last nearly 20 years. She <a href="https://adventureswitherikaandgod.wordpress.com/2015/06/28/you-saved-me/">chose to adopt three girls</a> and raised them by herself to adulthood, and pretty adeptly as far as I've been able to tell. (Honestly, read that blog post I linked; I had already written a draft of this paragraph when Erika posted it on Facebook. Quite the <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/06/was-this-miracle.html">coincidence</a>...)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So that's who I think of when people say that kids always need a mother and a father. Should she not have been allowed to adopt?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But when you talk to gay couples, this isn't about the tax benefits and the opportunity to adopt children. The right to marry is just a big deal in itself to them. Without it, they've felt under direct attack, oppressed, that homophobic bigots run the country.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That's why the decision to recognize gay marriage should have been one of the easiest decisions to make. Hypothetical concerns about a word or if they become Christians or homosexual parenting being inferior fall far short of the importance of the right to marry to many gays and lesbians. Who are we to say that these small potential concerns of ours outweigh their freedom?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It even goes beyond that, though. By staking a claim in the opposing side, Christians <a href="https://www.barna.org/barna-update/teens-nextgen/94-a-new-generation-expresses-its-skepticism-and-frustration-with-christianity#.VZBOfflViko">have done more damage to our reputation</a> than almost anything else. We've literally told gay people across the country, "No, your intense desire to get married means nothing to us." They've felt, and others have observed, the sting of those words. And they want nothing to do with us.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So I'd challenge every Christian who has stood in opposition to gay rights: Do you really believe the hypothetical concerns you've brought up outweigh their desire to free themselves from oppression? Is every non-Christian homosexual couple seeking marriage less worthy of governmental recognition of their vows than every non-Christian heterosexual couple seeking it?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Well, this is convenient timing for me to say something like this, isn't it? Right when it no longer matters what anyone in this country believes anymore. As much as some Republicans might want to try to write a constitutional amendment to overrule the Supreme Court, that's a Hail Mary that no one's running deep to catch.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">All I can say to my friends who supported gay marriage before me is, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not speaking up sooner in a context like this. I've been pretty open with these views in Christian small groups I've been part of, and with close friends, and I wouldn't say I was "closeted" about this in any way. You'll pretty much have to take my word that I wasn't afraid to speak up, but only now have the context to write out my thoughts completely like this. My only hope is that you'll read this as better late than never.</span>Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-21143589824724249772015-06-20T11:56:00.000-04:002015-06-28T15:36:32.566-04:00Was this a miracle?<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'd like to share a story with you from my life this week. Yes, as the title suggests, there were a couple moments that seemed a bit miraculous, in both senses of the word. But you'll have to hold tight, because the context matters and I also want you to get a glimpse into my life through the story.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In the Graduate Christian Fellowship, I lead the team that runs the Friday night large group sessions. Pretty much every week during the year, this involves either a talk or a social activity, so this is a <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/05/what-ive-learned-from-time-auditing.html">big part of my life</a>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The planning team meets together monthly, and as we were first brainstorming what to do this summer, the idea came to my mind to watch a movie together and discuss it afterwards. After the meeting, I revisited a website that I had discovered back in college, </span><span style="color: #0000ee; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u><a href="http://cinemagogue.com/">cinemagogue.com</a></u></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">. There, pastor James Harleman writes and speaks about movies from a refreshing Christian perspective that isn't just how many swear words there are and how all of the characters behave in unholy ways. I remembered being floored by his takes on some of my favorite movies like <i>The Prestige</i> and <i>The Dark Knight</i>, and went back to revisit some of those.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In the process, I found that he'd written a book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0988482509/ref=cm_sw_su_dp">Cinemagogue: Reclaiming Entertainment and Navigating Narrative for the Myths and Mirrors they were Meant to Be</a>. I bought a copy, and read the entire thing in one sitting on a cross-country flight. It's that good.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Inspired, I fleshed out the idea of a summer movie and discussion series with my large group team, and they were on board. This is probably the first time in a couple years that I've had this level of inspiration for large groups. I started to plan which movies to watch and organize the team.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Last Friday, we had our traditional summer kickoff barbecue, where I announced the series and showed the trailers for a couple movies that I thought would be good fits: <i>Groundhog Day</i> and <i>The Princess Bride</i>. After giving it some thought, I decided to watch <i>Groundhog Day</i> the first week, and was debating whether to simply decide to watch <i>The Princess Bride</i> the second or give the group some options. (I know I sometimes delve into rabbit holes of detail, but this matters. Hold tight and you'll see why.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At that gathering, though, some of the older graduate students warned me about something I should have seen coming all along: copyright law. After some brief website browsing, we found that yes, we do need a license to show the movie, even though we aren't charging admission and the movies are over 20 years old.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So on Monday, I started contacting people. I asked a friend in MIT student government, who suggested I ask the librarians. One of them gave the most interesting response, enthusiastically recommending a handful of environmental films that the libraries owned the rights to. No, we didn't just want to watch any film, I explained, and another librarian confirmed that we would be violating copyright law if we showed these movies to our group without a license.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Student Activities Office was a little more helpful, telling me to contact Swank Motion Pictures for <i>Groundhog Day</i> in particular for a license. Once I finally got to talk to a representative from Swank on the phone, though, she quoted me a price of $275 for a one-time showing of a movie to 20-50 people.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I brought all of this information back to the fellowship leaders, and we all agreed that we wouldn't want to make people pay and didn't really have the funds for that. Our chaplain, Kevin, told us that he thought our sponsoring organization, Intervarsity, might be already have a license covering us, and he'd look into that, but we hadn't heard anything yet.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On Wednesday, I went to my small group bible study, and during the prayer time, I shared this saga and asked for prayer. After getting back, I was browsing Facebook and at 11:04pm came across <a href="http://www.thrillist.com/events/boston/boston-outdoor-movie-calendar-2015-free-summer-film-screenings">a list</a> of outdoor movie screenings in Boston this summer. I decided to take a look.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I scrolled down to see that the next movie they were showing was, well, <i>Groundhog Day</i>. And they were showing it on Friday, June 19th at the Boston Harbor Hotel. It turns out that the hotel is showing classic movies every Friday, and they've got <a href="http://www.bhh.com/d/bhhresponsive/media/PDF/dining/Schedule2015.pdf">a list</a> here.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Any guess what movie they're showing next week, June 26th? Of course, <i>The Princess Bride</i>. I was shocked.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'd like to jump in a little bit here and talk a little bit about what I think of miracles. In <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2014/06/the-apologetic-value-of-modern-day.html">a previous post</a>, I laid out why modern-day miracles are important to the claims of Christianity. But this is probably the first opportunity I've had to observe a potential miracle first-hand.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Naturally, the first question I tend to ask is, "How much evidence do we have to detect God's presence?" In the end, this comes down to having a more accurate view of the world. A religious explanation for a miracle needs to have some predictive power, as objectively as we can evaluate that in hindsight.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, let's assume that you're in my position Wednesday evening at, say, 10:52pm. How unlikely is it that...</span><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There would be public movie screenings somewhere in Boston over the summer.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Some of those movies would be shown on Friday evenings.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Those Friday movies would be "classics".</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Groundhog Day</i> and <i>The Princess Bride</i> would be included among the classic movies shown this year.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Groundhog Day</i> would be shown on June 19th, and <i>The Princess Bride</i> on June 26th, exactly as we had planned.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thrillist would decide to publish a list of all outdoor movie screenings in Boston </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">during that 2-day span while we were looking for alternatives to paying Swank $275 to watch our movie.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">While browsing Facebook, I would come across this list.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I would do so less than an hour after sharing this very situation as a prayer request and praying about it among other things together.</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Of course, some (1, 2, 7) are pretty likely, and some (3, 4, 6) are harder to compute. As a simple upper bound to the probability, though, we can use 5 too see that there are 13 movies being shown at the Boston Harbor Hotel this summer, so not seeing any natural ordering, the probability that these movies would fall on these particular weeks is something like 1/(13*12), or less than 1%.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Depending on your estimates for the rest of these circumstances, you probably would rate this as 4-8 orders of magnitude unlikely, i.e. a "one in ten thousand" to "one in a hundred million" chance. Then we can ask: Are there similar circumstances that would seem just as remarkable in this case? And sure, if someone else had come across this list, or if I had searched it out myself, that would seem a little bit less surprising, but maybe remarkable enough. Let's say that we lose a factor of 2-3 from these possibilities.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And then we can ask, how many chances has God had to act like this before? As a Christian, how likely should I have rated this to happen? Well, a quick estimate says that I've been a Christian for close to 10 years and shared prayer requests a bit less frequently than weekly over that time. Based on how I felt at small group, I'd estimate this as a top 5-10% urgent prayer request, so there have been maybe 20-40 such potential chances before.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In conclusion, this experience leads me to update my odds of a God who interacts with me existing by around 2-6 orders of magnitude.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was sitting across from Grace when I found the list, and I immediately showed it to her. She was also shocked: "Wow." I quickly moved into logistical mode, asking Google maps how long it would take to get to the hotel, estimating the time of dusk from when sunset would be before calling to find out if there would be a place nearby we could hold our discussion. With the previous plans we had made, it seemed plausible. I sent an e-mail to the other GCF leaders who had been getting the updates about the license with these ideas.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The next day, though, Kevin was able to secure a much cheaper Christian Video License through Intervarsity -- $75 for three months of coverage. The leadership agreed that this was a worthwhile purchase, and Kevin filled it out that day. The Swank folks were persistent, but after talking on the phone with CVL, I confirmed that yes, their license did cover these movie screenings.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So in the end, we didn't end up utilizing the option miraculously presented before us. One of my fellow leaders encouraged me with the situation in <a href="http://www.esvbible.org/1+Samuel+24/">1 Samuel 24:1-7</a>. While that decision was based more on morals, he pointed out that God might bless us with unlikely fortune without intending for us to simply seize that opportunity.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Quite honestly, I wasn't bummed. We had eventually gotten what we'd wanted, and in the moment when we were most in need, the hotel option gave us a backup plan that wouldn't involve either breaking the law or cancelling the series. I interpreted it simply as a gentle confirmation that God wanted us to do this movie series.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So our first movie night came, last night. After grilling the leftover burgers and hot dogs from the previous week, we watched <i>Groundhog Day</i> and listened to Pastor Harleman's <a href="http://cinemagogue.com/2012/02/09/its-groundhog-day-again-again/">sermon</a> on it. Even though this was my second time watching the movie and third time listening to the sermon, I was convicted by one of the messages he brought out. What if we behaved as if everyone around us was more important than us? What if we were more like Jesus in our humility?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">See, even though I do a lot for GCF and other things, I've often drifted into serving because I should, or because I think someone should do it, and I'm probably the best person for the job. What if instead I was serving out of joy for all of the people around me? What if I looked around and asked myself, "How can I be a blessing to all of the people around me?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As we walked back, I was talking with Grace and Lyndon about that very question. As we were approaching our dorm, I saw a homeless man pushing a cart in our very direction. "Well, that's kind of obvious, God," I thought as I went over to him and gave him one of the $10 McDonald's gift cards in my wallet before he could even say a word.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After I explained what it was, he was shocked. Why would I want to do something like that? I decided to keep the explanation short and simple: "I've been inspired. God bless!" He told me a variant on the Good Samaritan story, and I smiled and told him I couldn't do that much for him, but this is what I could.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Besides the improbability, the other defining characteristic of a miracle is that it fulfills a purpose of God. This is why you sometimes see Christians call every birth of a baby or salvation a miracle, because new birth and rebirth are purposes of God. Personally, I think that cheapens the word, but that isn't to say that God is only interested in showing up for the sake of showing up.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here, we get to see both. Based on my experience, I have seen homeless guys in that area before, but only (estimating) 1-5% of the time I walk there (nearly every day), so that's another 1-2 orders of magnitude of God's fingerprints. The God of the Bible is constantly telling his followers to help the poor and downtrodden, and even if this guy never makes it to McDonald's, his reaction alone shows that it made an impact.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Looking back on it all as I write this post, I see features of both God's ordinary and extraordinary action. I've emphasized the extraordinary in this post, since I don't get to see that every day. But in the background, there's still me being uplifted and convicted by a pastor's sermons in college, a month ago, and last night, and praying together as a normal part of Christian community.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What do you think?</span></div>
Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-70712681869478415342015-06-17T00:05:00.002-04:002015-06-17T00:05:37.948-04:00How Not To Lead, Part One: How Not to Delegate<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Since high school, I've found myself taking on volunteer leadership positions in pretty much everything I've been involved in. I thought I'd share some of my thoughts on leadership from those experiences from time to time. While I'm calling this post "Part One", I don't have future parts planned yet, so it's a bit of an ambitious title.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Volunteer leadership, like many things in life, tends to be a bit of a convex problem: There's a sweet spot in the middle, and there are a lot of different failure modes around the edges. Organizations vary in terms of where exactly that sweet spot is, so I don't want to focus on that side of the problem. Instead, in this series, I'll focus on the failure modes, how not to lead. Being aware of what the edges are will help you stay near the sweet spot as a leader.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(By contrast, for instance, some organizations seem to find a lot of value in the edges, by approaching problems in an unusual fashion to generate something new. Some of them can even ride roughshod over the failure modes that I mention because it's more compelling to live on that edge. If there's a large amount of competition and/or novelty in your field, this might be the case.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This lesson in particular has to do with the failure modes around delegation, allowing or assigning other people to do tasks.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Failure Mode #1: Not Delegating</span></h2>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The first failure mode, of course, is to completely fail to delegate. This can happen for a couple reasons.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maybe you believe that no one else can do the job you're doing. I've fallen into this trap a lot. In high school, I thought I was the only person who could run the math club, and basically wrested control of the club over from the teachers and parents in my sophomore year. I put a ton of effort into the club personally, but I wasn't a particularly effective teacher and we shrank considerably.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The next year, I co-founded the Colorado Math Circle with a parent from Boulder who has continued to run the group to this day. This experience went much better for a lot of reasons, one of which was the multiple minds we had to plan things on top.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I should have asked myself: If you believe you're the only one suited for the job, do you really know where your audience is at? How are you going to bring in perspectives and skills that you don't have? Where are you going to turn if things don't go according to plan?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maybe instead you think it's just too much work to find other people to help. This was my mindset when I took over leadership of the Veritas Forum at MIT in my second year of grad school. I centralized responsibility by effectively taking on 6 different leadership roles within the team that year. Naturally, the forum was basically all I did for the month before it happened.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Beyond my own time, there were also very few volunteers able to come back the next year, so we had to do a lot of recruiting, and that'll be true next year as well, especially as I step down. It wasn't a good long-term strategy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now, I'd ask: Do you feel frustrated with others not stepping up? How hard have you really tried to recruit? Are you trying to passive-aggressively make a statement by doing all of the work yourself?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Failure Mode #2: Suspicion Spirals</span></h2>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So you've realized that you need to delegate, and you've found some people to help you out. Great!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Unfortunately, there will be a lot of spillover of your emotions from the previous section. If it was hard to find people to help, you might be especially on edge if it seems like they're flaking on you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How you respond will dictate a lot of how the team functions. Machiavelli wrote that it is better to be feared than loved, but when it comes to volunteer leadership today, nothing could be farther from the truth. Introducing fear leads people too often to shut down and back away even more. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you make doing their job uncomfortable, it'll naturally make it hard for them to get themselves to do it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What's most unfortunate is that this can sometimes introduce a positive feedback loop that can escalate the smallest tardiness into someone completely dropping the ball. Even the suspicion that they might fail can make you feel anxious if someone hasn't responded to your e-mail a couple hours after you send it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Talking to a friend recently, I gave this example as a reason that being optimistic is simply healthier. If you're constantly suspicious that someone you're working with will do something bad, whether they could fail to do their job or steal your work or glory, you'll make life miserable for those you work with, and your suspicions could very well turn into self-fulfilling prophecies.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Failure Mode #3: Looking for Someone to Blame</span></h2>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Even without those compounding effects, something will inevitably go wrong, or at least not as you had planned. Those will provide another test to see how you respond.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My default is often to assume that the plan was good, but someone didn't do their job, and we need to try to find that goat to blame. In other words, I become like Darth Vader:</span><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/aV2DLkDPwM8/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/aV2DLkDPwM8?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Iwio208q3jY/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Iwio208q3jY?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Notice the reaction of the commander taking Admiral Ozzel's place in the first clip, and feel the gravity of the admiral taking responsibility in the second. It's no doubt why the Empire keeps making mistakes. (Where do these admirals come from, anyways? Why are they so willing to rise up the ranks, if they know what happens at the top?)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyways, I think I picked up some of this tendency to blame from watching sports. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Take the </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7rPIg7ZNQ8" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">fateful interception</a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> at the end of the last Super Bowl, by Malcolm Butler in the endzone. The <a href="http://grantland.com/the-triangle/super-bowl-new-england-patriots-seattle-seahawks/">conversation afterwards</a> was dominated by whose fault that play was. Was it Seahawks coach Pete Carroll's decision-making to go for a pass play rather than a running play with running back Marshawn Lynch? Quarterback Russell Wilson for the throw? Receiver Ricardo Lockette for letting Butler beat him to the spot?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Professional athletes are mostly already numb to the constant criticism -- they're celebrities, and they need to learn how to deal with it at some point in their careers. But when we take the blame-first approach to personal relationships, it can backfire badly.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One unexpected area where this often arises: playing cooperative games. In particular, I've seen this time and time again in the card game Hanabi.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/R-Games-RR-869-Hanabi/dp/B00CYQ9Q76">Hanabi</a> is a clever game that has become quite popular among many of my friends in the last couple years. Each player holds a hand of cards facing away from themselves, so everyone else can see it but themselves. The players take turns playing, discarding cards, or giving each other hints about their cards within specific parameters. The goal is to collectively play cards in a specific order before the deck runs out; everyone scores together as a team.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">With these limits on communication, it becomes a game all about reading subtle signals that we give each other, and thinking ahead to what's going to happen in the turns following yours. Most experienced players establish conventions to handle these things so everyone knows what to expect, which introduces more ways to know you've messed up. (Hence why I don't like to establish those conventions for most players' first game.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When something almost inevitably goes wrong, it often leads to a blame game afterwards. "You should have warned me about that 5 before I discarded it!" or "Why didn't you play that card that I had told you about?" dominate the debriefing. We get in the mindset of comparing each other with an ideal level of play and keeping track of the mistakes each person makes. We might say we're trying to improve, but in the end, we often just get angrier at each other than if we had been playing a backstabbing competitive game, ironically.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've come to realize that it's rarely healthy to try to assign blame to individuals like that, even more so when blame is not nearly as clear cut as it is in Hanabi.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">First, it's almost never just one person's fault. This obviously applies to communication problems: If they didn't do what you wanted, you probably could have communicated better. If you didn't do what they wanted, you probably could have asked for clarification. Whatever the mistake, step outside of your own rage and think about what you could have done differently to reduce the likelihood of failure, even if it seems to you like their fault.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Second, it leads us to ignore environmental factors at play. In Hanabi, sometimes bad shuffle luck can make the game go poorly without any one person being at fault, and we can forget that in processing what went wrong after the game. The Fundamental Attribution Error is the mistake of assigning personal reasons for others' behavior when we assign environmental blame for our own. Find and acknowledge the environmental reasons as factors at play whenever mistakes are made.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Third, it's quite problematic to be wrong about who to blame. If someone is unjustly accused, they can take it personally, and possibly see it as a part of some larger bias that you have. Moreover, they might be right; bias easily plays a role if you're firing out blame at will. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Even if you take the blame yourself more than called for, that can also seem and be a bit passive aggressive. ("No one else steps up and takes responsibility around here, so I guess I have to do it," you implicitly say, hoping people notice.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Finally, it's very hard to know what to do with individual blame. Should they just feel ashamed for what they did? It can feel satisfying to say that this mistake was entirely someone else's fault, but the problem solving doesn't end there. Even if they truly are responsible, there's probably something they need to change to prevent it from happening again, and in social leadership, you can potentially help them find that, but only if you don't tear them down for the mistake in the first place.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I hope this post is helpful as you learn to lead by delegating and avoid some of the pitfalls around it! Remember, delegation is important, negative suspicions can escalate, and you really don't want to turn into Darth Vader.</span>Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-74459611900925121912015-05-29T01:40:00.000-04:002015-05-29T02:49:09.304-04:00How Grace and I Met<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My girlfriend Grace Goon and I are celebrating our six-month dating anniversary today. We thought this would be an appropriate time to share how we met and started dating. We've color-coded who was writing at the time; it should be easy to figure out. Enjoy!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One fine day, I received an email:</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Avast, me hearties!</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Cap'n Gerald, th' sharp-tongued wench Alice and I gunna be cookin' up a Korean barrrrbecue dinner this here Friday, Septembarrrr th' 19th, ready to be devoured after 7 hourglass cycles have passed since midday. We be dockin' in the port o' Sidney and Pacific, in the fifth floor kitchen, and ye be invited to parrrrtake in the plunderin'!</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If ye be kind, float me a letter in a bottle notifyin' me of yer enlistin' in this here crew. Fare thee well!</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yer matey,</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sam</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To welcome the new first-years to the Graduate Christian Fellowship, we older students in the fellowship teamed up in groups to cook meals in groups for the first-years. As we were planning, Alice suggested that we find a dress-up theme, and Gerald discovered that the day we’d be meeting would be International Talk Like a Pirate Day! So we decided to fashion our e-mails and costumes in that style…</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="10801634_10152399230291104_5709814663943306930_n.jpg" height="266" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/YE8d_Z2bPTSRutA0Yz2bZrBhOLF1ncHPq2qArsazjJE8IWQA96eq-6QNOsLCbcGdlC-OuHvyf6HIZpYk966YOhTX9UsdzLYy3O5VES06LuTDLPksD_0xJOK-xZCy96zLaVGhT4s" style="-webkit-transform: rotate(0rad); border: none; transform: rotate(0rad);" width="400" /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(Grace is on the left, I’m second from the right with a weird look on my face…)</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff9900; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">That was a particularly bad week for me because (long story short) things were not going well with my previous research advisor and me. At that point of time, I was already having thoughts of dropping out of grad school. So I almost forgot about dinner, but still managed to make it in time in the end. Then I met Sam and everything changed (just kidding, I was still thinking of going home for the next two weeks).</span><br />
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">After dinner, we played a get-to-know-you game, where one person would ask a question, everyone else would answer it, and the asker would have to guess which answer came from whom. I remember getting the distinct impression that she was a geek from an answer mentioning comic book stores.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff9900; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">One of the questions Alice asked was “if there is a fire and you could only save one thing, what would you save?” The first thing that came to mind for me was all the random letters and souvenirs I collected during my time in Cambridge, but that would be too many things! Sam’s answer was “drawer of keepsakes” which made me think of him as really sentimental.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">We meet again and again</span></span></h2>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We later ran into each other again at a couple board game nights started by a Caltech friend of mine named Helena. Through one of her labmates, Guang Hao (who also knew Grace from Cambridge), a bunch of Singaporeans got involved in the group, and one of them invited Grace in, too.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Yayy board games! That was something I wanted to join here and was glad that there is a game group right here at Sidney-Pacific! I went for one of the board games sessions and Sam was there as well! (I hadn’t really noticed him at that point of time though) We then met a few more times. We even played together as a team for my first </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">7 Wonders </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">game. There was then this Resistance game when Sam was one of the spies (bad bad spy) and I was the ONLY resistance who suspected him! But Sam was so good at lying (tsk tsk) that he still managed to convince everyone else. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I had a second chance to deceive her (muahahaha) at a Murder Mystery Party in our dorm, Sidney-Pacific. It was an interesting night, as we each were given roles to play and information to tell people, then someone died and we had to figure it out. As it turned out, I was the murderer, but I was able to keep myself concealed, though Grace almost suspected it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sam was playing the bad guy again! And I kind of suspected him for a while, but of course we know how good he is at lying (tsk tsk). </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><img alt="Murder Mystery Party 1.jpg" height="295" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/2j9FNm8D67Tw1kZ4itug0V3MQV-FTAUEcKCaESx-QZQE8fogCNJEjI_B4dgpp29BTynB9cvB8XzeHDhQ-m-8HN7nqO7Sen3AKxuf0nUFCjL9YBhJWgawrYawSd_uCmUZHJKdwh0" style="-webkit-transform: rotate(0rad); border: none; transform: rotate(0rad);" width="400" /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><img alt="Murder Mystery Party 2.jpg" height="295" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/B_ITwuuutR2A2f2kXqwUTfMgvgbtLqcdV3Ki8MsjMB8tkcreJPtWvAIt3nDUldbdNgWSJtG06woJzlevMyb-AUiYrchXXOLt_wyjVGuIDwm385YQDBKJ7hZt0Ctvl6Wol0FsQDc" style="-webkit-transform: rotate(0rad); border: none; transform: rotate(0rad);" width="400" /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then it was the week before Halloween! My friend, Linh, and I were brainstorming about our Halloween costumes. So being a Star Wars fan, I initially wanted to dress up as a Stormtrooper. Then Linh convinced me to dress up as a female character in Star Wars. So I posted “Padme or Leia for Halloween?” as my Facebook status and Sam was the first one to comment. Linh of course picked up on the comment and started looking at Sam’s profile. Our conversation went something like this. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Me: I think he is pretty cute</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Linh: (looking at profile) eh not bad ah. Go for him!</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Me: erm….</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A few days before Halloween was Guang Hao’s birthday, and Grace and I both went to his birthday dinner. We ended up sitting next to each other, and I decided to ask her more about her faith and churches she had visited in Boston so far. Later, the two of us ended up switching tables when we split into two, and had a lot of fun trying to pick up our water glasses with chopsticks. I always seem to end up doing silly random (but fun) things like that when I hang out with Singaporeans. :P Here’s the picture we took all together at the end:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="1378656_10204266710720374_3619569330589913749_n.jpg" height="225" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/8fkX9aOCyLV3r6J3MBRbxgOIUPEKxsQBWk3SVgrrqPL3ZSWyp1LfI2A_TRCJ3iSXx7Jt8ZNHTR1nO3etMVpqPUmcDZyK8aPh2ie0Ps2WYaG4VORXzhzedttgjwexEe3OaA1_gJo" style="-webkit-transform: rotate(0rad); border: none; transform: rotate(0rad);" width="400" /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We sat together and Sam caught my attention for the first time because he asked me a lot of questions about my faith and church. Part of the reason was because I had just decided to stay on at MIT and was looking for places I can serve and grow spiritually. Anyway, Sam was all super enthusiastic about his church and GCF: “You should come to my church! You will like it!”. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Later that night, my conversation with Linh went something like</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Me: You remember that Sam guy who commented about my Halloween costume? He kept talking to me at the dinner</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Linh: AHHH (looking at the picture above) waa not bad, potential boyfriend ;P</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The next day, I received a Facebook invitation to a joint GCF-ACF Large Group from Sam. Then I showed up!</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Haha, Grace was one of only three of us GCFers who responded to the Facebook event invitation (along with me and Gerald, our president). ACF communicates events that way to their group, but us old grad students can’t be bothered to reply on Facebook, except Grace. :)</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Hints of something more...</span></span></h2>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So when did we first start liking each other? On my side, it was pretty gradual. I “noticed” her the first day we met, in a sense. But I’ve “noticed” quite a few girls like that who I wouldn’t say I “liked” --- meh, it’s all a gradient. From my perspective, at this point, I was just getting to know Grace as a friendly fellow GCFer, encouraging her in her faith and to grow closer to the community we have in GCF.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It was pretty gradual for me as well. We happened to meet each other at various events/gatherings pretty often. And as I mentioned, I noticed him at Guang Hao’s birthday party. However, there wasn’t really much one-on-one conversation or interactions for me to say that I like him, but I was of course interested to get to know him better as friend and brother in Christ. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Taking a cue from Sam Perli, I was planning a big birthday party for myself, the day after my birthday, November 8th. I invited friends from at least six different social circles to come together, eat dinner and cupcakes (paid for by my parents!) and play board games!</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was initially unable to attend Sam’s party so I thought I should just drop him an email and use that as an excuse to meet and have ice cream! Linh ended up typing out the second part of my email.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hey Sam!</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don’t think I can make it for the party next week ): but I would totally get you ice cream for your birthday! Toscanini? Let me know!</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Cheers,</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Grace</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I starred this e-mail to get back to later. Ice cream in November didn’t exactly inspire me… but I also figured that I’d wait until after my party to take her up on it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">AND THERE WAS NO REPLY FROM SAM!</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But I found out later that my weekend trip became a day trip on Sunday, so I could make it after all and RSVPed.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After the birthday party, I posted some pictures on Facebook, including these of Grace:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="10685570_10205321953310757_537266963860683697_n.jpg" height="300" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/aTfynC37gwBK1JchoI_GY-HFUsAHuuz4Fq9zKamj9CuO_PNtaxnSrJp1YzvFv0ZqElEbWfKKMGFuoXu_avOR4AkVLuA52-ukYfPKD9yYlUCnNx7VfDoF1u3Zfo6pIuEg34NAkWs" style="-webkit-transform: rotate(0rad); border: none; transform: rotate(0rad);" width="400" /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This picture is nice because it illustrates a bunch of the different parts of my life people there were from: from left to right, Xiaowei (Sidney-Pacific), Sam and Nigel (GCF), Martin (church), William (frisbee), Grace, and Yasha (math department).</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="15817_10205321965151053_7776594274475067105_n.jpg" height="300" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/onikhO2Eke5cAIUdyY5_wlz3v7kOOdroBfMwVDwQKlFMGeVcRDPUM1kWLyGMK0kW_-6Xxd3f6whQCUlh5abIBdHg6gTVgZnTm0R839YNrj1-ykjDsSbnLTpWvOpqOmW356TLhTo" style="-webkit-transform: rotate(0rad); border: none; transform: rotate(0rad);" width="400" /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Grace stayed later in the night, though by that point people had sorted themselves and all of the Monopoly Deal players were GCFers.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On Facebook, Grace sent me this message:</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hey! Saw the pics for the party it was awesome and had a lot of fun playing the games!</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thanks for hosting and hope you had a fun time</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">See you at board games!</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I suspected that she was interested in me… but wanted to get to know her better first. I simply replied:</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yay, I'm glad you enjoyed it! I definitely had a lot of fun. :)</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That evening, I finally got around to stalking her Facebook profile, and noticed her blog! I asked her about it and we had a long and meandering conversation through her hope of going to South America to take more pictures, my sister joining the Peace Corps there, the missions trip I went on to Taiwan, and missions trips in general. We eventually moved the conversation to Gchat, which I prefer.</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A week later, I asked Sam about the Taiwan trip and he sent me this 53-page Word document about it. That was when I first discovered how long-winded he is. And also how much he likes to document things.</span></span></div>
<h2 dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The final build-up</span></span></h2>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After large group on November 21st, I invited Grace to come play Dominion with the usual GCF Dominion group (e.g. Sam Perli, Stephanie Lam), the first time we had played together after large group this year! She’d never played before but we threw her in the deep end, using cards from all the expansions, since I knew that she’d enjoy it from playing board games with her previously.</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When I got back, I couldn’t sleep.. Sam noticed and started chatting with me. I think this was when we started chatting more. </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In fact, the next night, we played games with our board game group, and afterwards, I had to stay up to make cookies for my church’s Thanksgiving gathering the next day. When I was done, I noticed Grace still online. Since she had mentioned being hungry the night before, I decided to offer her one of the cookies I had just made.</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Cookies at 3am? Erm ok.. I was kind of suspicious by then that Sam likes me. But you know how good he is at lying…. :P I was hungry anyway, so I got a cookie!</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The games group was building up momentum, so over Thanksgiving break, I proposed that we spend an entire day playing games together, and asked a few of the common board game players if they were in, including Grace.</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was initially intending to go for two different ski trips over Thanksgiving break. Due to my non-existent skiing skills, laziness, Black Friday shopping and my desire to watch all 6 episodes of Star Wars in one go, I decided to stay around. (and I also found out that Sam will be around for the break, so that was an additional pull factor :P)</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The following Wednesday, we were playing games in Sidney-Pacific as usual, and I started playing background pop music. Grace and I sung along the most, and it kept playing while we were cleaning up. I asked for help carrying games back to my room, and since Grace lived in SidPac, she stayed late to help. After everyone else had left, what song should come on my playlist but </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEcjgJSqSRU">The Saga Begins</a></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> by Weird Al, telling the story of Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, to the tune of </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">American Pie</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. She hadn’t heard the song before, so I suggested we listen through to the end, and of course, I sang along, inadvertently serenading her, I guess...</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Did he just sing the entire song shamelessly? HAHA… I thought it was cute and funny. Coincidentally, I happened to be halfway through watching Star Wars Episode 5 at that point of time. Finishing that I went on to Episode 1 because I got reminded of that through the song. </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Well, Sam chatted with me again that night and our conversation ended like this:</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">good night Sam (:</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">thanks for singing the song just now</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">hehe</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I thought you’d like it</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">even though my singing sucks</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">no you were good and i thought it was really cute</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">hahaha</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">LOL</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">ok good night!</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">that’s err what I was going for...err…</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">goodnight!</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What was he going for???? Puzzled I asked him after Thanksgiving Potluck</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So sam… what were you going for? :P</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She had sent me this chat while I wasn’t even online, so it seemed that this was really weighing on her mind, and she really wanted to talk about it. But I didn’t want this conversation to take place over chat. So later that night, I told her:</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">hey</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">hey</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">so honestly, I just like singing along to songs</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and felt comfortable enough doing so</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">sorry if it seemed weird</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">oh no it wasn’t weird..</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i sing along to songs too</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ok.. So he was just toying with me… I was kind of disappointed ):</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I began looking for better opportunities to talk with her. The next night, I asked her if she was excited about our board game marathon the following day, and she told me that she was watching Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. Seeing an opportunity...</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Star Wars Episode 2… So much talking! So many wipes! I was planning to go to sleep and then continue with the movie the next day. Ok Sam kind of mentioned something about the action starting after the factory scene and something about watching it with me.. wait what? let me go back and see what he wrote:</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">are you at the good part yet?</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">the end of that movie is the best</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">iirc the good part starts when Anakin and Padme get to that factory</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh no.. they are still at Tatooine</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">mm ic</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">lemme know when they get there</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I might come up and watch with you :P</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Gulp. Did I actually just say that? Well, she didn’t react to it…</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">hmm… interesting… let me continue with the movie. Ok factory scene! </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Factory now lol</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">haha</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">do you mind if I come up and watch with you?</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">it’s like inviting myself :P</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hahaha</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ok</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">831b</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So I came up and we watched and laughed at the end of the movie! After that, I showed her the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sKRRY5tQz8">Honest</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nJS-LPcFfw">Trailers</a> and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4hvUvBmoaA">How It Should Have Ended</a>’s for Episodes I and II, and we had a good laugh at all of them.</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hahaha.. that was fun. Then suddenly Sam went silent and had this serious look.</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Once I’d exhausted all of the ways to make her laugh… I asked her something like,</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“So… I think you think I like you.”</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Yeah, I think it's pretty obvious that you like me.”</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Okay, so I want to be clear: If you don’t like me back and you want to stay just friends, I’m perfectly fine with that.”</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sam just kept on about how its ok if I don’t like him and hoping that we can still continue to be friends. I mean, wasn’t it obvious that I am interested??? Taking a sharp breath I said</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“No, but I do like you!”</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In my mind, that changed everything!</span></span></div>
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</span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sam looked stunned. He then gathered himself and asked about my scholarship bond, to which I replied that it was troubling me as well. Sitting in the dark silently for what seemed like a really long time, we then decided to talk about the possibility of entering a relationship. </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We talked about our two major hurdles as I saw them: Grace has to go back to Singapore after graduating and work for the Singaporean government for six years, and I kind of like it here in the US. Oh, and she has the same name as my sister… Anyways, we tentatively agreed that we needed to get to know each other better and would expect to date for a period of something like six months at least (I wanted to calibrate our expectations, to quantify how committed we felt).</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Were those tears in his eyes when we talked about Singapore? We talked about so much stuff! About our past and what dating entails and where our relationship is heading… </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #674ea7; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Haha, I’m not sure. It did feel like a heavy burden to bear at the time (and still does, to some extent). We ended up talking into that night until 4:30am. I remember asking, “So, what now?” and we ended up just holding hands while sitting next to each other.</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wait what just happened? The next morning, I woke up thinking that I just had a really strange Define the Relationship dream. Then there was this email from this guy called Sam Elder:</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #674ea7; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I didn't really just meet you, and it's sort of crazy that I don't have it yet, but here's my number:</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #674ea7; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">970-232-5820.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #674ea7; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Text me maybe?</span></span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #ff9900; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh.. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #ff9900; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(:</span></span>Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-70273119713820680232015-05-20T01:50:00.000-04:002015-05-21T12:56:25.404-04:00What Are You Building?<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm currently visiting Caltech right now, my sixth visit since graduating almost 3 years ago. One of the nice things about this pattern of visiting twice a year is the opportunity to take a step outside of the daily grind and see how things have changed (or not changed) on a larger timescale.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yesterday, I got a chance to visit the church that I attended while I was a student here. "Attended" doesn't quite capture the sense of how involved I was; this was the church where I got baptized, the first church I was ever a member of, and the church which inspired my now-ubiquitous rides spreadsheets, possibly the biggest tangible lasting effect I had during my time here.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When I arrived at Caltech in the fall of 2008, Life Baptist Church was a new church plant, around a year old. It was started by a handful of Asian American Berkeley alumni couples in their 30s and 40s who had been good friends for over a decade. As I came to understand, they started the church in part to minister to the Caltech students who had been coming from Pasadena all the way to downtown LA for church at the parent church. One of these students (John Shen) had even decided to stay for grad school in Southern California so that he could continue to help out the new church. Seeing such inspiring dedication motivated me to go there and invite a lot of my friends to come along.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Over the years, the older generation started to be taken away from us one by one. One couple that had personally inspired me before I even came to Caltech (at Prefrosh Weekend), moved to England where the husband had an opportunity to teach as a professor. Another beloved couple moved to China, also for a professor position, hoping to impact both academia and China for the gospel. Just last month, one of the two remaining families moved to the Netherlands, a work-related move which they also saw as an opportunity to spread the gospel in another difficult place.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Among that original crowd, just the pastor, Ray Choi, and his family remain. Ray is a good friend of mine, and has a particular heart for Caltech students. Despite God scattering his close friends across the world, he has remained faithful to this church and will continue to do so.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But this week, when I was visiting from Boston, Ray was gone to his cousin's wedding in NYC. Preaching the sermon in his place was Dongyoon Oh, another friend and Caltech 2011 alum who is now in grad school at Caltech again. He shared his moving testimony of becoming a Christian at Caltech, and his decision to stay in the area afterwards, to help build this church community, in the context of thoughts on hearing God's voice and Psalm 23.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In fact, pretty much the entire church service was run by Caltech students and alums. It was pretty inspiring to see my good friends who had chosen to stay after graduation, many at Pastor Ray's encouragement, to serve. There was Jarvis Li playing bass, who had become a Christian through the church and stayed at Caltech for grad school, Andre Pradhana running the worship music slides, who had chosen UCLA over Stanford because of the opportunity to be nearby and serve the church, and Sophia Hsien, who had chosen USC for med school over schools back in her native New York for similar reasons. My best friend at Caltech, Peter Ngo, wasn't serving this week, but he had chosen to come back to the LA area after getting his Master's at Georgia Tech in part to serve the church.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was touched by this very prominent manifestation of their sacrifice. Caltech is a tiny school, and we feel quite distinct from the rest of suburban Pasadena. Some students feel at home in other churches in the area, but many that I know either had to drive a long way to get there or struggled to connect. We're not as isolated as Hyde Park, but also not as surrounded as Boston.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hill Community Church (its new name) is never going to be a huge church. Caltech has less than 1000 students, and the most that have come to our church service I think was around 60 one Easter. But there is still a huge need for spiritual direction at Caltech, which unlike MIT has no chaplain system nor paid fellowship staff workers. And I appreciate my friends who have stayed in the area after graduation to try to fill this need.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">---</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On Friday, the MIT Graduate Christian Fellowship had our "Goodbye to Graduates" gathering, where we wished eight graduating students farewell. Among these students were some of the pillars of the fellowship, who had all arrived at MIT together nearly seven years ago.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As each of them shared their stories of first getting involved with GCF, we were all reminded of how sparse the fellowship had been when they first arrived. Four of those 7th years had served as GCF presidents over the years, and they've continued to serve by organizing seeker groups and playing in the worship band this year while trying to finish up and graduate.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Certainly, there were costs to their service. Most PhD's take fewer than seven years, and there's no doubt that the time and heart that they poured into GCF gave them less time and heart to pour into research. But they also have no doubt that God rewarded them academically beyond what they gave. It's hard to run the control to that experiment, but from what I know of their theses, I can see what they mean.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This group of graduate students had chosen to spend their years at MIT building up the community of GCF. When they first arrived, GCF had been a community mainly composed of younger students, with the implicit understanding that once you got to your second or third year, you stopped coming to focus on your research. They weren't sure that a community could thrive here throughout grad school. But they had faith, and were willing to invest and see what would happen. The current community that exists in GCF is a testament to that faith becoming sight.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">---</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've shared two examples of Christians building faith-based communities at universities, but there's a larger point here we can all relate to. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What both of these groups had in common was <b>mindfulness</b>. They weren't just going through a system, getting a degree, advancing their career.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This isn't to say that any of those things are bad. Instead, they were aware that while getting a degree or working at a job, they could use their time to build something bigger than themselves. They were on a mission, giving purpose to their time, and focused externally on a greater good.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This can happen in a wide variety of contexts. In undergrad, it can happen in your dorm or sports team or club. In grad school, it can happen in your lab or department or apartment. In working life, it can take place at your job or with your neighbors. Romantic relationships and family can also be a source of purpose in any of these stages.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Whatever your context, what are you building? What are you using your steady accumulation of time and energy to contribute to?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">---</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I should ask myself as well: Where am I investing? Based on my time audit that I <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/05/what-ive-learned-from-time-auditing.html">wrote about last week</a>, it might seem like I'm spread in a bunch of different directions.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And I am. I wouldn't be visiting Caltech if I didn't also value this community like I value the communities I'm a part of at MIT. I see these visits as trying to overcome the natural age segregation that keeps college students relatively isolated from others similar to them who have, say, been to grad school.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And that diffuseness is also true at MIT. This was most apparent at my birthday party in November, when I invited friends from all of the different parts of my life -- a board game group, fellow math grad students, frisbee-playing friends as well as those from GCF and my church community group. I think I <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2014/07/weird-al-and-things-i-fundamentally.html">fundamentally enjoy</a> bringing together those different parts of my life like that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There's also a common thread in some of these communities, though. I perceive a need to describe and live as an intellectually rigorous and real Christian. This is one of the things I love about my church; there is a lot of careful thought put into all aspects of the service and how people live their lives. It's also one reason I like organizing GCF large groups; we can bring in a variety of speakers, both pastors and Christian professors, to help a group of MIT grad students understand our faith even better. It's why I've coordinated the <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/04/veritas-forum-lessons-part-1-stop.html">Veritas</a> <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/04/veritas-forum-lessons-part-2-dialogue.html">Forum</a> at MIT the last two years, to bring out conversations and discussions related to subjects of faith. And it's why I've started this blog, to continue these discussions among all of the friends I've gathered from different parts of my life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So what am I building? It isn't as concrete as a community or a church, but I'm slowly trying to build a movement of people honestly thinking through all aspects of their lives. Maybe this will look more tangible down the road. Maybe I'll join a larger organization like <a href="http://qideas.org/">Q</a> which exists for a similar purpose. But for now, this blog is probably the most concrete manifestation of this vision.</span>Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-24077634192657266302015-05-15T19:34:00.004-04:002015-05-21T12:55:22.390-04:00What I've learned from time auditing myself<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For a two-week period recently (April 27 to May 11), I time-audited myself. That is, I recorded everything that I spent time on, in 5-minute increments. I'm happy to share with you what I learned from both the resulting data and the process.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Introduction</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I started this project somewhat spontaneously. I found myself frustrated for a lack of time, and wondered, "Where does all of my time go, after all? Why don't I try to measure it?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is a project that I found very rewarding, as it helped me gauge exactly what I spend time on. I didn't see it as a moral judgment, but obviously there are some natural suggestions for improvement.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When he heard about this project, one of my friends asked a simple question: "If there are things you don't want to do, why don't you just stop doing them?" My response is that everything that I did over the course of these two weeks, I wanted to do, either because I enjoyed it or as means to another end.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The main purpose of studying my time like this is to try to gauge where the different tradeoffs are. What am I going to have to spend less time on if I want to do more of X?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Unlike most scientific papers, you're going to have to keep reading to get my conclusions. :)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Methodology</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To record the raw data, I used a Google spreadsheet that looked something like this:</span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIZCHrJQt0_gxrPSOlIDlDQjkAMk5ltB5EFmoCG789rvuRw8Rzre-OT-PoxwlrkuXGvFeo0n6aGLNoqkz4Y2z9WtclvslPxgWNfM-YgGuoJj1McJakg56tJa5bfCxv7bTtTWJVVsIMvPU/s400/Time+Audit+Snapshot.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="400" /></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Figure 1: The spreadsheet. Note: I later renamed the "Research" category to "Math."</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I simply listed every category of activity I took part in, and added up in 5-minute increments how much time I spent on each in a given day. The "Updated To" row helped me as I retraced what I had done since the last update, and I highlighted the row of the current day so I could find it easily. (Since my typical sleep schedule is around 1am to 9am, I decided to put my transition between days at 5am.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Where I was doing multiple things at once, e.g. walking and reading Feedly, I just listed it as the one where my attention was based. If I toggled between activities, I tried to estimate how much time I spent on each the next time I checked in.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Surprisingly, this was not a huge burden on me, either time-wise or psychologically. I also had a slot for this recording, and in all, I estimated I took 165 minutes doing the recording over the course of two weeks.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In fact, after the first week, I was so enthusiastic about it that I wanted to do it all the time. At the end of the second week of recording, though, I was starting to wear down, so I decided it was a good time to stop.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On a positive note, this practice did make me much more aware of where my time was going. Recording everything led to some moments where I would ask myself, "Where did the last 15 minutes go?", which helped me notice when time was just slipping by.</span></div>
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Results</span></h2>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I categorized my time in a couple of different ways.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">First, I picked out some major categories of my life, and plotted the time spent on each:</span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img height="247" 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" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="400" /></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Figure 2: The macro-categories of my time. All units are in hours per week.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Most of these should be pretty self-explanatory, but I might as well describe them.</span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Health</b> obviously includes sleeping, as well as exercising and showering. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Math</b> is primarily research and a reading seminar I was a part of.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Social</b> is the broadest category, including my relationship with Grace, talking with friends in my department and dorm, and keeping up with old friends and family.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Christian</b> primarily includes my involvement in my church, community group, Graduate Christian Fellowship.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Special</b> is an unusually large category these two weeks, covering my community group's camping trip and time spent hosting a friend on my futon.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Fun</b> consists of Facebook and other reading-type distractions, keeping up with Major League Baseball, and games nights.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Tasks</b> includes all sorts of miscellaneous tasks, the biggest of which was reading my e-mails.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Writing</b> is this blog.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My <b>Teaching</b> involvement these two weeks was all with Art of Problem Solving.</span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The second way I categorized my time was by "tiers."</span></div>
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img height="234" 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gKcOTdH8vcqq5f4Se4QG2QCMifA4kbmCyyX6cWFx+Hd7Xe4NPkSnu57ahbTMhdxowyzbd08+L5JftjZWLHI0cNbRnfeHL70NvVoOEXPGnzmnuHdNnpwg00yAdkTYHEj+yU27wlSpCb8bjgujr8ojnGb02OO4kbBt339vOjZND9sbLgMhDm9c+wrE2ACKQRY3PCbYJIExMmnl9E4P/I8Hu14ZJI+ZuaUOYsbmpu9nTW+b5wfXf/HRR0zW2v+nAkwAdMiwOLGtNbD4r15Hx8FO2tbRD+LxuYiKZeJmetj7uJGwZ3qXA3y90S10q5c18pcX0b2mwlYGAEWNxa24KY83cTkJCy4/CNW3FqDwHZncbztcTzc8tCUXc7QN7mIG8UkSdyMaOcFD1dbODvwhYBm+2Ky40zAAgiwuLGARTb1KUbEReDSqysYeWos7ry9K9wdWKEf+hbuie0Ftpm6+2r9k5u4UUyUtqmowKNSWSKzXSN2nAkwAXkSYHEjz3U1i1nFJcbjQ0I0hp0cg813t37k862Ol/Fi7gtcmqhdbR5TmbxcxQ3xpQsAx3cugsJ5Hbisg6m8cBL6ERUVJaqG02V8b9680ejyv4zu0dH0jh0Jp8CmLJwAixsLfwGMNf3IuEgcfHIYg4+PQERcpEo3/Eu0xMyqAdjsap65N3IWN4oF6/hlXvRvURDWdEEOP7IhQBf3pb+gL7PJsbjJjBB/bkgCLG4MSZvHEgTex7/HwGNDse3ezkyJHGm5D65HsuNo+6OZtjW1BpYgboh56SIumNqtKPLktIODHZdz0Md7SMKBKmhnz54d27dvFzcOT5s2DWXKlBHDKd8C3Lx5c1F1283NDcnJydi3bx+mT58u2lEkhqp20+dOTk5p+jVs2FDcNuzs7IzRo0dj165doKKbdNvxsWPHRB8qjEn2FixYIOz4+PgIEVSpUiVxA/Ly5cvFbcVU8qFixYriM29v749uR1bnb3R0tJgn3Vzs7u4uxmzUqJGoKM4PE9CGAIsbbWhx2ywRoNyawFdX0fNIP4REa1YDqkb+atjceD025d4EushP18cuux2+3Pal6L63wV7xlX5Xd31deH7lCWs7a4TdCMPpAafx4tiLj4ap8WMN+HT1gZ2LHd4/fY8LYy7g7rqU/CB1j6WIG8X8x3UqLC6kowrk/EhLgIRDv379xB97Kky5adMm3LhxQwgPKlg5ZswY8RmJja1bt+L+/fui/MHdu3cxb948TJo0SQgjKsWQlJQkhNHr169T+5FYon43b94UtaloW0oRuVHelnr8+HGqvbx582Ljxo24dOkSpk6diqdPn6JPnz4YPHgwGjRogEOHDonCmSSsqOaVotSC8rjp/T148KCYFxXgfPXqlfCbBJenp6e0QNma7AmwuJH9EpvGBGMT4zD9wiwsDPxZa4d+a/ALaryqil2f79K6L3XIWTonai6uifx++fH86HPsrZ8ibqrMqALf73xxOeAyXp1/hVq/1ULkw0gcaHIgzThFWhRBjfk1cHPxTdxacgt1VteBSyEXbK+yncVNOgKNq3lgQufCvE2l05uqvpMichMQECDqNilvAR04cECImSFDhogIR0REBKgd/UyFLOlp27at+HrlyhX8/vvvQjRQNObq1asYMWKE6BcWFiYKbpJIypYtm0pxQ9Ee5efcuXP4448/hFh6/vw5Vq5cKQQTRX9IINE4vXv3RmJiYqq4ychf8mfZsmUYMGCAiAaRHX6YgC4EWNzoQo37aEXgbew7dDvYE389O6FVP0Xjwq5eCGx/Fvvq78PzI5pVV1YeqFVgK9i62CI2LBbx7+NTxU16Z2qvqo3clXNjc5m0OT6VJldC6d6lcWbwGdxdexd+y/3g2dATf3X6Cy+OfhzlUdi1tMiNYt4lPZ0xp3cx5M1pDxsO4uj0zqfvlD6fRfnnPXv2YOTIkWm60HbSihUrsG3bNhQtWhT+/v7i8/T96HeKz5Qrjnt4eKgUN1SYk6JBhw8fFhGWy5cvi+KcCnGjXAhT2R6No/gsI3+9vLywe/dukcxM0Z527dqhf//+yJEjhyQc2YjlEGBxYzlrbfCZUm7N7bAgdDjwncbbUOqcHFl5KLrm7ogdRXZoPY98X+TDmytv8OX2f7el/o3cKBsq9FUhfLHkC7E19WezP9OMwZEbrZHDztYK8/oUR7niLnwnjvb4PuqRkbihSEh4eDi6dOnyUT+KqsTExKR+ltXIze3btzF79mx06tQJpUuXBm1TkYBSFbmhCBJFggYNGvRR5Eadv4oJUK5QcHAwZsyYgdq1a6NFixYSUGQTlkSAxY0lrbYB5xoeG4FdD/ZgwLEhkoxqa22LoM5XETQmCNfnXdfJZuPDjUU/xbaUwsgXv3wh8mkSPiSIauNXZ139yH6tFbVQokMJkZsTExqD86PP4/avtzP0w1IjN8pQfmhdCC39csPZgUM4Or20/3bKSNxQhIPyZEhI+Pr6IjAwUCT0Us4MCQRdc25oe0mRf6OIupCQIl8oJ4bEy5QpU0TSMokQ8oPygigZ+fPPPxc5PJSPQ3lBtGWlsJGRv5Sn8+DBA2GfnpkzZ6JOnTrw8/PLCj7ua4EEWNxY4KLre8rRCR8w48JsLLqyRNKhOpVqh/Hlx2Brzi062VUnbhTGKGnYu7U3TvU9hUfb/6tnRbk5xdsWx+mBp/Fo5yNUm10N3v7eONn7JJ7uV1/Mk8VNClkSN8PaeIpoDj+6EchI3NBW0YULF4SICAoKEttElDhMScLKp6Xs7e3RunVrkfhLbenkk/KpJcVpKdqSiouLE6eW9u7dKwSO4rQUnWYi0UQip3LlyiKXh05VUdIwHR9fvHixSFwmYVOvXj0hdCjxWNn/jPxVPi1F7Xr06CGiTvQ9P0xAGwIsbrShxW0zJUD/Y9rjSF9suZtxsm2mhtQ0OP3NX7DaCpzoqX3+TmbipkTHEqg+rzpuLLqBy5Mvp3rQcG9DZC+SPTUXR9GOkoupWrm6h8XNf2RqlXPD7F7enGis64svQT8SLBs2bICNjQ06dOgggUU2wQRMlwCLG9NdG7PzLCYhBm33d8LxZyf15ns9zzpY2WAZNjj+rvUY6cVNzSU1UbhJYZzocQLBp4JRZXoVFG5WGCd7po3IUOSGIjokZO79fk9Eboq3K45T/dJGeNI7xOImLZFPi2XDTwNL8BaV1m+u7h1oi4qiNJT8S0m533zzjTiJxKeQdGfKPc2DAIsb81gnk/eSTkS12N0GV19f07uvfzRai7J3S6XeV6PpgOnFDR0Rrz6/OgrULiByaaJfRotj4RSRUY7OXJ19VSQbU2KxrZMtYt/G4saPN3BpUsZlIVjcfLwy3vmdsGxoSbhls9V02bgdE2ACTEBrAixutEbGHdITCIkOQdOdrXH33T2DwPF198Ep/yPYVWUXXl96bZAxdRmExY1qavk97LFiuC9yu9npgpX7MAEmwAQyJcDiJlNE3CAjAs/eP0fjHS3wJFJ9Yq0+CE77fBJaOnyNnb6Zl3DQx/ia2GRxo55Srhx2WDXSF/nc7TVByW2YABNgAloRYHGjFS5urEzgaeQzNNzRDC/evzQ4mOz22XGrUyAu9b6IoN+CDD6+JgOyuMmYEgmb5cN8WOBo8jJxGybABLQiwOJGK1zcWEGABM2X25vg+Xv1N/Tqm1bPT7phqO8gbMu9Vd9D6WSfxU3m2CiCs3Z0Kd6iyhwVt2ACTEALAixutIDFTVMIvP4Qiq+2NcXDiP/ugjEWm8vtziDytwicHXLWWC6oHZfFjWZLQjk4JHA4yVgzXtyKCTCBzAmwuMmcEbdQIkAlFb7a3gy33vxjElyaFP0ffvKbj40uG03CH2UnWNxoviTe+R2xalQpPiauOTJuyQSYQAYEWNzw66ExgcTkRDTZ2RJnX57XuI8hGu5uthWFLhbAweYHDTGcxmOwuNEYlWhI9+AsH1pS1hf9vV09D++P7EDcvZtizg4lP0W2es3h1jGl3AA/TIAJSEOAxY00HGVvJS4xDl0P9sC+R2mLSprCxCvkKYf9zXdiW4ltiHwYaQouCR9Y3Gi/FHST8Ywe3rIr1RD/9D5eDv0W9FXVY+dZDPnnbAB9VfXMmjULS5cu/eij8uXLg2pA7dixA6NGjYKTk5P20AFR2HLt2rX45ZdfRBkF5VIM6gxm5NPy5cuRM2dOnXzhTkxACgIsbqSgKHMbkXHvMf7MZKy6tdZkZ/pj7bloEFsXuyrsMhkfWdzothRUi4oKbsqp2OaTNlXUChsFJRI2Xhszjop++PBB1HGiqtzFixfXDbCKXidOnMCff/6JkSNHituLN27ciEePHmHEiBGiXENGj758kmxybMgiCbC4schl13zSEXGR+O3mKkw+O03zTkZomcc5N653uIjjbY/j4ZaHRvDg4yFZ3Oi+DCnVxHPB2SHjP6y6j2C4nu/WLsSbJZM1GtC95xjk7DxYbVtVQiJ9UU3lYpjNmzcXER03NzdRvJKKYcbExIjozJIlS5ArVy6VY1HbuXPnCiFF9eKGDh0q7KgSVOrEjbqinGRbEdmh6uUVK1YUxTi9vb01YsSNmIAmBFjcaELJQtvEJsbh2LPjaLuvk1kQ+KFCP/Qp3APbC+inaKe2EFjcaEssbftFA0qgSilX2FhnzY6xez/rUgexdzQrS2JfvAw816gvCpuZuHn9+rXYpiIh4uPjI6pz379/H8OHD8fDhw8xaNAgTJ06FaVLlxYRGSsr1ZXaL1++jJ07d2Ls2LGws8v4JmlVPj158iTVD6pOTn7cvHlTVBinz77//nv07t0brVq1wqFDh7B//34hpLjmlbHfVvmMz+JGPmsp+UwehD9E1T/8kJCUILltfRm81TEQL+Y8z7Tuk77GV7bL4iZrlO1srbB1clkU8DDvW4zv1/DQCkSx0290jtwcOHBAiJkhQ4YI4RIREYGAgADxc2RkpIjc0M+urq5qx3j37p2IpJD4IGGS2aNK3JBYuXr1qtjWIj/CwsKEUCLRFRsbixkzZoBydtzd3REVFYVJkyaJ8YoWLZrZcPw5E9CIAIsbjTBZXiMSNLU2f4lbYaZx5FvTFfAv0RIzqwZgs+tmTbvorR2Lm6yjLenpjHWjfc36BJUhxc2ePXtE3ozyU7BgQaxYsUL8as2aNRkmHkdHR4vITuPGjVGjRg2NFlCVuNm8OeW/P39/f/FVuU16PzhnRyPM3EhLAixutARmCc3pLpvBx0dg891tZjndIy33wfVIdhxtf9So/rO4kQZ/42oeGPGtF5wdzXN/6mknv9Sj35kRoaPhhVb9pbZZZttSFLkJDw9Hly5dPrKRPjcnfYPQ0FCRh1OhQgUhbtRtWaXvp0vkhqI29I9ygThyk9lbwZ/rQoDFjS7UZNwnKj4aG4I2YdjJUWY7yxr5q2Fzo/XYlHsT4iLijDYPFjfSoR/XqTAaVnGHg535CRy62yZs6VSNYHj0Hp/hnTeZiZsXL16IvBbaAvL19UVgYCAoaZe2mUi8qIvcvHr1SmwhtW/fHvXq1dNY2KSPyigSjrXNuTl37pyIKNnbm/cWpEaLzI0MQoDFjUEwm88gQW/voNoftczHYTWermiwFNVeVcbuz3cbbS4sbqRFv31KWXjmcZDWqIGs6fMouHJExtHRERcuXMDEiRMRFBSE6tWrY8KECSJ3JqPIzapVqzBlypQ0NOgOHTrVRI/Up6Uo94eSh2kbjcTU6NGjkTdvXgOtBg9jCQRY3FjCKms4x2Qkizyb66E3NOxhus0Ku3ohsP1Z7K2/Fy+OGKe4J4sbad+P0kVcsGqEj1nm32T1Ej9pSRrXWmbbY8b1jkeXCwEWN3JZySzOg+6zmXFhNpZc+zWLlkyn+6jKw9Ald0fsKGKco+EsbqR/Fzp+mRfdG+eHi6N53n9Dd95Q+QXF0XA6+k3lFzK620Z6isa1yOLGuPwtZXQWN5ay0pnM81zwBTTc3kxWNGytbRHU+RqCRt/G9fnXDT43Fjf6Qb5mdCmULuysH+NslQkwAVkQYHEji7QCHqYAACAASURBVGXM2iRoO6rqBj/cfXcva4ZMsHenUu0xvvxobM25xeDesbjRD/LiBZ2wYVxpqLl/Tj+DslUmwATMigCLG7NaLumdjYyLxOxL87HoyhLpjZuIxdPf/AVsTcbJnicN6hGLG/3h7vq/fKB/cijPoD9KbJkJWC4BFjeWu/Zi5nfe3hW3EMv5qedZByvrL8UGpw0GnSaLG/3i3h5QFp65zfP0lH7JsHUmwARY3FjwOxCdEC3qRp18/rfsKWxstA6l7/hg35f7DDZXFjf6RV2ttCtm9yoGJwfzu/tGv2TYOhNgAixuLPQdoDybbfd2ovuh3hZBwNfdByf9D2NX5V0IvRxqkDmzuNE/ZhI3dSq46X8gI49AVby7d++OK1eupHqSO3du9OrVCx07dhRFMJUfXU8kKfdLSkoSNxZ369YNb968ybR0g5ER8fBMIA0BFjcW+kIkJifik7WV8DIq2GIITPt8Mlo6fI2dvjsMMmcWN/rHTEU1d037RP8DGXkEEjd0y/D48eORM2dO4U1ISIi4oK9Hjx6oWLGi5B6qGlPyQdggE9ATARY3egJrymZpO2ph4M+YdXGeKbspuW/Z7bPjn06BuNjrIoJWBEluP71BFjd6RywG6Nu8INrVz2OWpRk0JaROaKxfv16ULKB6UHTrb0xMDKgtlVLYtWtXapHMixcvCmFEFcMbNmwovvfw8BC3FqvqN2jQICGmyAYV3qQbj48dO6bSXvPmzcXvqU4UFd4ke1TmgSp+0+8bNWqkVTkHTZlwOyaQEQEWNxb4foTHhsN7ZWkkJSdZ3Ox7ftIdQ31/wLbcW/U+dxY3ekcsBrC3s8bhOZ/C2Uwv9tOEkipx8+zZM1FHasCAAciePTtIkFBF79KlS+PRo0ep20ivX7/GmDFjhNCgMgxbt27FzZs3RV+qAaWuHwklRbRIeVtK2Z6Pj4+wR6Jp+PDhOHjwIG7cuIGBAweC6lVNmjRJCClPT09NpsltmIBkBFjcSIbSPAxFxr1HwPnpWHZ9hXk4rAcvA9udRcTycJwdelYP1v8zyeJGr3jTGG9fPy96Ns0vW4GjKuemaNGi6Nu3L5o1a4aHDx+KiElAQABcXV3T1JGiiMvVq1dFNIcqfYeFhYnCmiR2YmNj1fZTJ26o8jiJmSFDhgh7ERERYlz6mcZZtmyZEFyVKlUS9aP4YQLGIMDixhjUjThm6Ic3KLGqrBE9MP7QTYo2wk9+87DRZaNenWFxo1e8Hxk/Mq8ccrjYGnZQA42WWf5L+gRi5Z+pOCU9/v7+4qtyZXH6WblSuHI/deKG7I0cOTLNzGnrasWKFfDy8sLu3btFIjJVKG/Xrh369++PHDlyGIgUD8MEUgiwuLGgN4Eu7Jt0bhp+u7HKgmateqp7mm1FwQsFcLDFQb2xYHGjN7QqDbetmwd9vi4gy+hNVsRNZpEbbcUNRW7Cw8PRpUsXtQucnJyM4OBgzJgxA7Vr10aLFi0M+zLwaBZPgMWNBb0ClGtTZIWvTjP2yVkSP9aeg4p5KsDG2gYhUSGYen4W1t3egB1NN6FWoS/S2I1NjMO8ywvTJC1r2k4nB7XsVCFPeez/ege2ldyGyIeRWvbWrDmLG804Sdnq2ILyyOZknkU1M+KQFXGTWc5NRuKGcnUoNycqKio1wkMRGfodbW35+voiMDAQq1evFvk5hw4dwoMHD0TODT0zZ85EnTp14Ocn74tCpXyH2ZY0BFjcSMPR5K1ExUdj7uWFmH/5R518XV5/MSrl/QxjT0/E3Xf3MddvBvI450G7/Z1w792DVJvZ7LJh19cpdZya7WyN9/HvVY6naTudnNWw06La81A/ti52VdipYQ/tmrG40Y6XFK27NMwnqoY72svrYr+siBsnJydkdFpKnbihu3Moj2fv3r1CzChOSzk6OuLChQviBFVQUBCqV68ujqRTsrLyaSlqR8fUKcJD3/PDBAxJgMWNIWkbcSy618ZreUnQMXApntFVhqNz6Q4YdWo8tt37796YgBoT4V+iBUb9PSHN79OPqWk7KXxVZ4PE2fWOF3H8m2N4uPWh5EOxuJEcaaYGKWpDuTc21laZtuUGTIAJyJcAixv5rm3qzOg24rW31mPg8WGSzXae30zU9vQTNxxffpVya2pxN2/8/r/VuP/uAb7d31ntWJq2k8zZDAz9UKEf+nj1xPaC2yQfjsWN5Eg1Mji2Y2E0r5lLo7bciAkwAXkSYHEjz3VNM6vohA/4clsT3HxzS5LZtizeHAE1JmBD0EZMOTcj1eagigPQo2xXjDszBVvuqhcLmraTxFkNjNDFfs9nP8elSZc0aK15ExY3mrOSsmWJQk5YOcJXdltTUjJiW0xA7gRY3Mh9hQFcDLmMBtsaSzLT+l51Rb7N6Rdn0fvogDQ2KWE4p2NONN7RQm2uDXXQtJ0kDmtgxL9ES8ysGoDNrps1aK15ExY3mrOSuuWqkb4oW9RFarNsjwkwATMhwOLGTBZKVzfD4yIw6PhwbL+X9aTZjqXaYWCFvmLbqduh3mkETMU85bGiwVKcfPE3+v81WK27mrbTdb669jvSaj9cD2XD0Q5HdTXxUT8WN5Kh1NrQV5XdMaq9lyxPTmkNgzswAQskwOJG5oseFR+FQsuLZ3mWXct0wtgqI3HqxWn0PfrDR5GZ1iVaYmqNCVh8bZmoW6Xu0bRdlh3W0kCNAtWw6X/rsTn3JsRFxGnZW3VzFjeSYNTZyMkfK8DJQV6npnSGwR2ZgIURYHEj8wVfdWutiNxk9fmzxS5UyVc5jRk65j30xChsvLMFwysNRo9PumHM3xPEz4qnTcnWmPr5JKy4uRrTzs9S2y6r/knRf2WDpagaUhm7a+6WwhxY3EiCUWcjYzoURosvOLFYZ4DckQmYMQEWN2a8eJm5TjcSt97bDueDL2bWlD8HUNjVC1fan8Oe+nvw4siLLDNhcZNlhFky8Km3CxYNLAEXGRfUzBIg7swEZEyAxY2MFzc4KgSl1pSX8Qyln9roysPROVd77Cj63909uo7C4kZXctL12z/zU+R2s5POIFtiAkzALAiwuDGLZdLeyaTkJPx09RdMODNF+84W3MPO2hZBna/h9qjbuL7gepZIsLjJEj5JOvdvWRAdG+SDtamk3gROBR5sBt5cTZlfroqAtz9QPm0hSkkmz0aYgAUTYHEj08WnLamWe77FxRBp726RKa400+pUqj3Glx+NrTn/yx3SZd4sbnShJm2fMkVcsHiQCWxNhd8BDjQF6KuqJ0dJoOFugL6qeGbNmoWlS5d+9En58uVB9Z927NiBUaNGgUot6PJQoct9+/Zh+vTpCAsLQ/fu3dGnT59MyyYkJSXh5MmTmDdvHm7cuIGiRYuib9++aNasGah8Q/pq5br4xn2YgC4EWNzoQs0M+oTFhKHYyjJm4Klpunjmm2NI3pKEk71O6uwgixud0Una8dCccsiZ3VZSm1ob2+ijXtgojJGwaROUoekPHz4IAdKpUycUL571U5CKwW7fvi0EyqRJk+Dh4YGFCxeiVKlSaNKkiVp/SBBt3boVp06dEsIqb968CAkJEf7VrFkTrVq1wv3791MLbuoqvLRmzR2YAAAWNzJ9Df4I2vzRJXsynapeplXPqw5W1luKDU4bdLbP4kZndJJ2HN+5MJrVMOKpqSszgPOjNJtT5QCgwhi1bVWJm/TREeUimc2bNxfCw83NTURRqBBmTEwMqBDnkiVLkCuXai6nT58WomX48OGi7dChQ4UdZUFFQoYKZtK//Pnzp/p89+5dUR2cCmZSBfHFixeLz1euXCmKa86dOzfVjrqCnsoFON3d3cXYjRo1gpWVVZoioKrmlz17dmzfvl2MNW3aNJQpw/8nT7OXT16tWNzIaz3FbCLiItDn6A/Y+3C/DGdnuCltarQOpe74YN+X+3QalMWNTtgk7+RXzg2TuhZBdicbyW1rZHDbZ0DoZY2awqMc0CqlVpuqJzNx8/r1a7FNRWLAx8dHRFYoekIi5eHDhxg0aBCmTp2K0qVLi20jEgvpHxIW1Obzzz8XgkLdQ8KEtsNI3NjZqU7aJkFF21vkj5+fHzZt2iS2r6ii+MuXL1N9JSFCvt68eVNUID9y5IhoN3DgQLx69UpElMaPHw+KFmU0v379+omxKHKkPJY6/zRbFG5ljgRY3JjjqmXiMyUTF/6tJN7HR8lwdoabUil3H5zwP4ydlXbiTeAbrQe2ZHHT5+sCaF07D1ydbRARnYg/joRg2Z6XWDyoJKr4Zk/DMi4hGSv3v8Sve16m+f2wtp5oWiMXnOytEfI2Dot3PMe+c2Far4OjvTVOLaqgdT/JOizTskJ5j2Sdxc2BAweEmBkyZIgQLhEREQgICBA/R0ZGisgN/ezq6qpyjEuXLgkBVKBAAcyePRuenp5qfTl37hyOHz8uhJO6RxEtUoypHGU6duwYrl69ihEjRghfKddn7NixQpz8888/WLZsGQYMGIBKlSrB2dlZDEERGU3nx/k+kr3BZmmIxY1ZLlvGTt8K+wefb6wrw5kZfkrTP5+CFvZNsbOU9uUrLFXc0MV53Rvnx/rDr7DjVCjGdvBChRLZMWXtY5y+EZ66iM6ONvhlcEoCba95dxAdk5j6WZ0Kbhjs74nNx19jy/HXmNSlCPLmtEOn6bd1egnWjy0FH8+UP5AGfwwobvbs2YORI9OevCpYsCBWrFghpr1mzRqNEo+vXbuG5cuXiwgObfOoetRFbii6kpiYCFtb248SipUFB/lKj7+/v/iqHJXy8vLC7t27xdYZbW21a9cO/fv3x8GDBzWeH4sbg7/pJjUgixuTWo6sO5OMZMy/vAhTzk3PujG2AFf77LjVKRAXe11E0IqMkz3T47JUcTPte28UL+CILjOD0giW9HwG+RdCwyrumLvpGQ5eSBuR6dWsAFrXyo15m59h39k3GNepMKqXyYEJKx/iwu1Ird/Mnk0LoFuj/MY5Er61/H9HvzPznI6Gt1R/wjGzbSmK3ISHh4t8l/SPNn/sKc9m2LBhYguITkCpetTl3Dx58gSTJ08WwoiiRcqCStPIjSJiREIpODgYM2bMQO3atYUbms5Pm/lmtiz8ufkRYHFjfmuWocfhsRHodqgXjjz9S2YzM950en7SHUN9fsC2PFu1csJSxQ1FY2g7Kmd2O+TKYYe37xOw+kAw1h8OSeXnldcR8/oUw5NXsRj8872PuEodualayhUzenobJ++G7ra5MFazd6fK9AzvvMlM3FCUg3JWaHvH19cXgYGBWL16tRAboaGhaiM3ly9fxu+//y7a0ammK1euiJ8p10WxJZR+AsqnpWhrKV++fCI/hpJ4P/vsM3Ts2PGj01LKgkM5Pyh9zs3OnTvx4MEDkXNDz8yZM1GnTh1QFErT+bG40eyVk2srFjcyW9nE5EQUXVEKdM8NP9IRCGx3FhG/huPssLMaG7VUcbNpYhnkzmGH3/a9xLaToejXoiBqfpIDU9Y8So26dP1fPnxTOw8Wbn2GA+dV59GM71wEjaq6w9bGCu/eJ+DnHc+x/WSoxvyVG1LezYkfK8Bay/QXnQZT1UmPR8GV/4g7OjriwoULImE3KCgI1atXFwm/JB4y+mNP20i7du0SJ5lIdDRs2BCjR48Wx7vVnZaiaSr6/fzzzyJhObN7bjI62UVjUtIwHUVXPi1Fc+rRo4eIRjk4OGg8PxY3kr29ZmmIxY1ZLpt6p59EPkW5dVVkNivjT6eJdyMs+mIeNrls1NgZSxU368aUEknEfeanXFjXqJoHfmhdCOsOhWDNn8Hid5RYnMPFBt/PSZtro4BLNwt/WckdczY+xfGr7zCwVSHU/ywnpv/+JE3ejsaLAWBHQFkUyu2gTRfp2mbxEj/pHGFLTMAyCLC4kdk6b7u3A90O9ZbZrExjOnu+3oaC5/PjYIuDGjlkqeKGtpsoWZiShBXiZmCrgvhtXzA2/fUKpYu4YMb3RXExKBKT1zxWyXJh/+LI7+GAbybeTLUx2L+QSC7+ZZduRU0nf1dURIKM+tCdN1R+QXE0nI5+U/mFDO62Maq/PDgTMFMCLG7MdOFUuR2d8AETzkzG8hurZDQr05lKxTzlsffrHdhefBsiH2e+7Wep4qZLw3xoWzcPlu99KY5u07ZU1VLZMXHVI1x/ECWSiCmZmE5TKSI56VeZIjf1KuYUQoa2rShyQ/1m/fEEfwW+0+mlaOmXG4NaF4KTg6kUmtJpGtyJCTABDQiwuNEAkrk0CY+LQJu9HXEu+Ly5uGx2fi6qMx/1P9TGroq7MvXdUsUNgaE7appU94Czgw1Cw+OxZNcL7Po7JV/m+yb50aZOntSTUAqQtH2liM6sORiCUe28QInFDnbWiIxOwB9HX4m7cnR9PvF2waIBJZDNWJf56eo492MCTEBrAixutEZmuh3ikxJQbGVpTibW4xLldc6D6x0v4pj/MTzc9jDDkSxZ3OhxCXQ2TRGbYwvKw8ZoWcU6u84dmQAT0JIAixstgZlycy6WaZjVGVShP3p7fY/tBbezuDEMcslGMYkimpLNhg0xASagjgCLGxm9GxdDLqPBtsYympHpTuWfTlfwbNZTXJ6svmYQR25Mb/1+G+6DcsWymZ5j7BETYAKSEmBxIylO4xpb88/vGHhsiHGdsJDRvynZCjOqTMFm181qZ8zixvRehlHtvdDKL7fpOZaJRxndNZPVyZj6fTBRUVGiDEO3bt2QM2fOrE6X+1sIARY3Mlno2MRYTDo7FUuu/SqTGZn+NI62OoDsB11wtONRlc6yuDG9NaRTXHQSi5KUzemxZHFDc6ebk+mCPxY35vTWGtdXFjfG5S/Z6BFxEeh9dCD2PTwgmU02lDGBzwtUx8b/rcPm3JsQFxH3UWMWN6b3BvmVc8PkrkXM7sSUsrghqlTdmwpaUpVsun2YSh5QuQW6Ybh+/fqoWLGigH/ixAncuHEDvXv3BlX8JoFAVbWVbwNWRG6ouvfixYs16t+8eXNRgNPNzU3cfExFNkl4UKmHzz//XJRNWLhwIf7++2/07dsXvXr1go2NDajYpsKH9DZUzcnb21vclEy3JysKgBYvXtz0Xiz2yOQIsLgxuSXRzaGIuEg03dkK10Kv62aAe+lEYGWDZagaXAm7v9jN4kYngobtVNLTGcuGlDR7cdOvXz8hLmrWrIlNmzYJAUMlF86cOZMqZpKSkjBr1izUrVsX+fPnF0UwqU/6Ok5U6FJR3JJKNyjEkLr+Pj4+2Lp1qxBJJIio7EKfPn2E/WrVqokil/S76dNTivdSfSqqPUXiRuGDKhvq5vT+/XuO3Bj2PxNZjMbiRhbLCMQkxuCTtZUR+kG32jsywWDwaRRxLYzA9mexp94evDia9uZcjtwYfDkyHdAtmy32zvjErLelFJGbgIAAuLq6pqkZFRERIUQFRUfi4+NTvz937hyuXr0qRIaVlRXCwsJEcU0SO7GxsaniRl3/48ePCzEzZMgQ0Z/a0fj0M1X+pqiLwp/NmzeL+lQkeKjQJwmadu3a4enTpxrbUM4DiomJYXGT6ZvNDdITYHEjk3ciKTkJHr8UlMlszGsaY6qMQCf39tjhnfZoOIsb01zH80sqwtrM7rpJvy2liLRQBW9lIWBvb58arSHRQpGYwYMHY8uWLWIx/P39xVfl6uL0s8JeRv1HjhyZZkEV20TK/ckfEjeKsWgc2lZq27YtKEKkqQ0WN6b53445ecXixpxWKwNf38WGo+gKX5nMxrymYWdth6DO13B71D+4vuC/bUEWN6a5jkfnl4ers41pOqfGK03FDYkLyrM5ffo0aFupXr16qFq1Kvbv369R5EZdf8rtCQ8PF5W50z/pT1upEzcvXrzQ2AaLG7N6PU3SWRY3Jrks2jv1OOIJyq+vqn1H7iEJgc6lO2Dcp6Ow1T3l/yHTw+JGErSSG9k1tSwK5DJSdXAdZ6ONuAkJCcHQoUPFSJTU6+7uLqImmuTckLhR1Z+2pMaNGye2sihxOTAwUCQP0ymm0NDQ1MhPRpGbXLlyaWwjvbgh32l8yh3ihwloQoDFjSaUzKDNldfXUGfLV2bgqXxdPNPmGJI3J+Fkr5Msbkx4mdeNKQVfL2cT9vBj17QRN4mJiZg5cyZoi0mRI0MWlU8qqTotRfk3JE5U9U9OThZbXJS0HBQUhOrVq2PChAkiOVnTyE2VKlU0tqFskxKRKadn7969+PXXX8Gnpczq1TWasyxujIZe2oGPPTuBFrvbSGuUrWlFoL5XXayo9ws2OG1gcaMVOcM2XjKoJCr7ZjfsoDwaE2ACBiXA4saguPU32I77u9H1YA/9DcCWNSKwqdF6lAoqiX1f7eNtKY2IGb7RrF7FULeCm+EH5hGZABMwGAEWNwZDrd+BuPSCfvlqar2Uuy9O+B/Czko7UeTrIsC3Pug5N0jT7tzOAAQmdC6CpjU8DDASD8EEmICxCLC4MRZ5icddfHUZxpyeILFVNqcLgRk1p6C5XTM82/iUxY0uAPXcZ3hbT3xTJ4+eR2HzTIAJGJMAixtj0pdw7Ffvn+HZ+2DEJiUgLikB8UnxiE+KE1/jEulfHOKS4hBLX8W/WFA9Kvo5hr4mxIqvdBlgbEKM+P5Dwgd8SIxBTEJMyvfxMYhOiBY/JyFJQu/lZcrV3hW3OgUidN9rhJby4MiNiS3vgJYF0emrfCbmFbvDBJiAlARY3EhJ01i2kpOAZweBlycAazvAxh6wcUj5Z/3vV/qdtQOSrekz+t4OoO9Fe/reDrD696u17b8/28JKfG8DWNkCVjb/fm8DJCcDNC79QxKS//1efP33ZzphQZcLJpMU+vd7+jlR6V9CciISkhIRn5yI+KRExCUnphNo8YgncZZE4ixFpNHPCpEWmxT7r1CLQ0yCQrCliDT6+UPiByHc6CuJMyHSxL8Uoaavp9en32P4p4Px4KUtixt9QdbRbu9mBdCtMR8p1hEfd2MCZkGAxY1ZLFMmTibFA+dHA9fmGG42Qhxl9Z9CZKmxY+P4n0hLFWv2SBaiTSHS0gm1VJ/+FWjWtrAiYUYiTYizf7/S91ZW/wk0EmHJif+KtWQh1lL/kTz792eFSEtEikij36cINPqahHiKnCUniuhZ2dyfIi7eBrUGBBpuXXikTAn0aFoAPZqwuMkUFDdgAmZMgMWNGS9equuJscD5kcD1BXKYjWHnoJFAUxJhIsqlSpR9/LvkssMBe1d8M/UOHr6MMey8eDS1BFjc8MvBBORPgMWNHNY4MQY4NxK4sVAOs5HNHJLav0P02WOILl0LjSbel828zH0ivC1l7ivI/jOBzAmwuMmckem3IHFzfhRHbkxppXL4ILnFVTyo6wnPDWdx+HkOjF/5yJQ8tFhfjJlQPPfyQuy4tws33twS/D/N9QlaFG+GHyr0s9j14IkzAX0QYHGjD6qGtpkYB1ygnJu5hh6Zx1NH4LOJiHVuimfdGsCpYk3kn78FA5Y8xpmb4czMyASMcRT8/rsHaLO/I+irqqeYmzc2/m8t6KuqZ9asWVi6dOlHH5UvX17UjNqxYwcU5ROyivfly5eYPn06Jk2ahJw5c2Zojg4NnDlzBj///LMo70ClEho0aCBqW3l6embVldT+6Us8KD5QLkuRviyDuj6SOcWGTJoAixuTXh4NnUtOAC5OAAKnadiBm+mdQLMTeLvvLMKWzxBDufcaB5vGXVB3NG9P6Z19JgMY4xK/Shs+VytsFO6SsLn47d8Zev/hwwchPDp16qSXGktUV2r+/PlCsCxfvjxTcUPVwrdt2ybqTHl7e4PEzrFjx7BixQrMmTNHskKXLG6M/V+N+Y3P4sb81ky1x5cDgIvj5DIbs59HUutnCJk6GNFnDqfOpeDyQ7icVBwDFt01+/mZ8wQMXX5hQeBPmHR2qkbIxlYdiSEVB6ptq0rcpP/Dr1wgs3nz5iKi4+bmJgpcUgHKmJgYUMRjyZIloErdys+5c+dEFCg8PBxTp04V4kZddOTdu3ciajRo0KA0QosEzuHDh0X1cIreqCvYSeOq+4xs/PXXXxg/frxwr23btggODhbjUXFPVZGbYsWKZdhHHZekpCTs27cPCxYswMOHD+Hj4yOqnVeqVAnR0dGC2Zo1a0R1dWLZqFEjWNFJS35MmgCLG5NeHi2cu/kz8Dfv22tBTK9Nk7vG4lGTUkiKfJc6jn2JsvBc+RcC1j/FjlOheh2fjasnYOjCmbU2f4lrodc1WpKyHqVx8psjOoub169fCwFAf4Tpj/TWrVtx//59DB8+XPzhJiFCoqV06dJiC0n5jzSJFaom3qFDBxG1IWGR0bbUlStXsHHjRlEp3MHBQaXPT548SfWHKoiTPzdv3sS4ceNSxQr5mv4z6kcRqrFjxyJv3ryYO3cuwsLCMG3aNLXihhxQ1ycjLnfv3sW8efPENhyNRXO6dOmS4HT06FHcuHEDAwcOxKtXr0Qb4iLllptGLwY30poAixutkZloh/t/AEe+NVHnLMwt72+Q8Ok8PG7+6UcTz9H6e2TrNgo1h9+zMCimM911Y0rB18vZYA7lXKLdnTpve7/UWdwcOHBAiJkhQ4YI4RIREYGAgADxc2RkpIhC0M+urq5pxqBIybp16+Dh4YHq1auLyEVm4oaiPMePHxfCiR6K8HTv3h0keuiZMWMGsmXLhqtXr2LEiBHCHxIoJFhI0JBoUPcZRVko96dPnz7C1q1bt4R/JIrURW6uX7+utk9GXEjQKD80rz/++EMIqZMnT2LZsmUYMGCAiOQ4OxvuvTHYCyrTgVjcyGVhnx8B9taXy2zMex511uH9UxeEjO2mch755vyBx3kqodNs1cml5j150/d+19SyKJBLdaRBH94bUtzs2bMHI0eOTDONggULihwYemh7RVXi8Z07d8Qf9GHDholtK03EDQkQ2sKifBs7O7s0Y27evDnNz/7+/uJn5W21wMCUyy01+UyTnJv09pT7ZMSFtrMoekNbaSS4ji9+WAAAIABJREFULl++LAQeiRuKbu3evVts4b148QLt2rVD//79kSNHDn28KmxTQgIsbiSEaVRTYdeALeWM6gIPnkIgqcU/eLNiGSJ2rlaJxDZvQXiuP41fj0Tg1z3q/18689QPgaPzy8PV2UY/xlVY/WJTvdSj35kNSkfDj/sfVNsss5wbilBQvkyXLl0+spHR6SESI+pEUfpTSArDISEhYsuJIjxeXl4qxY0pRW7UcSFRNHv2bJGkTdt1jx8/FknSyltgFNminB+KRtWuXRstWrTIbCn5cyMTYHFj5AWQbPjol8C6ApKZY0O6E0hq9xbPezdF3P2Uu0xUPdm+ag2PoXPReOJ9vIlI0H0w7qk1gfNLKsLa2nAJoXS3TcC5lFNzmT0Tqo3J8M6bzMQNRRdo64a2fiihl/5wr169WkRiQkND1UZulP2i7SVNIjfUhyI39I8iPqVKlQKdtjp16pTIV6HtKvJBkQOkTc6NInmY+hYpUgSLFy/G06dPM8y5sbe3F2Op6pMRF0pcJuFHeTW0jTdlyhRx6ouEzN69e/HgwQPxGT2Uk1SnTh34+flltpT8uZEJsLgx8gJINjyVYPjNUTJzbEhHAjlKIrnlNTyolbnQzDPmJ7yr0AQtJt3RcTDupi0Bt2y22DvjEzjYWWvbNUvt9XkUXDki4+joiAsXLogk36CgILG9QttGJCw0vfclvbjJ6C4ZEgGUD0Pig0QCPfTHn3JlKApCeTa6npZSzIMER7du3URCdPotNWXfaHtJXZ+MuLx580aIOYp6Va5cWZzM2rVrl0hOpvwexWkpstGjRw8RFaPv+TFtAixuTHt9NPeOxM26/EDsW837cEvpCXw2AbEuX+PZd5nnP1k7OcNzwzns+McOM35/Ir0vbPEjAiU9nbFsSElkczLcthQ5kdVL/HgpmQAT0I4AixvteJlu67h3wO46wJuUkwr8GIlA0+N4e+A8wn6drpEDztXrI+/UVei28DGuP4jSqA830p2AXzk3TO5axODiRuEx3Xmz/d6u1KPhdPS7efFmGd5to/tsuScTsFwCLG7ksvYUsTnRDXi4XS4zMst5JLZ+ilfThiL69CGN/fcYEICk+u3x5Ri+3E9jaDo2bFs3D/q3LGjwbSkd3eVuTIAJ6EiAxY2O4EyuW0IMcGkCcHWWyblmSQ4ld4nB46/LIjE8TKtpF1p7CqfC82HEUj4erhU4LRuPau+FVn65tezFzZkAEzA3AixuzG3FMvL37nrgrw5ympF5zcW7NRLKLcTjrz/R2m/HMp+h4NIDGLX8EQ5d4rwprQFq2OG34T4oVyybhq25GRNgAuZKgMWNua6cKr/DbgBbtP/DKicERp1LnTV4/ywHQsZ01ckNt/b94dR+MPxG8PaUTgA16HRoTjnkzG6rQUtuwgSYgDkTYHFjzquX3vfED8BvfD24sZY0qcUtvFm5HBE7VunsQoGfd+Mf+5Lo8eNjnW1wR9UEnByscWxBedgY8I4bXgsmwASMQ4DFjXG462fU+Ehge2XgXZB+7LPVDAmIy/v6fo24uzd0JmXnWQyea09iwc7XWH84RGc73PFjAp94u2DRgBJGOynFa8IEmIDhCLC4MRxr/Y9Ex8FP9gLub9T/WDxCWgI5iiO55U08qKVdkURVGF2bdkCOfgGoNfIe4hOSmLREBFr65cag1oVAERx+mAATkDcBFjdyW9/rC4Azg+Q2K9OfT8VxiM3WEs++qyeJr3mnrUJIUT+0mcbVwyUBCmDyd0XRqKq7VOZ0shM4NRAPNj/Am6tvRP9cFXPB298b5UeW18ked2ICTEA1ARY3cnszwq4DWz6V26xMfz5Nj+Htn5cQtmyqJL7a5HCH5+9n8PuFRCzc+kwSm5ZuZEdAWRTKbbhq4Mq8w++E40DTA6Cvqp4cJXOg4e6GoK+qnlmzZmHp0qUffVS+fHlRS4nqO6mq9q3NmlNVcLKleHr27CnqQ6l7qPRB9+7dceVK2otDmzVr9lENKG38ULRVZ19R5VxdQc+oqChRxZtKNuTMmVOXobmPDAiwuJHBIqadQjKw3BFIipPdzEx5QomtnuDVjBGI/vtPydx0qdUYucf/gjbTH+JRSIxkdi3RkKO9NU78WAHGyiXe6LNRrbBRrAcJmzZBbTJcHlWFM6VYT6oRRQKqXr16qFSpkkYmtSmwqZHBdI10ta9rP1185D6mS4DFjemujW6e0U3Fh/2B50d068+9dCKQ3OUDHjcvh8R3oTr1V9cp19DZiK3eEo0m3pfUrqUZq1rKFTN6eiO7gWtKEecrM67g/KjzGiGvHFAZFcZUUNs2s6rgVOhRuVBl8+bNRUTHzc1NFM6kIpAxMTEgAUDRjVy5comxoqOjhbihaIenp2ea8dUVzsxIRKQv0qn88/Pnz4Uf2bNnx/bt20VRz2nTpqFMmTIfjZtRdXLqm5CQgNatWyM+Ph5z5sxBw4YNsXbtWlH4kiI8VECUolqKOf/88884f/48FixYIApx+vj4iKKZJOiIgaJIpru7u+DWqFEjUfyTH/MjwOLG/NYsY48pYnNlJnBxvNxmZrrzKdoKCeUXiZuJJX+srOD5xzkceuaGCaseSW7eUgz2bFoA3Rrlh7URcom3fbYNoZc1E70e5TzQ6korncXN69evxdYS/WGmP9xbt27F/fv3xfYS/TEfNGgQpk6dKip229jYpP7hDgkJwciRI4VIoG2mWrVqYfTo0UIgqHuyIm769esnfKxZsyY2bdqEGzduCCFiZ2eXOlxmERgSI3PnzhVVvJ89eyb+dejQAe/evROCZfz48aCK38pzvnv3LubPn49JkyYhb9682LhxIy5duiSYHD16VPgxcOBAvHr1SrQhG+nFnqX8N2Pu82RxY+4rqMp/zrsx7KrWXo2oFzkRPLqLXsZ1qvA58i/YggGLH+PMrQi9jCF3o7+PLQWqCG6MZ5nVMq2G7ZHcQ2dxc+DAASFmhgwZIoRLREQEAgICxM+RkZEiMkE/u7q6phnj1q1bmD17NmbMmCH+6D969Ajr1q0T/SgapOpRlRNDOUDLly8XomLNmjWpeUCqIjcKP9JHeRRjaZLTc+fOHfz0009wcXHBiBEjRIRKWRSRH+rmTOOcO3cOlGtEkaOTJ09i2bJlGDBggIjkODsb533R6mXhxmoJsLiR48uRlACsywfEpJzI4Ee/BJKa38Cb1SsRsX2l3gZy7zkWNo27ou4Y3p7SFjLl25xapH6rR1t72rY3pLjZs2ePiMAoP4oEXPqdsuDIaB4kEIYNGyaiQEWLFlUrbtRtG2W2LaVO+CgLqcwiN+QURZoowkLJxV26pPyfi/TiRnksyi2i6M3hw4dFlOby5cuoXr26EDcUydq9e7fYrnvx4gXatWuH/v37I0cO1Une2r4H3N6wBFjcGJa3YUaLfQf83Q+4t94w41n4KEnfhuFF/5aIvXNNryQK/noQl5KLY+AiPh6uDWi/cm6Y1LWIUfJtyM+t5bemHv3OzG86Gt7yUku1zTLLuaHITXh4eOofemVD6iIkqgYjgUBbMmPHjhWRHHVtMhI3K1euFOKIIiAUGaJI0Lhx40A5N1KJm9OnT+PMmTMgLp06dYKXl1eG4iYwMFBEqKgtbc09fvwY27ZtS3O6iwRQcHCwiGLVrl0bLVq0yGzZ+HMTJMDixgQXRRKXHu8E/mwuiSk2kgEBV28kt76NB3759I7JvlhpeK45joB1T7HjlGY5HHp3ygwGGN+5MJrVSEmcNcZDd9tcGHtBo6GrTK+S4Z03mYkbijiQgCBR4uvrC/pjvnr1apGDEhoaqjZyQxEMys+hfhQ9ITHy559/ii0aimhoK26ePn0q8nzIF29vbyxevBj0O4qQSCVuaMuJ8mcouvL+/XshUihfho6Ck6iisel7ZSFFScgk8qgdbdlNmTIFJGZIyOzduxcPHjwQn9Ezc+ZM1KlTB35+fhqtHTcyLQIsbkxrPaTzJjEG+E31Xrl0g7AlVBiLWNfWeNa1rkFg5GjVHdm6jUbNERy90RS4KRTL1OdRcOWIjKOjIy5cuCCSc4OCgsSWy4QJE8SJpIwiN4mJieKEESXohoWF4dtvvxWiQZHDMnToUJE/o3y3TEbbRiQY9u3bJ8QDRW6+++47UH4M2dBG3Ki6R4fWff369WJbqWTJkkJ80HgUGfLw8ED9+vVFng2JFRI4x44dS839IUFEQo8iXJUrVxbJyDTv6dOnC1GnOC1FHHv06CEiYPQ9P+ZHgMWN+a2ZZh7TkfBjXYDHuzRrz610I9DkL7w9HIiwXwJ0669Dr3yzN+BxnsroNOeBDr0tq0uZIi5YPKgEXBxVRx8MRSOrl/gZyk8ehwnIhQCLG7mspKp5PNwCHPKX8wyNPrfEVo/xeuYoRJ06YDBfbHMXgOeGM/j1cAR+3fvSYOOa40D9WxZExwb5jHIEXBUvuvOGyi8ojobT0W8qv5DR3TbmyJ19ZgLGJsDixtgroM/xk+KBFS4AfeVHLwSSO3/A41YVkBj2Si/21RnN1qAVPIbNQ6NJ9xEWkWDQsc1psP0zP0Vut//uTjEn39lXJsAEdCfA4kZ3dqbfk05NnR4A3F1r+r6ao4dFWiCx0i941KSUUbzPM/pHvKvYDC0m3THK+KY+6KfeLlg00PhbUqbOif1jAnIkwOJGjquqPKeQM8DOGnKfpXHmV3slol7mQvCozkYZ38rBCV4bz2PHP3aY8fsTo/hgyoOO6VAYLb4w3ikpU2bDvjEBuRNgcSP3FU78AGwpD4Tz/7uXeqmTW/+DNytWIHzbb1Kb1tiec9W6yDt9Nb5b8AQ3HkZp3M8SGp78sQKcHIxQb8ES4PIcmYCJE2BxY+ILlGX3EmOB6/OB86OybIoNpCWQ9O0bvBjoj9jbV4yKxqP/FCTV74Avx941qh+mNPhXld0xqr0XshmhUKYpcWBfmIClEmBxYwkrHxcOrHKzhJkabo7ZiyL5mzt48IXq21sN50jKSIXWnsKpd/kwYhkfDyceq0b6omxRF0MvA4/HBJiAiRBgcWMiC6FXNyix+OxgIEh/tY/06r8pGq8wBrE5vsGzLnVMwjuH0hVRaNkBjFz+GIcvvTUJn4zlRIlCTlg5whdUU4ofJsAELJMAixtLWfd3t4FNxjnVI0vETY7i3ZGreLNkislMz+3bvnDsOBS1Rlj29tTYjoXRvCYnEpvMi8mOMAEjEGBxYwToRhmStqaOfAs83W+U4eU2aJL/M7yaORJRJ/aZ1NQK/Lwb/9iXRI8fH5uUX4ZyhnJsjswrBxtrK0MNyeMwASZgggRY3JjgoujNpeC/gV019Wbekgwnd47GY/9KSAwNNqlp2xUqCs91f2PeztfYcDjEpHwzhDNdGuZD98b5eUvKELB5DCZgwgRY3Jjw4kjuWnwksL8xEHxSOtN22YG66wHPrwBrOyDsRsrFgS+OpYxROQAo3QdwyAlQvasbC4FLk9KO3/gwULBe2t/RKa/AacDlydL5KpWlIs2RWHkZHjX2lcqipHayN2kHt/7T4Df8DhKSJDVt8saOLSjPJ6RMfpXYQSagfwIsbvTP2LRGeH4E2FtfOp+qzAB8vwMuBwCvzgO1fgMiHwIHmgC+3wMVx6UcRb+9HPBbBuT3A453V789RmKpydEU//bUBUiQmdpDl/cF50bwyE6m5lmqP3mnrkKwtx/aTrOc6uFt6+ZBn68LwNnIRTJN9qVgx5iABRFgcWNBiy2mGv8eONAIeClh9EaZYe1VQO7KwOYyQL0/APeywI7qmouUanOB4u2AM4OA+3+Y5Ookt7qFN6tXIXzLcpP0j5yydnWD14ZzWH8+AT9ue26yfkrpGOXa5HCxldIk22ICTMBMCbC4MdOFy5LbwaeAXV9kyYTKzoW+Ar5YkrI19WezlAgMbUc55QGc8wMfXgNXZwLX5qkeO0dJ4KudQPjdlP4m+iS1fYMXg9sg9tZlE/UwxS0Xv0bIPWEpvpn+EI9DYkza16w6175+XvRsmp+jNlkFyf2ZgEwIsLiRyUJqNY24CODot8ATCU/6fPEL4NMVSPiQkitzdRbgfxNwKZCyZfXPMqDKdMCrMXC8G/Di360nZcfLjwLK9gPODgPu/a7VlAzWOHsR4Jt7uP9FHoMNmZWBcg2djQ8126DJuNtZMWPSfe3trHF4zqcsbEx6ldg5JmBYAixuDMvbdEZ7exPYXFZ6f2r8CHi3Bk71BSqOTUkiVuT4lOgIVJsDXJubIn7SP5RY7OAO7K6l+TaW9DPI2GKF0Yhza4unnWsbemSdx/PceAEHn+XAxFWPdLZhyh37Ni+IdvXzwMGOL+0z5XVi35iAIQmwuDEkbVMaK+4dcGYIELRCWq9IwFSfB9xYBOT+DKAEYUoMpoc+qzoLCJwK3Pwp7biUp1N/I/Dir5TIjqk+TY7g3dEbeLM43YkvU/UXgGP56iiwcBv6L36Ms7ciTNhT7V0r4GGPXdM+0b4j92ACTEDWBFjcyHp5M5lcbBiwNh+QFK87hZpLgMJNgBM9AMrloa2nws2Akz0Bj3JA2QHA5SnA3XUpnxWsDxzrArw6m3ZMSiKmZGI6WaUqqqO7h5L2TPJ/ilezxiDq+B5J7erbmHuPMbBp8h3qjrmv76EMan92r2KoU4HrphkUOg/GBMyAAIsbM1gkvbmYEAXcXAKcG6b7EDlLA9XnAwVqp9xzE/0yJcfm1pIUm7RNVbIzYJ895bML41KiRYoID7W7OB6oOB4o2x84Mxi4u1Z3f/TcM7lTFJ60qYqE1y/0PJL05gv+ehAXk4rjh5/kcTy8WmlXkLhxcuDtKOnfFrbIBMybAIsb816/rHtPUZvtlYE3V7NuS+4WCn+NxCrL8aixj1nO1N67FDzXnsTktU+w6+9Qs5yDstPbA8rCM7eD2c+DJ8AEmID0BFjcSM/U/CyGnAF21jA/vw3tca0ViHqVF8EjOhp6ZMnGy9HyO2TrOQE1hwZJZtMYhrr+Lx/on7ODjTGG5zGZABMwcQIsbkx8gQziHhXVPDc85bg2P2oJJLe6iTdr1iJ8s3lzyjdnAx7lroTOcx6a5WoXL+iEDeNKw4prY5rl+rHTTMAQBFjcGIKyOYyRGANs8E7Ji+FHJYGktqF4OaQdYm5eNGtCtrnywfOP81h2OBzL95rfeq8ZXQqlCzub9Rqw80yACeiXAIsb/fI1I+vJKZf6UU0ofj4mkM0LaPsw5fK+5GSzJ5Stfgt4DJ+P/014gLfvE8xmPh2/zCuqfrtw/SizWTN2lAkYgwCLG2NQN9UxaXvq9A/AnVWm6qHx/Co/CnHu7fC0Uy3j+SDxyHnGLMK78k3RYvIdiS3rx1zpIi5YNcIH1ta8H6UfwmyVCciHAIsb+aylNDOh7amNvsD7x9LYk4uVxofw7tg/ePPzRLnMCFb2DvDafAnbb9pi5oYnJj+v7VPKwjMPn44y+YViB5mACRBgcWMCi2ByLlDF8N1+JueWMR1K8n+C13PG4/1fu4zphuRjO1epg7wz16HrvEe4+ShKcvtSGRzXqTAaVnHnEgtSAWU7TEDmBFjcyHyBdZoebU9dmQ5cmalTdzl2Epf3fVsdCSHPZDc9j/5TkFS/A74ce9ck59a4mgdGtPOCM1/WZ5Lrw04xAVMkwOLGFFfFFHxKjAX2N1JdvdsU/DOkD4WbIbHqCjxqVNKQoxp0rELr/sbJt3kxctkDg46b2WAlPZ2xbrQv59lkBoo/ZwJMIA0BFjf8Qqgn8OEVsMk3pbK3JT+1fkPU6/wIHt5BthQcfMuj0PKDGPHrYxy5bBrrbWdrha2Ty4KKY/LDBJgAE9CGAIsbbWhZWtvkJODlMWBPPUubeZr5Jre8gTfrf0f4xl9kzcHt275w7DAUtUaaxvbUogElUKWUK2y4dJSs3zueHBPQBwEWN/qgKiebcRHArcXA+VFympVWc0lq8xovh3dEzPXzWvUzx8YFFu/BDcey6D3fuMfDf2hdCC39cnF5BXN8idhnJmACBFjcmMAimLwL8e+Bv/sCd9aYvKuSO+jiCbR7hAd++ZCcmCi5eVMzaFegCDw3nMG87SHYcOSVUdxr6ZcbJG44gdgo+HlQJiALAixuZLGMhphEMrC7NvDyhCEGM50xyo9AnEdHPO1oOUfjszduB7cB01Bz+B0kJRl2KWqVc8OMHt6gfBt+mAATYAK6EmBxoys5S+wX9w7YVgmIuG85s6fL+04E4c2i8ZYzZwB5p61CcBE/tJ1+z2Dz/rRYNiwfWpJPRhmMOA/EBORLgMWNfNdWPzMjYbO1AhAfqR/7JmY1qfVjvJ4/Ce+P7DAxz/TrjnW2HPDadAHrzsVj0bbn+h0MgHd+J6wa5ctbUXonzQMwAcsgwOLGMtZZulnSCarQi8D2qtLZNGFLyR3f40mHmkh4afrlCaTG6PLF/5B74jK0nv4QT0NipDafai+/hz3Wji4Ft2y2ehuDDTMBJmBZBFjcWNZ6SzPbhBgg+ASw7ytp7JmqlcJNkFhtFR79T76X92WGPtfQ2fhQsw2ajLudWVOdPs+Vw04Im9xudjr1505MgAkwAVUEWNzwe6EbATpB9fwQcLClbv3NoZffckS9KYTgYe3MwVu9+ei18QIOPM2BSasfSTpGuWLZMLV7UeRz50v6JAXLxpgAEwCLG34JdCdAeTdP9gNH2uhuw4R7Jre4jrA/NuLdhsUm7KX+XXMsVw0FftyOvj8/wvl/pMm1oq2oX4f6sLDR//LxCEzAIgmwuLHIZZdw0iRwnh4ADn8joVHTMJXU5hVejuyCmKtnTcMhI3rh3nMsbBp3Rd0xWT8pR5Ga5cNY2BhxOXloJiB7AixuZL/EBpggCZwXfwF/fm2AwQw0hEtBoN1TPKiVH8kJ8QYa1LSHKbj8EC4mFsMPP+l+PDxvTnusGOED+soPE2ACTEBfBFjc6IuspdlNiAJeXQD21gPoRJW5P+WHI86jM552/ELSmdgX9UHukQvgULoirP7f3p0HR1nfcRz/7GZzH4QECDdUAaFQoYXicGgBUQ5LLSgzQgGLSlvbiqVtYLBFq6WILVCw1hlwHEfAo8WjB4qljkNHoDPOCAg6qYBJTDBcIYZkk0327DybSo0mMcnus9n98c6/+zy/4/X9ZuYzu8/hTJL/wllVbVun2t3PqK3PWlqEMyNLvR9uemp0xb32X/uU8qXhGrBzvx7cUaa/H6jssIt10fB26+Lhblw83GE8TkAAgQ4JEG46xMXBbQoEvFJ1kfTKDVLD+cTGmr1XFw+cVOWWX0Z1HwUPblPqyHG68Ic18pWdlHU3kiu/QKdXLlTenata/cxX1vznICsIWeemj5koz9tvqmL53Kius7XBut1yp7KW3a/Jhe93aD7rrqhn14xQXjbBpkNwHIwAAp0SINx0io2T2hSo+0jaM1uqOpqwUMFbS3V+81q5X3/J1j3kLVutnJtvV+Xm+z43V1uf9X96n5xpmQrUfKyQpy5m4cbC6L3heZX0GKvvbixpl01+TrJ2/erLysnkOTbtAuMgBBCIWIBwEzEhA7QoEGiQ/jlfKtudkEDBxW6dWnydfBXRvf35sxg9CzcoffwUnb1/mRqLDjf7uK3P0kZPkPfEMfVevyN8Tqy+ubHmSsovCD+9eOveaj356pk26zt2WLYeXzFUSU7eFZWQ/wgsGoEEFSDcJGjhEmLZgUbprVXSsS0JsdxLixx4kwITtqt01lBb1501fZ7y73lIta8+r6qta5vN1dZnnz7QukU71uHGmi/rhnnKL9ykmQ8Uq9rtb9FpzZJB+tbEHnKQa2ztIwZHAIHPCxBu6Ap7BbwXm769eWORvfNEc/Trtqm+arBO//y2aI7abKyMCdPV03r675F/69yvf9juzz67oK4KN9Y6ev3iMX085pua99DxZssaPjAj/HC+QQVptvkxMAIIINCWAOGG/rBfwO+R3GXS6/OlqmP2zxfhDKG576jqTy+q+tnHIhyp5dNz5ixS7qJ75Ss/Gf45KljvvnRgW5+1NFpXhhtHcooGvnBIL73n0m+fa3r31sLpBVoxv7/4ssaW1mFQBBBopwDhpp1QHBYFgVBI2v8DqWhbFAazbwjr4X1nVt8hz5GDUZ8kZ+5S5X3vPjUcPqBza3/cPNi08VlrC+nKcGOtKWP8VBWs36GVT1Xotmm9ZH1rk5WeFHU3BkQAAQQ6IkC46YgWx0YuYP1MVbFP2rdE8tZEPl60R8joIy2qUPGUvgp5G6M9uvpt3aO0r4xvNq71zU3lhkJZwae1z6wT8pevVc3LT6nqiYcvnd/V4cZaSJ9Nu5Q+9lo5krnNO+oNw4AIINApAcJNp9g4KSKBoF+ynmr85vel4l0RDRX1k0cXytvrDpV/Z1LUhzZtQGd2rnqteVzpX5ssZ0amadtjPwggkMAChJsELl7CL91XI5X/Q9p/t9RwIT62M/s1XTxYGn7uDH+tC2TNmK+eKzfKmU6ooU8QQCD+BAg38VeTy2tFIb9k3TJ+cIX0nye6fO/hh/c9uk7uvS90+VricQHJ/QarR+FGpV99jRxp6fG4RNaEAAIIiHBDE8SHgHUtTs0H0sHl0pkDXbam0BK3ypdMke9UcZetIV4nzrtrlbovLRQPronXCrEuBBD4RIBwQy/El4C/Xir9q/TWasn9YWzXNmCWgpOeUcnMIbGdN85ny5wyRz1+sk5JOblypGXE+WpZHgIIICC+uaEJ4lEgJFlPSnnnd9Lh30jWtzqx+Lt2qzx1V6liuf1v2I7FdiKdI23UuPAdWqlDR8mRyk9QkXpyPgIIxE6Ab25iZ81MHRWw3k9lhZwj66WjG5vusLLxL/zwvl0vq3rnozbOEv9DW28cz7v7AWVcM1XWg/r4QwABBBJNgHCTaBW7HNdr/VTlSJKObZbe3SLVn7ZFIbigsunhfYf22zJ+vA+aMnhY+JqazKlz5HDxzJp4rxfrQwCB1gUIN3RH4ghYd1UlpUgndkrHfi8aMVUYAAAGMElEQVRVNn+LdkQb+eThfdP6K9TgiWioRDs5dfiYcKjJmHA9oSbRisd6EUCgRQHCDY2RmAL+OqnqXenoJqn4z5Hv4eqfydt7mcoXTox8rAQZIWPijep++wqlXjVGjhR+fkqQsrFMBBBohwDhph1IHBLHAtbFxtY7q95/Ujr+dOdfzDlrj2oOndX5R34ax5uNfGnOrBxlz16g3IU/UlJOHs+qiZyUERBAIA4FCDdxWBSW1AmBUECyLkCu/bDpYYAlL0ru8nYPFLylRJV/fES1r0XhW6B2zxq7A60XXObcepcyJ81QKODn56fY0TMTAgh0gQDhpgvQmdJmAesnK4dLqi6Sjm+XynZLF0+0OWlosVvlS6fJV3bS5sXFbvi0keOUfdMCZU67OfyaBO58ip09MyGAQNcKEG661p/Z7Raw7rSy/jznpNK/SGWvSBVvSKHg/2ceMFPByc+pZMaVdq/G9vHTv/4NZU2fF/6Gxno9gjMjy/Y5mQABBBCINwHCTbxVhPXYK2Bdo5OcJVW+LZX+TTqzXxqyUJ76Eaq459v2zm3D6ClXDFf6Vycp6/q5Sh05TqGAT06eImyDNEMigEAiCRBuEqlarDW6AkGfZH2zk9JNwZpquf+1W77yD8LPufGefE8hb2N054twNGdOrlKHjVbqiDHKnHijUoaOCr/niTdzRwjL6QggYJwA4ca4krKhSARCnjqF/H45s7spcOFc+BqcxuIiNRYdlq+iVP7T5fKfPRXJFF94rqtXX7n6DlJy/yuUMvBKpY2eoOSBQ+TMzFbI5yXMfKEgByCAwOUuQLi53DuA/bdbIOipkyPJJUdKqoJ1tQpUnlGg9qKCdTUK1bnl/ahYweoLCjZ4FPI2KOTzScFA0/gOpxwulxzJqU3XwqRnyrot21XQT66efeXMzpWrZ5+mABPwK9TYIEdamhwunj/T7gJxIAIIIPA/AcINrYCAjQIhT72CDfVK6t7DxlkYGgEEEEDg0wKEG/oBAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAKEG3oAAQQQQAABBIwSINwYVU42gwACCCCAAAL/BeTvEvwvcO4HAAAAAElFTkSuQmCC" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="400" /></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Figure 3: Tier Classification of time. All units are hours per week.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You can see the brief descriptions, but here are the top things in each tier (bold = more than 4 hours/week):</span><br />
<div>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Non-negotiables: <b>Sleep</b>, <b>e-mail</b>, cleanliness, walking, food, laundry.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Top Priorities: <b>Grace</b>, <b>exercise</b>, <b>research</b>, bible study/prayer, church.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Chosen Involvement: <b>reading group</b>, <b>blog posts</b>, <b>AoPS</b>, <b>church community group</b>, <b>Graduate Christian Fellowship (GCF) large group</b>, GCF large group planning, my dorm, this time audit.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Good Ideas: <b>vacation (the camping trip)</b>, keeping in touch, meals with friends, hosting visitors, concerts/ceremonies, seminars.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Fun Extras: <b>Facebook / internet</b>, baseball, games, Feedly.</span></li>
</ol>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Finally, I'm not bothering to compare the first week to the second week, or do any sort of time series analysis like that. Instead, I'm taking this to be a two-week snapshot of my life.</span></div>
</div>
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Discussion</span></h2>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In the introduction, I hinted that I wanted to spend more time on something, and by now, it should be obvious that I need to spend more time on research. I averaged less than 20 hours a week doing any math-related work, and that is simply far too low. I'd like to increase that by another 20 hours at a minimum.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But before getting to where all of that time is going, let me share some positive observations:</span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My lifestyle is pretty healthy. I averaged 54 hr/wk (7.7 hr/night) sleeping and over 5 hr/wk playing frisbee (not including sports played while camping).</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Spiritually, my habits of daily bible study and prayer are strong (20 min/day average).</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I spend a lot of time talking to Grace (over 1 hr/day), and as a result our relationship is in a good place.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm able to stay in contact with many friends, and managed to plan a decent number of meals with them (2.8 hr/wk).</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Baseball season is in full swing, but the total time I spend on it (2.7 hr/wk) amounts to less than one game length per week.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Despite it counting as non-negotiable, I only spent 1.1 hr/wk on food, thanks to nearly all of my meals having another purpose.</span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now, where is the fat to trim from all of this? I'm estimating these differences relative to another typical week during the year.</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Most obviously in the snapshot above, I spent almost an hour per day on <b>Facebook and other internet reading</b> (6.8 hr/wk). That is a lot. This time isn't all "wasted" -- many friends post interesting articles on Facebook that I like to read. Some even give me ideas for future blog entries. But an hour per day is a lot, and I would do better to reduce that to around 2 hours per week. Let's say I get <b>5 hr/wk</b> out of this.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The <b>Special category</b> was unusually high at 13.6 hr/wk. The camping trip features prominently, and it's tempting to just say that I can typically get those <b>9 hr/wk</b> back. Here's how I'll justify it: I probably had enough special occasions these two weeks to span around six typical weeks, so I should be able to save about 2/3 of that time in a typical week.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My official responsibilities in <b>my dorm</b> (Sidney-Pacific) are ending now; the 2.4 hr/wk here included my last house meeting and a transition brunch to the new government. Let's say I bring that down by <b>2 hr/wk</b>.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Of course, I won't be <b>auditing my time</b> every week, so I get <b>2 hr/wk</b> back from that.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I attended more <b>seminars</b> than usual in this time (with the Simons Lectures in the math department), so say I get back <b>1 hr/wk</b> out of the 2.6 hr/wk I spent this week.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As I find more people to delegate to, <b>planning GCF large groups</b> will reduce from about 2.7 hr/wk by around <b>1 hr/wk</b>.</span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Collectively, those get me my required 20 extra hours to spend on research. Notably, all but the Facebook hours are sort of "automatic"; I don't have to think about not spending time on my dorm since it's out of my hands now.</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Of course, the natural problem is that just as I whack these moles down, some other things are going to go up in time. For instance, without going camping, I wouldn't miss church Sunday morning, so that's another two hours (1 hr/wk) that comes back. My games group was also basically inactive during that time, so I'll probably add another 3 hr/wk when that comes back.</span></div>
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Further Discussion</span></h2>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Where is all of my time going, then? If I probably can't reliably spend even 40 hours per week on research, where does it all go? Here's Tier 3 again:</span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Reading group: 10.0</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Blog: 4.4</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">AoPS teaching: 4.4</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Church Community Group: 4.2</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">GCF Large Group: 4.0</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Large Group Planning: 2.7 -> 1.7</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Sidney-Pacific: 2.4 -> 0.4</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Time Audit: 2.0 -> 0</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Misc Christian Responsibilities: 1.2</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">AD: The Bible Continues: 1.1</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">GCF Prayer: 0.3</span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After the reading group (which counted as research-related), the heavy hitters are the next four, which apart from this blog are my Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday evening activities. And I'm pretty committed to all four of them. It's the middle three that I'm seeking to reduce.</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And here's everything in Tier 4 with more than 1 hr/wk:</span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Vacation/retreat: 9.1 -> 3.1</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Keeping in touch: 3.6</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Meals with friends: 2.8</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Hosting visitors: 2.8 -> 0.8</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Concerts/ceremonies: 2.8 -> 0.8</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Seminars: 2.6 -> 1.6</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Department socialization: 1.5</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Remainder (mainly misc tasks): 2.5</span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Of course, the main fat to be trimmed here comes from that special section. The rest of this category consists mainly of friendships I actively try to maintain.</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here's a simpler way to look at it, on a per-day basis. I'll start with my daily activities:</span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tier 1: 10 hours (sleep, clean, e-mail)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tier 2: 2 hours (Grace, exercise, bible study)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tier 4: 1 hour (catching up, meals with friends)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tier 5: 1 hour (Facebook, baseball)</span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After that, I have 10 hours per day left, for a maximum of 70 hours to spend on work and/or activities. If I spend 6 hours per day on research to reach 42 hours per week, that leaves four hours remaining per day. Here's what fills those four hours:</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Monday: Blog-writing (ahem, ideally)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tuesday: Large Group Planning and other tasks</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wednesday: Community Group</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thursday: Art of Problem Solving</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Friday: GCF Large Group</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Saturday: Special occasions</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sunday: Church, AD: The Bible Continues</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Of course, these estimates are on average; I can easily spend more time on research on Tuesdays and spread the tasks throughout the week.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Finally, I do need to think about how to avoid being on Facebook for an hour per day, getting that down to around 20 minutes per day. I've previously tried to use the Chrome extension <a href="http://www.stayfocusd.com/">StayFocusd</a> to limit my time, but too easily found ways around it. A decent portion of the time I spend on Facebook is on my phone, for instance.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What's different now? Of course, the moral force of this public commitment will count for something, I think. In addition, I also noticed that I would often spend this time mindlessly browsing the web when I was relatively brain-dead, i.e. in the morning before I went in (or got out of bed), or late at night.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The week since then has suggested some solutions to me. With activities starting before 10am four of the last five days, I've seen the benefits to having something in the morning to go to. I've also tried to get myself to work in the mornings, but too often fall asleep while reading a paper. My next step will be to not read a paper, but instead work at a white board in the mornings, and make sure to go to bed as soon as I finish my to-do list at night.</span><br />
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Conclusions</span></h2>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I set out to measure my expenditures of time in order to try to find ways to spend more time doing math, trying to increase my typical 20 hours per week to around double that amount. Given some of the particulars of the two-week period which I measured, I was able to find that time, mainly by natural decreases but also calling for a substantial reduction of around 5 hours per week in the time I spend on Facebook and other internet distractions.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This exercise has mainly increased my literacy and understanding of how much time various activities will cost, and where that time will come from. My continued time commitments in terms of hours per week cluster like this:</span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Large (~8 hr/wk): Relationship with Grace, keeping up friendships</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Medium (~4 hr/wk): GCF Large Group, church Community Group, Art of Problem Solving teaching, this blog, exercise</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Small (~2 hr/wk): Bible study / prayer, Large Group planning, seminars, department socializing</span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I do plan to do this again some time, to collect more data and measure what's changed. I'd also be curious if anyone else tries it, to compare our results.</span></div>
</div>
Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-75316407939839087972015-05-05T01:48:00.000-04:002015-05-05T01:52:32.771-04:00Posts 1-10 Summaries and Updates<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Since restarting my blog 76 days ago, I've written 10 new blog posts, one per week except for Spring Break. At this point, I'd like to take a short moment to provide some updates on those posts.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I also realize that my writing style is definitely rather long-winded, and you might not feel you have time to read everything in full detail. So I'm also taking this opportunity to write down paragraph-long summaries of each of my posts. If the paragraph intrigues you, read the full thing!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>1. <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/02/soylent-60-meals-in.html">Soylent, 60 meals in</a> (2/16/15, 1847 words, 2 sections)</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've started trying</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><a href="http://soylent.me/" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Soylent</a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">, a meal replacement smoothie with all of the calories and nutrients you need. It mostly replaces cereal for my breakfasts and some lunches. The flavor is very mild, but it's surprisingly filling. The texture was a problem for a time, but was fine with enough mixing. I've tried mixing in various flavors, with limited success. The end of the article has a long Q&A where I cite</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><a href="http://thecolbertreport.cc.com/videos/2kgoki/rob-rhinehart" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Stephen Colbert interviewing Soylent CEO Rob Rhinehart</a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Update</i>: The latest version of </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Soylent, 1.4, is a rather large change. They found a way to suspend the oils in the powder, thus doing away with the oil vials. The flavor is quite different (it tastes a little more like milk and peanut butter). Fortunately, I like it enough that I no longer bother to mix in syrups to improve the flavor.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>2. <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/02/selma-protest-tactics-and-false-hope-of.html">Selma, Protest Tactics, and the False Hope of Moderation</a> (2/23/15, 1105 words, 2 sections)</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Unlike modern protests in Ferguson and Hong Kong, Martin Luther King, Jr.'s protests had a larger strategy in mind, a point well exhibited by the Oscar-nominated <i>Selma</i>. Also depicted in <i>Selma</i> is the tendency for leaders like King and Johnson to always see themselves as the center point on a scale, but this method of simply comparing oneself to others can lead us ultimately to the wrong point.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>3. <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/03/mindless-replicators.html">Mindless Replicators</a> (3/2/15, 2250 words, 4 sections)</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As a follow-up to the previous post, I tried to offer an explanation for why activism is dead. Much of it was taken from Scott Alexander's <a href="http://slatestarcodex.com/2014/12/17/the-toxoplasma-of-rage/">The Toxoplasma of Rage</a>, where Scott notices a pattern of the more controversial stories, like Michael Brown, making more splashes than the stories, like Eric Garner, most likely to motivate action.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I noticed a pattern with viral messages, like chain letters and pointed out a variant "Bible verse exchange" e-mail I received in 2012. Unfortunately, there are also problems with the solution Scott proposes, where we all donate 10% of our income to charity, because charities face the same pressures to propagate rather than deliver. The main solution I propose is a greater degree of centralization, funneling giving through organizations like churches and <a href="http://www.givewell.org/charities/top-charities">GiveWell</a>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>4. <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/03/feeling-intimidated-by-math.html">Feeling intimidated by math</a> (3/9/15, 526 words, 1 section)</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sitting in a seminar one day, I felt completely lost and helpless, unable to imagine how I could think on the same level as the professors in the seminar. But then I noticed that I was comparing myself to others again, and it wasn't even a fair comparison. I kept going, and one of the problems they mentioned was closely related to a presentation I gave last semester. I perked up and joined in a group taking a closer look at those results.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Update</i>: Unfortunately, it doesn't look like this project is going anywhere, or at least anywhere that I'll be able to contribute to. My interests have shifted to other areas, but the experience of working and talking with the professors was still helpful to learn to think like them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>5. <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/03/the-best-of-harry-potter-and-methods-of.html">Best of Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality</a> (3/16/15, 2223 words, 10 sections)</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The popular <a href="http://hpmor.com/">fanfic</a> finished up on Pi Day of this year, and like my blog posts, it's really long. So I posted a synopsis of the story's premise, and links to nine approximately spoiler-free excerpts spaced apart, with my own commentary about what I liked about each of them. Check them out, and if you have time, read the whole thing!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(A summary of a summary!)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>6. <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/03/the-thermodynamics-of-religious.html">The Thermodynamics of Religious Conversion</a> (3/23/15, 2708 words, 7 sections)</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What should it take for us to consider a different worldview? I draw an analogy between conversions and a chemical reaction. The concepts of an energy differential, activation barrier, temperature, kinetic versus thermodynamic control, and catalysis all apply to religious conversion as well. Is your worldview under kinetic control, where you don't think about it much and/or stick with whatever you grew up with, or thermodynamic control, where you've considered everything?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I proceeded to argue that thermodynamic control is a better place to be from a couple perspectives. First, I argued that the benefits to the Christian faith are substantial. Then I quoted the <i><a href="http://www.yudkowsky.net/rational/virtues/">12 Virtues of Rationality</a></i> to make the case from a rationalist perspective. As a call to action, I encouraged everyone to join the Addir Fellows program if you're at MIT, consider what life would be like without your faith, and attend an Easter service at a nearby church. Finally, I addressed some potential concerns with the boldness of the post that you might have.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Update</i>: Easter is over, but the invitation to check out my church is always open! Just send me an e-mail / Facebook message / text.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>7. <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/04/insufficiently-updating-thomas-and-true.html">Insufficiently Updating Thomas and the True Nature of Faith</a> (4/6/15, 2585 words, 6 sections)</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One famous part of the Easter story recounts how Thomas, one of the disciples, refused to believe in the resurrection after the other disciples told him that they had all seen Jesus alive. He wasn't rational in this doubt, however, privileging his own sensory experience to those of his friends.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In <i>Mere Christianity</i>, CS Lewis describes how faith in Christianity is not blind to evidence. Instead, it's belief without sight, only with reassurance from other means that something is true. I ran quickly through the Old and New Testaments, going over all the examples of faith and showing how it was never blind faith that did it. This is one reason why movies like <i>Prince of Egypt</i> that emphasize the "power of belief" frustrate me -- it's really what that faith is in (God) that makes a difference.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We Christians believe in Jesus because the evidence for his resurrection is overwhelming. As another source of evidence, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Updates</i>: The television series <i>AD: The Bible Continues</i> also depicted Thomas's disbelief as irrational, which was encouraging to see. You can watch the relevant episode, or read its summary, <a href="http://www.nbc.com/ad-the-bible-continues/episode-guide/season-1/the-body-is-gone/102">here</a>. (The relevant scene is about 20 minutes in, but the first 20 minutes are also worth watching.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>8. <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/04/veritas-forum-lessons-part-1-stop.html">Veritas Forum Lessons, Part 1: Stop Optimizing Everything</a> (4/15/15, 3642 words, 8 sections)</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On Monday the 13th, I coordinated my second <a href="http://veritas.org/mit">Veritas Forum at MIT</a>, which for the most part was a success. In this first post about the forum, I shared one of the major lessons I learned: the value in letting go of my perfectionism. This was the major contrast with last year, when I took over six roles and devoted my life to Veritas for a month.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It bugs me any time something isn't optimized, like when I can't get up from my desk and both pee and refill my water bottles in the same efficient trip. And when I do optimize something, I pat myself on the back, even if the gains are small.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In preparing for Veritas, I ended up despairing that so much was not going as I'd hoped. Then I realized, like I had with GCF large groups earlier this year, that I'd been operating under the constraint of "Don't let this take over your life," which meant I couldn't optimize.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I finished with three takeaways: Prioritize which things to optimize. Recognize when returns on effort are increasing or diminishing. Celebrate a job well done, but move on and recognize that not all jobs need to be done well.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Update: </i>As I wrote about, I'm slowly improving at releasing homework feedback quicker on Art of Problem Solving. In doing so, I've cut the total time I spend on it approximately in half.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>9. <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/04/how-to-predict-recent-disney-movie-plot.html">How to Predict Recent Disney Plot Twists</a> (4/24/15, 2058 words, 5 sections)</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This summary is encoded in rot13 because of the massive spoilers throughout the post, mainly about the movies <i>Big Hero 6</i>, <i>Frozen</i>, <i>Wreck It Ralph</i>, and <i>Toy Story 3</i>. Watch those if you haven't already!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Va nyy sbhe bs gurfr zbivrf, gur fhecevfr ivyynva vf n punenpgre jub cerivbhfyl frrzf gb or n gehfgjbegul nhgubevgl svther. Qvfarl frrzf gb fgehttyr gb chg bhg n zbenyyl hcfgnaqvat nhgubevgl punenpgre yvxr Nentbea be Tnaqnys.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Gurve gurbybtvpny oragf ner nyfb ersyrpgvir bs bhe phygher. Gur pybfrfg nanybtf gb Tbq va rnpu zbivr ner znqr ol uhznaf, zntvpny ohg inthr, jengushyyl whqtzragny, be hanjner bs bhe srryvatf naq qrfverf, erfcrpgviryl. Gur fhecevfr ivyynva ersyrpgf gur qrzbaf vafvqr bs qrfverf sbe cbjre naq eriratr, wrnybhfl naq ovggrearff, erfcrpgviryl.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bhe phygher unf gebhoyr gehfgvat nhgubevgvrf, jura fb znal vafcvengvbaf unir orgenlrq gung gehfg. Cneragny nhgubevgl unf fb sne orra tvira na rkphfr ol znxvat nyy Qvfarl punenpgref becunaf. Crefbanyyl, guvf zbgvingrf zr gb or n cbfvgvir rknzcyr bs n tbbq yrnqre nzvqfg nyy bs gur punbf.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>10. <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/04/veritas-forum-lessons-part-2-dialogue.html">Veritas Forum Lessons, Part 2: Dialogue is Hard</a> (4/30/15, 2560 words, 5 sections)</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In this post, I shared some more behind-the-scenes thoughts related to the Veritas Forum, focusing on the inherent difficulties in putting together a good dialogue between individuals of opposing perspectives. In particular, we struggled to find the best secular perspective to share, and while we were happy to have Professor Formaggio speak, we invited him without much information about what he might share.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Our situation was somewhat similar to a recent debate on whether MIT should divest of fossil fuels, organized by the group promoting the course of action, Fossil Free MIT. It also brought to mind one inherent difficulty in organizing the Student Veritas Forums that I started in 2013. There's a chance we might be starting those back up again in the fall, and I'm curious what you think about it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Bonus: Reposted <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2014/04/good-friday-and-christian-music.html">Good Friday and Christian Music</a> (4/19/14, 1003 words, 1 section)</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Good Friday 2014 brought to mind the melancholy worship songs that I first heard through my current church, City on a Hill in Brookline. Unlike the mainstream "positive and encouraging" vibe, songs like <i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7O7LQpQaoc">Satisfied in You (Psalm 42)</a></i> by the Sing Team connect with the other emotions we all feel, teaching us that we can come to God no matter our emotional state.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Update</i>: At Good Friday 2015, one of the songs we sung was <i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwnNSOlLOro">From the Depths of Woe</a></i>, another of the melancholy songs I listed. Also, a few years ago, Michael </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Gungor </span><a href="http://www.churchleaders.com/worship/worship-articles/163218-why-worship-music-should-be-sadder.html" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">made</a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> basically the same point that I made in this post.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">---</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This 10-post mark is also an excellent time to collect some feedback from you, my readers! What do you like about my writing? What do you dislike? What topics do you want me to cover in future posts? What time of day/week would you prefer that I post? Now that the blog is consistent, should I switch to another blog hosting site, e.g. WordPress?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To give you a taste of what I already have in mind, here are some of the posts I'm considering for the future. Keep in mind that the ideas for the majority of my posts so far have been conceived the week I posted them, so it could be a while before I get to all of these.</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Veritas Forum Lessons, Part Three: Thoughts based on the content of the forum itself. (I'm currently waiting for the video to be posted before writing this one.)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Creationism: My perspective as a former passionate young earth creationist, and how I think about the ideas and movement now.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Remember the Milk: The best method for organizing many small tasks.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What I've learned from auditing my own time.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How my girlfriend Grace and I met and began dating.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Board Games: Why I consider this the golden age of board gaming.</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm looking forward to hearing from you, either on Blogspot or Facebook!</span>Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-38145690681070874762015-04-30T15:08:00.001-04:002015-05-21T12:55:55.093-04:00Veritas Forum Lessons, Part 2: Dialogue is Hard<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A couple weeks ago, I coordinated the planning for the Veritas Forum at MIT, "Does Science Point to Atheism?". I've <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/04/veritas-forum-lessons-part-1-stop.html">already written</a> about one of the lessons I learned from coordinating the forum, and this post is another. I have at least one more post planned, relating more to the content that was discussed, which I'll wait to post until the recording is available online. (When it is, it'll be posted <a href="http://veritas.org/mit">on the event website</a>.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ultimately, much of how the forum goes comes down to the speakers we invite. The single biggest complaint we got in the feedback afterwards, particularly from the atheists, was that the secular speaker we selected was an agnostic. While everyone agreed that both speakers were very agreeable, the atheists were particularly disappointed that their own viewpoint wasn't represented.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It wasn't an advertising problem, as we made sure to fully explain what the forum would be about with a rather long subtitle: "A Christian chemist and agnostic physicist discuss God, miracles, and the evidence that shapes their perspective." I wasn't originally a fan of the title, but came to see how it provided the speakers with topics like the "God of the gaps" and miracles to discuss.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">No, the limiting factor, in both our planning and the results, was finding a good speaker to represent non-religious viewpoints at MIT. Finding Professor Van Voorhis was relatively easy, as he had spoken at many Veritas forums before. In fact, I saw him speak at the Veritas Forum at Caltech, while I was visiting during my first year of graduate school here. (He had seen me around MIT, so I looked familiar there.) We knew what we were getting into </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">By contrast, the pool of secular speakers is fairly thin. Agnostics and atheists don't gather together as frequently as Christians, so while they form the majority of the professors at MIT, it's harder to tell which of them would feel comfortable to speak in a forum like ours.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We initially invited a couple famous MIT professors who took at least a week to turn us down, before sending out a bunch of invitations at once, including to Professor Formaggio. We were fairly relieved when he responded, and were excited to finally have our two speakers. At the same time, we were a little nervous, as we had very little idea what we were getting into with him. I think it turned out great, but perhaps wasn't what everyone was expecting in the first place.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On the feedback forms we collect from the audience, we asked them to name professors who they think would be good speakers at future forums. The most common name we got was Max Tegmark, who was in fact the speaker at the Veritas forum at MIT two years ago. While it's good to have additional confirmation that we made the right choice two years ago, he's already someone we know about.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Fortunately, a couple more of the professors we invited in the same batch as Professor Formaggio also responded, saying they would be interested. We told them that we had found another speaker, but saved their contact information for future years.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">---</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There's a core tension at the heart of the Veritas Forum, particularly at a place like MIT which every year features dialogues between speakers from different perspectives. The organization teams at each university are Christians, usually coming from the different fellowships. And yet we always strive to include one speaker from a secular perspective.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As I like to explain it, the Veritas Forums have two core purposes: Evangelism and dialogue. The ultimate hope for many of the Christians who invite their friends is for them to come to an understanding of the truth of the Christian faith. For many, the Veritas forum serves as the first step in such a process, giving them an avenue to bring up the questions that our faith addresses.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At the same time, the way we achieve that first step is through dialogue. Rather than everyone remaining in our own cloistered communities, we model the process of coming together to wrestle with the big questions that universities are really all about. This is why Veritas Forums are able to foster a healthy partnership with universities, due to this shared vision.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Veritas people like to explain that we all believe that with greater conversation, everyone will eventually come to the truth, and seek to serve as <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/03/the-thermodynamics-of-religious.html">the catalyst</a> for that truth.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">---</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was reminded of this tension in a couple ways in the last month.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thanks to an undergraduate friend's eager tabling (thanks Priyanka!), I'm also on the emailing list for <a href="http://www.fossilfreemit.org/">Fossil Free MIT</a>, a grassroots organization petitioning MIT to divest its $12.4B endowment from top fossil fuel companies out of concern for global warming. In contrast to the more volatile movement at Harvard, the MIT group has been taking healthy steps to engage with the MIT community and open a full discussion on campus, building momentum for an institute policy change.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One component of this was a debate they held on campus, the Thursday before the Veritas forum. I wasn't able to make it, but another friend took detailed notes (thanks Sterling!). With his permission, here they are:</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHj6-nlZ_whX1PqrN_trkDIUnAPHT54eLwLSE8sW6z7qDMRY3t5bmAWlEJRspSx3NmETYuWyA05cRDtg2GIJl3AUZSxq-m12Y6Jae66-rPfxoPzOqJZgSCq2voiYlaNxye1ATISqRfRM4/s1600/pg1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHj6-nlZ_whX1PqrN_trkDIUnAPHT54eLwLSE8sW6z7qDMRY3t5bmAWlEJRspSx3NmETYuWyA05cRDtg2GIJl3AUZSxq-m12Y6Jae66-rPfxoPzOqJZgSCq2voiYlaNxye1ATISqRfRM4/s1600/pg1.png" height="640" width="494" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcL71t2wDbMXtUC_BL16Yo1MxZoK3qalJitCJlISVUbyu4bG1SUzyPl-_6HxUSF7MT9xiASMkT3XB57bcLc-oDZ4vFalZor8pRKDxr1pilqAsj2ygr94Xk500Yk1oDKYGNX7Jt62RZtYw/s1600/pg2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcL71t2wDbMXtUC_BL16Yo1MxZoK3qalJitCJlISVUbyu4bG1SUzyPl-_6HxUSF7MT9xiASMkT3XB57bcLc-oDZ4vFalZor8pRKDxr1pilqAsj2ygr94Xk500Yk1oDKYGNX7Jt62RZtYw/s1600/pg2.png" height="640" width="494" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPnofSL5GvnSHCTy1UG-g1mTWaVwjuhAsTzdrMq8Sdynfu0zjKD5xFcGhTzx2QEi9AZ7K0nh0KwVevXM9SwFww974bl1Ozxmam4dnB9QUGFVj1-0wqUU53PXIano5aYIU07ALplLGpYVo/s1600/pg3.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPnofSL5GvnSHCTy1UG-g1mTWaVwjuhAsTzdrMq8Sdynfu0zjKD5xFcGhTzx2QEi9AZ7K0nh0KwVevXM9SwFww974bl1Ozxmam4dnB9QUGFVj1-0wqUU53PXIano5aYIU07ALplLGpYVo/s1600/pg3.png" height="640" width="494" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb0jED9r6R8qpaIFC4k8MfranbkMxim_5MJT4lr_7hdAfFfyOXRAt_U4CpBsxxJFDnaPdSeFBStMmZQtWaHduRXmkoKy_mpbs5hzKhgj-LALk8WD9ig4kM8uEO8Fwgs12Ar1QRyjyqc8A/s1600/pg4.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb0jED9r6R8qpaIFC4k8MfranbkMxim_5MJT4lr_7hdAfFfyOXRAt_U4CpBsxxJFDnaPdSeFBStMmZQtWaHduRXmkoKy_mpbs5hzKhgj-LALk8WD9ig4kM8uEO8Fwgs12Ar1QRyjyqc8A/s1600/pg4.png" height="640" width="494" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAty4dPWoWUtgu8p5CP3cNj5qUysuNsmmgXNSEQikGnCutHiy1FQybHYVzLXeyPKY1zz3yw6IeJza_ihsIKfu6rpvYG2zmBjUFkaaYDR7woBiLkULZ-4T1DdgHaPKYuckWkYIcyGv1_s4/s1600/pg5.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAty4dPWoWUtgu8p5CP3cNj5qUysuNsmmgXNSEQikGnCutHiy1FQybHYVzLXeyPKY1zz3yw6IeJza_ihsIKfu6rpvYG2zmBjUFkaaYDR7woBiLkULZ-4T1DdgHaPKYuckWkYIcyGv1_s4/s1600/pg5.png" height="640" width="492" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(If you have an hour and a half, you can also watch the full debate online <a href="http://webcast.amps.ms.mit.edu/spr2015/Climate_Change/09apr/">here</a>.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Reading those notes, it does seem like the divestment side had a stronger case, and I'm generally supportive of their cause. At the same time, I'm sympathetic to the recognition that divestment will do nothing to directly alter the market forces at play, and the desire to work with fossil fuel companies rather than </span><a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/04/how-to-predict-recent-disney-movie-plot.html" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">casting them as uniformly evil</a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(Also, in case anyone is wondering, there is no disagreement on the reality of human-caused climate change at MIT. The question they were wrestling with is what MIT should do about it.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After the debate, here's how how the Fossil Free MIT people described it:</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The pro-divestment team trounced the opposition in the first-of-its-kind Divestment Debate, in front of an audience of over 500 people.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Of course, as the moderator announced, there was no formal declaration of winners and losers in the debate, so this is a subjective claim. Given that, it's not surprising that the Fossil Free MIT leaders would claim resounding victory.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At the same time, there's something a little bit weird about the student group organizing the debate clearly favoring one of the sides. Unfortunately, I haven't talked to any of their leaders, so I'm not sure how they found the speakers. Both sides seem appropriately credentialed and well-spoken to me, but that doesn't mean that they picked out the "best" speakers they could find to argue against their own cause.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Again, this isn't meant as a criticism -- like the Veritas Forum, it seems like they did the best they could do to make it an even debate, especially since their side has so much more energy and enthusiasm (also analogous to the Veritas Forum). But I'm sure they faced the same tension of wanting to support their own side but not in a way that would turn off people on the fence.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">---</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When I first started helping out with the Veritas Forum in my first year at MIT, I was most struck by the way follow-up was conducted. After having a forum featuring a Christian and an atheist (this was the year we got Max Tegmark), the only follow-up events being offered were from the Christian fellowships, often dinner discussions afterwards, or invitations to talks by Christians on a similar topic.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This felt to me like a bait and switch, and I'd been uncomfortable with some of these sort of follow-up events in the Veritas forums I'd been involved with at Caltech. We saw someone who eventually became a Christian as a result of one of them, and yet it felt quite awkward, with me and two other Christians tried to answer her questions about Christianity. (After getting baptized, she would fall away, but I'm not sure how much the nature of her conversion played a role.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I thought, we can do better. Let's hold a discussion similar to the Veritas Forum itself, but with student speakers, multiple times throughout the year! I wasn't able to put anything together before the forum to announce, but we collected e-mail addresses of people who would be interested in such events via the feedback cards that year, tailoring them to what we wanted (something I <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/04/veritas-forum-lessons-part-1-stop.html">didn't do</a> this year).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After the forum, I started talking with one of my math friends who went, Alex Zhu, who described himself as an agnostic atheist, and really liked Max Tegmark's presentation. Alex and I enjoyed talking together and he eventually agreed to speak at a Student Veritas Forum with me. Later, I was able to find another speaker through e-mailing the leaders of the Secular Society at MIT, Luis Hong Sanchez. Luis is a humanist who comes from a Baha'i background, and is fascinated by religion and big questions. Both of them were just freshmen at the time, but they were willing to speak in front of an audience about their beliefs, which was cool to see.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In talking about this idea with the Christian fellowship leaders, the Baptist Student Fellowship president, Daniel Gillund, told me that he agreed with the desire for more dialogue-based followup events, and would be willing to speak. So we had a panel of four! </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here's how I advertised it:</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The MIT Student Veritas Forums are a new event series to bring together students of different faith perspectives for a friendly discussion about matters of faith, science, and anything else related to those topics. For MIT students and by MIT students, we aim to discuss topics relevant to all of us, in hopefully a way that many can relate to. This Saturday's event is the first, and will feature four student speakers:</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;">
<ul>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sam Elder is a 1st year graduate student in applied math and a Christian. He likes to try to think rationally about everything, including his faith.</span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Luis Hong Sanchez is a freshman majoring in physics and an <span class="il">agnostic</span>. He wants to lead his existence with more questions than answers. </span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Daniel Gillund is a junior in Mechanical Engineering & Physics and is a follower of Jesus Christ. He believes that reason alone cannot provide answers to the most important questions in life.</span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Alex Zhu is a freshman who will be majoring in general math, and is an <span class="il">agnostic</span> <span class="il">atheist</span>. He enjoys pondering philosophical questions.</span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The evening will start with a discussion on some prepared topics by the speakers, followed by a time for questions from attendees. We want to emphasize that this is not a debate, but a friendly dialogue. We hope to start a pattern of productive discussions that also don't skirt away from the heart of the places where we disagree.</span></div>
</div>
</blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We ended up getting around 20-25 people to show up, both from people who had checked their name off at the forum and personal friends of the speakers. We split the time between topics that we each wanted to discuss individually, and questions from the audience. By a show of hands, the audience unanimously agreed that it was a resounding success.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Trying to keep the momentum going, though, was tough. We held a couple more forums like this in Fall 2013, bringing in another secular speaker in Abdi Dirie, but the attendance dwindled steadily to just one, a friend of Alex's, at the last one. At that point, I gave up and decided to focus my efforts on the Veritas Forum itself.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I never really understood why the idea tanked, but I have some ideas. Of course, it's hard to maintain momentum over a summer. It would have helped to actually publicize the event with posters, and plan it out at least a month in advance. Going from zero to a poster is probably the part of the marketing-attendance curve where more marketing would have been worth the time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In the end, we all ended up going our separate ways. Luis, Abdi and I joined the Addir Fellows program, an interfaith discussion group with similar purposes of understanding people from other faiths that I'd highly recommend. Alex also started <a href="http://alexzhu.me/">a blog</a>, and Daniel got married.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And maybe that's for the better. Apart from my popular <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/02/soylent-60-meals-in.html">Soylent post</a>, I typically have 100-200 people at least open each of my blog posts. That's an order of magnitude higher than the number of people who attended our most successful student Veritas forum, and while the impact of a live event is surely lower than a blog post, it's clearly easier to engage with people on their own time than through a scheduled event.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What was the other recent occasion that made me think of the tension inherent in Veritas Forum dialogue? Through the forum this year, I met Sebastian Garza, a sophomore and the president of the Secular Society of MIT. He loved the forum this year, and told me that SSOMIT loves supporting discussion and would be excited to co-sponsor the forum next year. I decided to sit down with him and talk through how that might look, as well as get to know him and SSOMIT a bit better.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In doing so, I explained the two core motivations behind the Veritas forum, evangelism and discussion, and he was comfortable enough co-sponsoring while only being on board with the discussion component. In addition to being officially listed as a sponsor, the main ways they would be able to help out would be in picking a secular speaker to invite, and then further publicizing the event to their mailing list.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The other possibility this raised in my mind is that it makes it possible to advertise follow-up events in good faith, listing, say, a SSOMIT discussion along with the events that the Christian fellowships put on. There's also a chance that we might come back with a new and improved version of the Student Veritas Forums for next year. Either way, we decided that we don't have enough time in this school year to plan anything.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That said, if we do go back to that idea, it's going to have to be revamped. Sponsorship from SSOMIT will go a long way, but we'll also need to poster and probably mass-BCC the dorm mailing lists (something I was hesitant to do the last time). And all of that will only be after we find good speakers. Should we read the general lower level of commitment to Veritas (particularly from the undergrads) as making this idea not worth it? Or is this just what we need to get people interested in helping organize the real deal?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Honestly, I'm not sure, and I'd be interested in your feedback. I'm still evaluating all of my commitments for next year, but the one thing I've decided is that I won't be coordinating the main Veritas Forum itself. I've run with my two ideas, one inside the box (this year) and one outside the box (last year), and it's someone else's turn to take the reins. Of course, I'll still be around to help out in small ways and advise whoever does coordinate it, but I'm stepping down now in order to declare nice and early that we need to find someone new.</span>Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-37420897672510916922015-04-24T14:49:00.001-04:002015-05-21T12:41:15.712-04:00How to Predict Recent Disney Movie Plot Twists<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One of my many roles at MIT is as a Hall Councilor in my graduate dorm, Sidney-Pacific. The role mostly means that I hold small events for my hallmates, often with free food. For the last event of my tenure, they voted unanimously to watch <i>Big Hero 6</i>, which seemed to be Disney's best impression of what grad school is like.</span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">SPOILER WARNING: As you can probably tell from the title, I'm spoiling a bunch of recent Disney movies: Along with <i>Big Hero 6</i>, I also talk about <i>Frozen</i>, <i>Wreck It Ralph</i>, and <i>Toy Story 3</i> in detail, and mix in <i>Tangled</i> a bunch as well. If you still want to see any of these movies, I'd suggest you bookmark this post and come back to it after you do so.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Okay, now that we just have people who've seen these movies, let me remind you of the most dramatic plot twists in each of them. If you haven't seen them but don't plan to, you probably want to instead read the Wikipedia entries (linked to in the titles) to get the whole plot.</span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Hero_6_(film)" style="font-style: italic;">Big Hero 6</a> (2014): The villain in the Kabuki mask is actually Professor Callaghan, the previously warm and brilliant robotics professor and an inspiring mentor to the whole lab. He stole the microbots after the fire and is using them to get back at Alastair Krei for the death of his daughter. After that, he callously dismisses Tadashi's attempt to save him in the fire as Tadashi's own fault (which it was, but that's not how you respond).</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frozen_(2013_film)" style="font-style: italic;">Frozen</a> (2013): Hans, the attractive prince whom Anna gets engaged to, takes responsibility for Arendelle when Anna runs off to find her sister Elsa, and is showing himself quite competent, unlike Anna or Elsa. When Anna returns needing act of true love from him, he reveals that he didn't really love her, but only wanted to take control of the kingdom. He leaves her to die, blaming Elsa for her murder.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wreck-It_Ralph" style="font-style: italic;">Wreck-It Ralph</a> (2012): King Candy, the frequent winner of his game, <i>Sugar Rush</i>, tells Ralph that since his newfound friend Vanellope had a glitch, letting her race would mess up the whole game, leaving Ralph in a true moral dilemma (that I was honestly hoping he would have to resolve). But King Candy had lied, and as Ralph discovers, had inserted the glitch into her code in the first place.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toy_Story_3">Toy Story 3</a></i> (2010): This twist happens a bit earlier in the plot. SunnySide Daycare, where Andy's toys (except Woody) are taken, seems at first to be a great place, led by the friendly Lots-O-Huggin' Bear. But not long later, it's revealed that Lotso is actually a ruthless gang leader, deliberately putting new toys in harm's way (the toddlers).</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What do they all share? The surprise villains are always the characters in authority who seem to be trustworthy. The natural lesson? Don't trust and follow authority figures, even if they seem responsible.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The excellent <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zb5IH57SorQ">Honest Trailer for <i>Frozen</i></a> put it best: "Experience a clever twist on past Disney films that teaches girls everywhere they don't need a prince to rescue them, because all men are disgusting loners, greedy murderers, or lying, manipulative, power-hungry sociopaths."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In other words, Disney seems to be completely turning on the prince-rescuing-a-princess storyline. Even Disney's recent takes on Rapunzel, the classic rescue story, in <i>Tangled</i> and <i>Into the Woods</i> both feature </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">[</span><a href="http://rot13.com/" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">rot13</a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">'d for spoilers] cevaprf gung ner xvaq bs wrexf naq pregnvayl abg nalbar jbegu vzvgngvat.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It seems that Disney characters these days can't both be powerful and morally upstanding. In other words, the only Fellowship of the Ring characters that can show up in Disney movies are the hobbits, Boromir, and I guess Gimli for the comic relief. There aren't any knights in shining armor, no super awesome Aragorn or Legolas to save the day in style, or even Gandalf to offer wisdom and the occasional balrog fight.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A few characters in these films come close to being inspiring authority figures. Tadashi is a great older brother to Hiro, but he dies trying to save Professor Callaghan from the fire, showing that the only way to actually die in a Disney movie is to try to be selfless. Kristoff is also selfless in trying to rescue Anna, but sort of alone and clueless as well. Sergeant Calhoun is pretty badass, but is also grizzled from her constant fight against the Cy-Bugs and somewhat dark backstory. Bonnie is a great new caretaker of Andy's toys, but in the end, she's just a little girl playing with toys.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And I get it, competent leadership is boring. There's a reason <i>Lord of the Rings</i> ends with Aragorn's coronation; his reign in Gondor would feature many fewer epic battles, I'm sure, and Disney doesn't really do action movies so that part isn't an option.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But I think there's a deeper, more theological reason here, too. What we don't see in these movies is a wise king and queen who oversee all of the actions of their children and subjects in the kingdom. (<i>Tangled</i> has royalty, but the only thing they do is release lanterns.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's interesting to see the most approximate depictions of God in these movies.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In <i>Big Hero 6</i>, God is Baymax, a robot with powers like omniscience (can scan everyone in San Fransokyo instantly) and omnipotence (can hold back any giant concrete slabs hurtled at him), but was created by humans and remains ultimately subject to their choices about which software to run. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Frozen</i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">, God is the magical troll rocks who characters pray to, uh, whenever Anna is about to die, but who respond vaguely, </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dach1nPbsY8" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">leave their words open to poor interpretation</a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">, and are a little too obsessed with romantic love. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wreck-It Ralph</i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">, God is the actual people who run the arcade, known most for their wrathful vengeance (unplugging games that don't work anymore), which causes the characters to live in fear of this judgment. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And in </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Toy Story 3</i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">, God is Andy, who doesn't realize that his toys are actually alive and have feelings and desires of their own as well.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What sort of God do you believe in? Is God just a human invention? Distant and vague? Wrathful and concerned only with our performance? Or completely oblivious to our own feelings and desires?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As a Christian, none of those feel that accurate to me, although Baymax and Andy bear some similarities. Of course, Tolkien was a Christian, so his closest analogies to God (Aragorn and Gandalf) have more in common without being as literal as CS Lewis's Aslan.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let me be clear: I don't mean to say that Disney makes godless movies that No True Christian should watch because they will corrupt your mind. Not at all -- by thinking through these examples, we can come to a better understanding of how the world would be like with a God like any of these, and from the Christian perspective, why it's important that God isn't like this.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For everyone, though, what world do we really live in, and how does that introduce conflict into our lives? Do we continually fear rejection because we're not good enough, and might be shut down soon? Are we just sort of blustering about making tons of mistakes on our own like Elsa and Anna in <i>Frozen</i> with nowhere to turn except when we're about to die? To improve, do we have to buckle down and "upgrade" ourselves like Hiro does? Or does it all just not matter, since we're subject to so much random chance, like Andy's mom mistakenly throwing us away?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Devil gets an interesting treatment as well. In fact, a</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">ll of these stories feel a need to explain their surprise villains' backstory rather than just casting them as evil through and through. Callaghan went mad after his daughter died in an accident caused by the hasty negligence of his rival, Alastair Krei. Hans was desperate for power, and didn't see any other future as the 13th brother in a large family. King Candy is really Turbo, a character from an older game who had grown jealous of a newer game becoming more popular. Lots-O-Huggin' Bear grew bitter after being replaced by a similar-looking bear by his first owners when they had left him behind on vacation.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Putting it together, the demons we face are all within, stemming from our own desires for power and revenge, our own jealousy and bitterness.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I actually like this change, because it humanizes the bad guys and helps us understand where evil comes from and see how we could venture down that road ourselves. They're better than the enemies of past Disney movies, who are often just straight-up evil from the beginning.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Beyond the theology, the artistic choice to make all of the competent authorities secretly evil also reflects a modern prevailing attitude. The news from General David Petraus's drawn-out trial is just the latest in a line of disappointment in former heroes like Lance Armstrong, Tiger Woods, and Alex Rodriguez.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In many ways, this means we've become more moral, raising the standards that we require of our leadership. Since Watergate, we won't look the other way at JFK's philandering or Woodrow Wilson's racism anymore. We've become very concerned, rightfully or not, about the e-mail address Hillary Clinton used as Secretary of State, or how a bunch of money got from Russia to her husband's charity. Of course, there are political reasons there, too.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And yet, so few have survived the scrutiny of that spotlight that we've become jaded. We've come to believe, like <i>Frozen</i>, that there isn't anything good to be found in powerful men.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One area of authority that seems almost immune to this sort of concern is family. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">None of these movies portray parents who betray their children. In fact, Callaghan is even driven mad because of his love for his daughter. One might think of </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Brave</i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> and </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tangled</i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> as counterexamples, but [</span><a href="http://rot13.com/" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">rot13</a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">'d for the spoilers] va </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oenir</i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">, gur zbgure-qnhtugre eryngvbafuvc vf abg nobhg orgenlny ohg erpbapvyvngvba, naq va </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Gnatyrq</i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">, Tbgury vfa'g npghnyyl Enchamry'f zbgure.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Instead, Disney makes all of its main characters into orphans, so no one can blame their parents when things go wrong, because their parents are dead. And when a character like Tadashi becomes a bit like a parent, he dies so he can't be blamed for anything that goes wrong after that, either.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Of course, an obvious reason for this is that parents still decide what movies little kids watch, and enough parents wouldn't tolerate a direct assault on their authority that any such movie would tank. But I predict it won't be long before such a take comes out. (And no, the new <i>Cinderella</i> doesn't count, since it's her stepmom who mistreats her, not her own mother.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After all, the culture has already shifted to critiquing parenting techniques as well. As usual, it started in the world of sports, the place where Americans <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/05/opinion/05brooks.html">think most morally</a>, with the outrage against running back Adrian Peterson for whipping his 4-year-old son. But it's continued in the outcry over the decision of the parents of Joshua/Leelah Alcorn to propose therapy rather than embracing his/her transgender identity, leading to his/her suicide.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What's the lesson I take from all of this? Personally, it makes me ever more motivated to be a positive example in the midst of all of this chaos. I don't know what my future holds, but I expect many of us will be leaders in some capacity, whether that's work or parenting, and I'd encourage you to remember to not neglect the moral component of leadership.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To do so, it won't be enough to just go it alone. We need to be conversant in morality, whether from reading the Bible or <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/10/opinion/david-brooks-the-cost-of-relativism.html">David</a> <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/17/opinion/david-brooks-the-moral-injury.html">Brooks</a> <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/12/opinion/sunday/david-brooks-the-moral-bucket-list.html">columns</a>. We need better and more inspiring <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Seven-Men-Secret-Their-Greatness/dp/1595554696/">examples</a> of real people to look to. And we need a community to gut check our own decisions and hold us accountable to the values we claim to hold dear.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It might sound like I'm about to advertise that my Christian faith gives me all three of these things, and it does, but I'm actually more humbled by the fact that some of these fallen heroes, like Adrian Peterson, were also Christian. Clearly it takes more than just our faith.</span></div>
Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-32724043517209581952015-04-15T13:42:00.000-04:002015-05-21T12:55:55.085-04:00Veritas Forum Lessons, Part 1: Stop Optimizing Everything<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As many of you know (from my Facebook event invitation or <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/04/insufficiently-updating-thomas-and-true.html">previous blog post</a>), I coordinated the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/1562198824048407/">Veritas Forum at MIT</a> for the second year in a row Monday night. Since everyone asks, it was recorded and will be on <a href="http://veritas.org/mit">veritas.org/mit</a> some time in the next 3-6 weeks. I'll be reflecting on the event over two or more blog posts, and this is the first.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What was it about? Well, you can read the super long title on the Facebook page to see how we advertised it. To get feedback on the forum, we ask all of the participants what their biggest takeaway from the forum was. Here are some random examples to give you a flavor of the discussion.</span><br />
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<span data-sheets-userformat="[null,null,513,[null,0],null,null,null,null,null,null,null,null,0]" data-sheets-value="[null,2,"the motives of actions are important. In other words, it's not just actions, it's the truth behind the actions that matter. True belief matters, and belief is valuable because provable absolutes don't exist. Even \"cogito ergosum\" is doubtable"]" style="font-family: arial,sans,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">the motives of actions are important. In other words, it's not just actions, it's the truth behind the actions that matter. True belief matters, and belief is valuable because provable absolutes don't exist. Even "cogito ergosum" is doubtable</span></blockquote>
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<span data-sheets-userformat="[null,null,513,[null,0],null,null,null,null,null,null,null,null,0]" data-sheets-value="[null,2,"There are very smart people on both sides of this issue"]" style="font-family: arial,sans,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">There are very smart people on both sides of this issue</span></blockquote>
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<span data-sheets-userformat="[null,null,513,[null,0],null,null,null,null,null,null,null,null,0]" data-sheets-value="[null,2,"Religion shapes how people act and is important in that way\nRespect more important than convincing"]" style="font-family: arial,sans,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Religion shapes how people act and is important in that way<br />Respect more important than convincing</span></blockquote>
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<span data-sheets-userformat="[null,null,513,[null,0],null,null,null,null,null,null,null,null,0]" data-sheets-value="[null,2,"MIT professors are not philosophers (mostly)"]" style="font-family: arial,sans,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">MIT professors are not philosophers (mostly)</span></blockquote>
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<span data-sheets-userformat="[null,null,513,[null,0],null,null,null,null,null,null,null,null,0]" data-sheets-value="[null,2,"The limits of science and proving God's existence should be considered."]" style="font-family: arial,sans,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">The limits of science and proving God's existence should be considered.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span data-sheets-userformat="[null,null,513,[null,0],null,null,null,null,null,null,null,null,0]" data-sheets-value="[null,2,"The presence of God cannot be proven nor disproven, though this fact should not deter belief."]" style="font-family: arial,sans,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">The presence of God cannot be proven nor disproven, though this fact should not deter belief.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span data-sheets-userformat="[null,null,513,[null,0],null,null,null,null,null,null,null,null,0]" data-sheets-value="[null,2,"There are very smart people on both sides of this issue"]" style="font-family: arial, sans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I need to do my taxes in the next two days!</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Okay, so that last one was fake, but it did come up in Professor Formaggio's presentation. If you weren't there, I guess you'll have to wait for the video to see how he tied that in to his agnostic beliefs, because you'll never guess.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyways, as the organizer, I was already familiar with the content that they presented, and my biggest takeaway was not generated from the discussion itself. Instead, it was through this event that <b>I learned the value in letting go of my perfectionism.</b></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Leading the Veritas Forum last year, I had many ideas for how to make the forum better. I had left frustrated the year before (2013) with so many of the tiny mistakes that the leadership had made, and resolved to solve them all myself. For instance:</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We had communication issues with the Veritas national organization representative, because she wasn't on all of our e-mail chains. So I created dedicated MIT mailing lists for each of the teams, and subscribed her to all of them. Later, this would prove useful for finding e-mails related to the Veritas forum in my inbox.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At least one of my friends was turned away at the door and wasn't told where the overflow rooms were, so he just left. So I created and gathered a dedicated usher and signage team the next year that put up a carefully choreographed sequence of signs... that didn't get used because we didn't need the overflow rooms.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The MC memorably mispronounced Feynman's name, so I planned to just be the MC myself.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The forum felt like all the other science and faith discussions that get to the same small set of topics and end before discussing much of substance that the speakers disagreed on. So I decided to try a different tack the next year: Discuss what important decisions people make in their lives, focusing on questions of career, success and purpose.</span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As you might expect, the eventual result was that I basically spent an entire month solely on the Veritas forum. I added it all up at the end and realized that I had done the work of about six different volunteers. This was directly after passing quals, so it wasn't such a big deal for my academic work. But I knew it wouldn't be reasonable in future years.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So this year, I resolved to delegate. I would take on the coordinator's role (a double role, since many years have co-coordinators), but wouldn't let myself do anything else besides the occasional task here and there. And I found that people did step up to serve. There are too many people to thank in this blog post, but I'm particularly grateful for Maria Cassidy, who volunteered to take over both the Outreach leader and MC responsibilities.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The thing about delegating, I found, is that you have to be willing to accept what other people put together. I don't mean to say that Maria did a bad job in any way; she was definitely a better MC than me, for instance, adding some humor to her introductions of the professors. What I mean to say is that I had to give up my desire to do things in exactly the best way, from my perspective.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">---</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let me spell out exactly what my problem with perfectionism is. In short, any time something isn't optimized, it bugs me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For instance, I tend to drink a lot of water while I work, which often leads me to need to simultaneously refill my water bottles and drain my bladder. Due to plumbing considerations, most buildings put these resources directly adjacent. But in my current office building, the water fountains are attached to the back of the bathrooms, which makes my routing much less efficient:</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_MvXqr06l7hT6kjeTYG2Hic8_4P4DcwXrYWfiXoAPHwOXOjyMBnzVGDtykPVopnSgWpNasFxNM9kKGi0NrO2vHmjmS1hPSwJjOHw26-3PAprJWKdLoFzeAeZc3WOuqDkq7i7ebTciDfA/s1600/Frustrating+Office+Layout.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_MvXqr06l7hT6kjeTYG2Hic8_4P4DcwXrYWfiXoAPHwOXOjyMBnzVGDtykPVopnSgWpNasFxNM9kKGi0NrO2vHmjmS1hPSwJjOHw26-3PAprJWKdLoFzeAeZc3WOuqDkq7i7ebTciDfA/s1600/Frustrating+Office+Layout.png" height="400" width="397" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And this frustrates me. You'd be surprised how often this just nags me to death.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Perhaps it's because I'm a mathematician. When I'm engaged in deep thought, it can be annoying to have to remember to go to the bathroom after filling up my water bottles when it isn't just next door, or remember that I had left my water bottles at that three-way intersection of the paths when I went to visit the bathroom. (There also isn't anywhere to leave them at eye level except a trash can near the bathroom which isn't perfectly flat on top...) And then when I sit down to think and realize I still need to go to the bathroom or I'm missing my water bottles, I didn't save any time at all by trying to do both things at once.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is actually the feature I most dislike about this swing space we're in. As you can probably tell from the floor plan, there isn't any natural light in the grad student spaces, but I don't notice the difference. And it's apparently not as nice as our new offices (which will be completed in January), but I already have more space and cabinets than I need.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">---</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Of course, there's something a little odd about that behavior. In some sense, the problem here is just hard to optimize. It isn't clear which of my options are best at any given moment, but the differences are so small that it shouldn't matter much to me. Whatever I decide to do, I'm not missing out in any big way.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One of the topics that came up in Professor Van Voorhis's Veritas presentation was that as a fundamental researcher, he believes that finding the truth is important in and of itself. He used this to justify why we should be interested in questions of the existence of God, just for their intrinsic value, because we want to know.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I think my brain operates somewhat similarly with respect to optimization. I seem to think that there's something intrinsically valuable in knowing that I've done something to the best of my ability. <a href="https://www.facebook.com/elder.sam/posts/10202146924017009">Every</a> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/elder.sam/posts/10202827746477145">time</a> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/elder.sam/posts/10202530827534357">I</a> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10153291115185486&set=a.10153291113735486.1073741829.850060485&type=1">do</a>, I give myself a little pat on the back.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(By the way, the new optimum to lunch-on-the-go is now <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/02/soylent-60-meals-in.html">Soylent</a>, even if my path takes me by a Chipotle. It reduces cost to $2.50 and prep/cleanup time to 3 minutes (amortized over four meals), so the tradeoff is 2 minutes to ~$5, or $150/hr. Lower order terms still slightly favor Chipotle, as Soylent wins more on health and flexibility but loses on taste.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(Okay, maybe I'm not really learning my lesson.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">---</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let me pick the story back up. How did the Veritas Forum teach me to stop optimizing? Well, t</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">he week before the forum, I felt like it was falling apart in all directions. Posters still hadn't gone up, and when they went up, they were difficult to find. See if you can spot </span><strike style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Waldo</strike><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> the Veritas poster in both of the pictures below:</span><br />
<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgScxD4U6U8WrauO_wugOCyCQKON80xKetbAfaZmiVd-bWNgr1Oya3UYaUmMaXubZTGCvkKw7NtB_6C7ZvBExr6bs1Zgi-36oFs0u-EAMcm0HvKOHQWXZOu0L1OdDrE86M_q5dpbsACwQY/s1600/2015-04-10+17.58.53.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgScxD4U6U8WrauO_wugOCyCQKON80xKetbAfaZmiVd-bWNgr1Oya3UYaUmMaXubZTGCvkKw7NtB_6C7ZvBExr6bs1Zgi-36oFs0u-EAMcm0HvKOHQWXZOu0L1OdDrE86M_q5dpbsACwQY/s1600/2015-04-10+17.58.53.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdmzOEKzdy0pXiAi4b23J55xb-i0OCNa0jD-FisslMscB4f5zxBWCPAKRx58l0KqcETv2TsyvC1FVFYsGmoaod8xAaCNJe9KpOREwed7ywVr_3Wk5958eMUtc_Jsw5hmqQslQ0bcGjC3A/s1600/2015-04-10+18.01.23.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdmzOEKzdy0pXiAi4b23J55xb-i0OCNa0jD-FisslMscB4f5zxBWCPAKRx58l0KqcETv2TsyvC1FVFYsGmoaod8xAaCNJe9KpOREwed7ywVr_3Wk5958eMUtc_Jsw5hmqQslQ0bcGjC3A/s1600/2015-04-10+18.01.23.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Even if you know that you're looking for (an astronaut/Jesus ascending mashup), it can be tough. And yes, I have horrible photography skills, but maybe they mimic what you'd see at a glance walking by.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To keep my complaining short, since that isn't really the point, people weren't signing up to help, and my leaders kept going missing. Then in the week leading up to the forum, two of them got sick.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One of those days, I was walking, thinking to myself: "How did it come to this? What went wrong with my plans? Is this forum just going to fall on its face, an embarrassment to all of us planning for not even the first time?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And that's when I realized I'd asked those same sorts of questions before.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">---</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is my second year doing a lot of things at MIT. It's my third year at MIT, and, well, it didn't take long for me to take on leadership roles, from being a hall councilor in my dorm to captaining the Graduate Christian Fellowship intramural frisbee team. It was actually when I failed to turn in a deposit check by a mid-February deadline for that frisbee team that I realized: I'm doing almost all of the same things this year, but instead of building on my experience to improve, I'm doing a worse job across the board.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The starkest example is in the Graduate Christian Fellowship large groups. The story runs somewhat similar to that Veritas story.</span><br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I joined the large group team during my first year, and saw some small issues that I wanted to fix (e.g. not enough communication with speakers and redundancy with topics covered in church).</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I set out a vision for the new year, titled "Burning Questions," and executed it decently well, collecting the best questions the fellowship had to offer and conducting a vote (approval voting, of course) before finding speakers for the top eleven topics as determined by the votes. People came and were mostly excited to hear about all of the controversial stuff they wanted to know about: hell, heresy, homosexuality, and more topics that didn't start with the letter h.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This year, my second year in charge, I tried to democratize the task of deciding the topics we would cover, implicitly delegating it to the leaders in the fellowship who suggested ideas. In the end, some of these new ideas were successful and some of which weren't, but the end result was that across the board, there was lower attendance and enthusiasm about large groups in general.</span></li>
</ol>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When even at our most popular events were poorly attended, we realized something was wrong. GCF president Gerald Pho and I had multiple conversations about it, but I remember one in particular in Sebastian's pretty clearly.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In discussing how we had ended up there, I realized that a major motivation to my democratizing plan was due to a lack of a large group team to put on the events, and a recognition of my own limits to run it all myself. Instead of putting together the best large groups I could, I had been trying to put on large groups that were the best I could without committing a ton of time to them myself.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>I had learned that keeping your own involvement constrained means that you can't optimize.</b> With the large groups, it meant that I didn't have much latitude to pick and choose between ideas, because I wouldn't have the energy to come up with something better or maintain a constant theme throughout the large groups over the course of a semester or year.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In the end, we decided that this strategy was not sustainable for large groups, and set about the task of gathering a team of leaders to help me again. We held a town hall meeting asking for additional feedback, and shared the lessons we had learned from this experience.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">---</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Walking and thinking about how the Veritas forum had ended up in such disarray, I took comfort in remembering that I had explicitly constrained myself from taking over every little thing. I resisted the urge to just put the team on my back and spend my entire week postering, manning a proxy board, recruiting ushers, and writing questions for the moderator to ask the two speakers to make the forum happen, whether anyone else was going to help me or not.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Instead, I had to pick my battles. For marketing, I invested heavily in inviting people via Facebook, and sent e-mails encouraging everyone involved to do the same. I knew the content of the forum would be very important, and decided to think hard about challenging questions to ask both speakers. (Perhaps they were too challenging, given the "MIT professors are not philosophers" comment... I did have higher hopes for many of their responses, to be honest.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And I made some mistakes along the way. For instance, I didn't bother editing and reprinting those response cards to accurately tailor to the followup events we would have, like I had the previous two years, and now we're not really sure who it's appropriate to e-mail or not to follow up.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So let me go ahead and advertise what I do know here: If you're at MIT (particularly if you're a grad student), GCF is hosting a similar panel with 3-4 Christian graduate students explaining what their evidence for belief is. It'll be in the MIT Chapel at 8pm on Friday. You should come!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In the end, the forum happened, and unlike with GCF, it actually didn't hurt to not optimize it. Over 400 people came, filling the room to close to its capacity, and we were able to find enough ushers with a last-minute e-mail I sent a couple hours before the forum. Possibly apart from the follow-up, the mistakes we had made weren't such a big deal after all.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">---</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Experienced optimizers/perfectionists like me will notice that it's perfectly possible to still optimize over a constrained time budget. You just add in the constraint of finishing by a certain time, or add a penalty for taking longer to do it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The most obvious example of this came on the night itself, when the Veritas representative Diane and I were tasked with sorting through the questions people had submitted by text, realtime. Over the course of about an hour, we received over 80 questions, and had to sort through them to find six that the moderator would eventually ask. In fact, we picked nine, but we didn't end up having time for these three:</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span id="docs-internal-guid-d6c7d9e7-bb61-e8b6-7b58-f827446cb0c0"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For Troy: How do you think of the miracle stories in other religions or culture? </span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span id="docs-internal-guid-d6c7d9e7-bb61-e8b6-7b58-f827446cb0c0"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For Troy: Why are there suffering and unfairness if God is just and gracious?</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">For Joe: What evolutionary benefit is there to being predisposed to believe in a higher power?</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So my apologies if you were the one asking one of these questions. I guess this is like getting an Honorable Mention. Anyways, I personally liked the first of these a lot, and I'm a little bummed we didn't get to hear Troy's answer.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At the same time, I'm sure there were many more questions that would have been better questions to ask than the six we got to. And you know, I'm okay with that. We were quite constrained: Fishing for well-worded answers that possibly showed up multiple times in various forms to suggest popularity of the question, all while trying to listen to the speakers and moderator ourselves to see if they'd already addressed these questions. Once we had most of our nine favorites, we stopped looking as closely.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In fact, I'm quite used to working under a constrained time budget from all of my time spent on math competitions growing up. Having a fixed amount of time helped me focus and eventually perform at the highest levels.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Of course, real life is much more open-ended. There are deadlines for some things (like taxes!) and then there are the things like getting reimbursed that you really should do sooner rather than later, but there's really no hard deadline.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As I've written about <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2014/06/managing-tasks-without-deadlines.html">before</a>, it's been difficult for me to transition from the first world of deadlines to the second. (That post is a bit out-of-date; look for a future post about my new organizational method.) Essentially my current solution is to artificially make the second world into the first by setting deadlines for myself, but allow myself to postpone some tasks to future days if I run out of time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">---</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So what has changed as a result, if it's still possible to optimize with limited time? Here are the practical lessons I've learned that I'm hoping will stick:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1) <b>Prioritize which things to optimize.</b> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have a tendency to want to perfect, or at least improve, absolutely everything I come across. Normally, this is a good thing, as it helps me to leave behind lasting changes, like the various rides spreadsheets I've scattered about Caltech and MIT.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But sometimes it just leads me to optimize things that don't really matter. I notice this strongest every week when I hand back homework to the geometry students I'm teaching online. We strive to give detailed, helpful comments on their writing problems, usually 3-4 paragraphs describing what they did right and wrong and how they can further improve.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The way the process works is that graders (often undergrads) take the first look at the submissions and give feedback, and then I check it over before getting it back to the students. I can almost always find additional comments to make on the students' solutions, whether it's a style suggestion or the grader didn't quite understand what the student was trying to do and where their mistake really lay.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But taking a step back, this is a waste of time. Sure, I get paid by the hour, but I already refuse tutoring gigs because it's not a good use of either my time or their money. And giving the best possible individualized feedback is not so different from tutoring, except that the students might not read it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The way I'm shifting my strategy on this is twofold: First, I'm changing my approach to releasing grader comments: If they say something useful and give an approximately good score, I'm just going to release it. Second, I've already begun compiling the most common errors and style comments to share each week in class. This way I can make sure that the effect of my work is multiplied to the whole class, not just one of my students.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2) <b>Recognize when returns on effort are increasing or diminishing.</b> If they are increasing, try to optimize. If they are decreasing, doing a poor job is not so bad.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I think this one explains the difference I noticed between GCF and Veritas above. With GCF large groups, as people pointed out in the town hall meeting, the community aspect made them more likely to come if they thought other people they wanted to see would be coming. Holding high quality events was key for not just the impression that it would be worth attending but the assumption that others would think the same.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On the other hand, impersonal forms of marketing have diminishing returns. Maybe people are going to see your poster, maybe not, but if you put up twice as many posters, less than twice as many people are going to see them, since some people will see multiple posters. Some people will even react negatively to seeing too much advertising for something.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3) <b>Celebrate a job done well, but move on and recognize that not all jobs need to be done well.</b> There have been several moments in my life when I've been really excited with the way something has turned out, where it came to a sort of closure, perfectly wrapping up all the loose ends. One of these was the Burning Questions series in GCF, which was exciting and by the end, we managed to cover exactly the eleven topics that were most popular with the fellowship. People look back now on that series as a good example of what large groups can be.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Another example that comes to mind is the Simple Person's Applied Math Seminar, which I restarted (with help) my first year here and ran for a solid three semesters before passing it on. At the end of the last talk of the Fall 2013 semester, I held an awards ceremony for the best talks of the semester, giving out themed awards related to each of the categories in the title. As a humorous afternote, this unwittingly hooked one of my classmates (William Yu) on dried fruit from his prize of dried apples for the best applications in his talk (get it?).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Apart from the questions asked of the speakers, I haven't had the same sense of satisfaction from the two Veritas forums I've organized, but it's okay. As Diane brought up at one point with regards to the title, sometimes done is better than perfect.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I also don't have a similar affect with respect to my two years as a Hall Councilor; I've made numerous mistakes along the way, like forgetting to order rice for a Chinese dinner at the last event we had. You'd think that two years into the job, I would be better, but you know, it's okay. We had our fun while we could, and I got to know some of my neighbors pretty well. I had dreams that we'd replicate some aspects of undergrad, but not all dreams need to come to fruition, and I'm learning to be okay with that.</span></div>
Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-56428828372858616822015-04-07T01:09:00.000-04:002015-05-21T12:49:07.129-04:00Insufficiently Updating Thomas and the True Nature of Faith<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yesterday was Easter, which as I wrote last week <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/03/the-thermodynamics-of-religious.html">provides an excellent window</a> into the core of Christianity. Christmas might be more widely celebrated in our culture today, but Jesus' virgin birth is far less important than his resurrection to the existence, progress, and veracity of Christianity.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The centrality of the resurrection to Christianity could really not be understated. In text frequently read at Easter, Paul claims that Christians are really all-in on the resurrection: "<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.4640007019043px; text-indent: 25.9200019836426px;">And if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain" (1 Corinthians 15:14).</span> Historically, the ideas of Christianity would not have gotten off the ground if all it was spreading was the message preached by a dead messiah-claimant. At the very least, Jesus's followers would have needed to believe that Jesus had risen from the dead.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But one famously didn't...</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.4640007019043px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now Thomas, one of the Twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.”</span></span></blockquote>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Eight days later, his disciples were inside again, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” (</span><a href="http://www.esvbible.org/John+20:24-29/" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px; white-space: pre-wrap;">John 20:24-29</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px; white-space: pre-wrap;">, ESV).</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"See! Christianity is about blind faith! Jesus is encouraging Thomas that he should 'just believe!' How can this possibly be consistent with rationalism?" That's the naive reading that many people get from this passage, and exactly what I'd like to address.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The weak answer is that Jesus still gave Thomas the evidence he asked for. He didn't stonewall him, leaving him to doubt forever even if that's not what he was supposed to do. We see God responding similarly to Gideon's specific requests for evidence in <a href="http://www.esvbible.org/Judges+6:36-40/">Judges 6:36-40</a>. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But there's a big difference: Jesus rebukes Thomas, while God doesn't rebuke Gideon.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let's reopen Thomas's case for a closer look: Should he have believed that Jesus was risen from the dead? The evidence before him: The other ten remaining disciples of Jesus, his close travelling companions for the last three years, had just simultaneously seen Jesus in the flesh and told Thomas about it. If you read a few verses earlier in <a href="http://www.esvbible.org/John+20/">John 20</a>, Jesus offered them the same evidence of his bodily wounds from the crucifixion.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So if you are Thomas, to disbelieve is to claim that these close brothers of yours are all deluded or lying (or playing a very mean practical joke). But the more likely scenario is that Thomas had such a strong prior expectation against resurrection that he stopped listening to evidence and updating his expectations.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Taking everything into account, therefore, it was completely rational for Thomas to believe. He should have been willing to outsource the sensory experiences to his friends, especially in a day before "pics or it didn't happen" would have been a valid response. Sure, he probably should have sat each of them down separately and asked them about random mundane details they would have etched into their memory if it was real but wouldn't have bothered to fabricate (like, say, who was standing where), and cross-referenced their stories to make sure they were accurate. But supposing he had no reason to suspect a lie or a prank, it was irrational </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">not to update his beliefs on the secondhand evidence he had received.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is a much bigger issue than the interpretation of one particular story in the Bible, though. The concept of faith plays a central role throughout the Bible. Chapter 11 of the book of Hebrews gives the most stirring recollection of how God's people have been defined by their faith. Yet I believe that many people are mistaken about the true nature of faith.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm not the first to think this. Here's CS Lewis on this subject:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Roughly speaking, the word Faith seems to be used by Christians in two senses or on two levels, and I will take them in turn. In the first sense it means simply Belief -- accepting or regarding as true the doctrines of Christianity. That is fairly simple. But what does puzzle people -- at least it used to puzzle me -- is the fact that Christians regard faith in this sense as a virtue. I used to ask how on earth it can be a virtue -- what is there moral or immoral about believing or not believing a set of statements? Obviously, I used to say, a sane man accepts or rejects any statement, not because he wants to or does not want to, but because the evidence seems to him good or bad. If he were mistaken about the goodness or badness of the evidence that would not mean he was a bad man, but only that he was not very clever. And if he thought the evidence bad but tried to force himself to believe in spite of it, that would be merely stupid.</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Well, I think I still take that view. But what I did not see then -- and a good many people do not see still -- was this. I was assuming that if the human mind once accepts a thing as true it will automatically go on regarding it as true, until some real reason for reconsidering it turns up. In fact, I was assuming that the human mind is completely ruled by reason. But that is not so. For example, my reason is perfectly convinced by good evidence that anaesthetics do not smother me and that properly trained surgeons do not start operating until I am unconscious. But that does not alter the fact that when they have my down on the table and clap their horrible mask over my face, a mere childish panic begins inside me. I start thinking I am going to choke, and I am afraid they will start cutting me up before I am properly under. In other words, I lose my faith in anaesthetics. It is not reason that is taking away my faith: on the contrary, my faith is based on reason. It is my imagination and emotions. The battle is between faith and reason on one side and emotion and imagination on the other. (</span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mere Christianity</i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">, p138-139)</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To clarify the discussion, let's define <i>blind faith</i> as belief opposing or in the absence of evidence. My claim is that blind faith is never the sort of faith advocated in the Bible.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So what should faith really be? Jesus's rebuke of Thomas gives us an excellent starting point: Belief without sight. Hebrews 11:1 solidifies this definition: "<span class="selected" original-title="" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 22.4640007019043px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of </span><span class="" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 22.4640007019043px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">things not seen."</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">Sight is not the only form of evidence, and this is the key. Lewis's surgeon example fits well: He believes on the basis of the credentials of the surgeon that he will be fine, even when what he sees (the mask) disagrees. Believing based on what we see is the easy way to live, but keeping in mind evidence that isn't right in front of us is harder but more correct, and that's why it's commendable.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">This sort of faith is overwhelmingly necessary in today's world. </span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">We need this faith to remind ourselves that the risks of air travel are still quite small even if the news is filled with reports of individual airplane crashes.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">We need this faith to believe that vaccines aren't injecting dangerous chemicals into our bodies that could make us sick or autistic.</span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">Some of us need this faith to drink </span><a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/02/soylent-60-meals-in.html" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">Soylent</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;"> for our meals even if it doesn't look like real food to us.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">Now let me argue that the positive examples of faith in the Bible are all examples of this sort of faith: belief in stronger evidence than what one can see, not belief in spite of evidence.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">Many Old Testament figures heard directly from God, which is pretty strong evidence once you believe that it's God speaking to you. Abraham didn't just have a hunch that he should sacrifice his son Isaac to God, but </span><a href="http://www.esvbible.org/Genesis+12:1-2/" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">God spoke to him directly</a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">. God tells Noah </span><a href="http://www.esvbible.org/Genesis+6:13-21/" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">how to build an ark</a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">, Moses </span><a href="http://www.esvbible.org/Exodus+14/" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">where to cross the Red Sea</a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">, and Joshua </span><a href="http://www.esvbible.org/Joshua+6:2-5/" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">how to march around Jericho</a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">. They are all commended for their faith in following what God had said to do, which overpowered the evidence their eyes gave them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">It's most interesting to me what happens when someone is unsure of whether this is really God's command. Talking to the burning bush, Moses realizes that his "God spoke to me through a bush" story will not convince the Israelites. Instead of mourning their lack of blind faith, God gives Moses </span><a href="http://www.esvbible.org/Exodus+4:1-9/" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">three signs to use</a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">, reproducible miracles (!) to convince them that Moses was sent by God. When Gideon similarly realizes the sheer odds against him being chosen to rescue Israel, he <a href="http://www.esvbible.org/Judges+6:36-40/">asks for two signs</a> involving the moisture in a fleece he lays out overnight. The combined likelihood of both of them coming true overwhelms his prior and convinces him to take on the role God had meant for him.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">Moving to the New Testament</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">, a Roman centurion <a href="http://www.esvbible.org/Matthew+8:10/">gets high commendation</a> from Jesus: "Truly, I tell you, with no one in Israel have I found such faith." What did he do? Like many others, he asked Jesus to heal someone close to him, his servant, who was paralyzed. But unlike others, he didn't expect that Jesus needed to lay hands on his servant or even come to his house. He inferred from examples he had heard that Jesus had authority over the universe and would be able to heal without touch. In other words, he didn't have to see this type of healing to infer that it was possible for Jesus.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">Later on, when the disciples see </span><a href="http://www.esvbible.org/Matthew+14:25/" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">Jesus walking on water</a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">, he reassures them that it is him. Peter, believing what Jesus had said, initially overcomes what his sight was telling him and started walking on the water, too, once Jesus called him out. His sight was too overpowering, though, and Jesus rebuked that sight-based fear being stronger than the conviction that Peter could in fact walk on water coming from Jesus's example and command.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">All of these examples have one more similarity: They're all talking specifically about faith in God (or Jesus) to fulfill what he had promised. Peter might have asked Jesus to invite him out upon the water, but Jesus still called him, "Come." In this way, this sort of faith could also be called simply "trust in God."</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">Of course, faith can't be applied when there isn't stronger evidence available to overcome our sight. This is the important distinction: It isn't enough to just "believe" that something will happen; your faith needs to be well-placed.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">I remember in elementary school seeing a slogan on a milk carton: "You can be anything if you try!" Not needing additional unfounded encouragement, my friends and I mocked this slogan, with one friend saying that he had tried turning into a chicken a bunch of times in different places but it didn't work.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">This is one of the problems I have with the two best-known film depictions of the story of the Exodus: <i>Prince of Egypt</i> (1998) and <i>Exodus: Gods and Kings</i> (2014). <i>Exodus</i> has gotten enough of a bad rap from Christians that I'll focus instead on <i>Prince of Egypt</i>. The main message of the movie seems to be </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">captured in the chorus of one of the songs, <i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gur8ccqrQ9c">When You Believe</a></i>:</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;">There can be miracles</span></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;">When you believe</span></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;">Though hope is frail</span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;"></span></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;">It's hard to kill</span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;"></span></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;">Who knows what miracles</span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;"></span></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;">You can achieve</span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;"></span></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;">When you believe</span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;"></span></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;">Somehow you will</span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;"></span></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;">You will when you</span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;"></span></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;">Believe</span></span></blockquote>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">While the song is catchy, that's really not the point. The main message of Exodus is not the power of the Israelites' belief, it's the power of God! They did not "achieve" miracles like the plagues, but witnessed them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">The trouble comes when both of these films try to make the Exodus story relate directly to the present in some unconventional way, which to be fair is something movies often try to do. In <i>Gods and Kings</i>, Ridley Scott assumed that when people hear from God it is always a bit unclear and riddled with alternative explanations, leaving God's will in a state of continual agonizing doubt even for Moses. </span></span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">Prince of Egypt</i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;"> tried to relate the divinely-ordained exodus to modern anti-slavery movements, subtly leaving God out of the picture to focus on untethered 'belief' as a commonality between the two.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">So, why should we have trust in God? What are those stronger reasons than our sight for following Jesus's teachings?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">Here's where we come full circle to the resurrection that we celebrate each Easter. Jesus rising from death showed his power, validating his claim to be God and hence the authority of his words.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">And the veracity of his resurrection is unparalleled. This deserves a future post on its own, but there is simply no reasonable alternative explanation for the resurrection that fits what we know from history came afterwards. Might he have simply staggered out of the grave having not actually died? No, that wouldn't inspire awe and worship by his followers. Might the disciples have secretly stolen the body? That wouldn't explain the eyewitness testimonies and radical willingness to die on the part of the persecuted early Christians. Surely someone would have leaked the lie under such persecution. Might they have simply hallucinated? Well, there aren't any examples of simultaneous shared hallucinations at any other point in history, and it also doesn't explain the empty tomb. Might the story have slowly evolved over time to include an actual resurrection that wasn't original? That runs into troubles explaining how this radical shift in message was achieved, or why the disciples even bothered to spread the message of their failed messiah.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">This is why we celebrate the resurrection every Easter Sunday. We know that our faith needs reminders of Jesus's power, conquering Satan, sin and death and kick-starting the church. We need the reminder of the conclusion we've already drawn ("He is risen!") for when our emotions and moods lead us to forget.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">Not convinced that Christianity is on the side of the evidence? Well, one week from today, I'm helping to organize a dialogue between two MIT professors on that very subject. We're calling it <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/1562198824048407/">Does Science Point to Atheism? A Christian chemist and agnostic physicist discuss God, miracles, and the evidence that shapes their perspectives.</a> Kind of a long title, but the emphasis will be on the evidence. What convinced them of their respective worldviews?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.4640007019043px;">It'll be at MIT next Monday, April 13th, at 7:30pm in 10-250. If you're coming, please get a ticket through Eventbrite, on the Facebook page I linked to here. Also RSVP on Facebook and invite your friends! It'll be a great discussion starter, as I hope this post is as well.</span></span><br />
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Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-38857079316216273602015-03-30T14:00:00.000-04:002015-05-21T12:49:07.123-04:00The Thermodynamics of Religious Conversion<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Back in November, I wrote an answer on Quora (which I'll link to later) that made me think even more about the subject afterwards. An outspoken atheist there had posed the following challenge:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Can anyone offer one serious, credible reason why I should consider a belief in your god?</b> <i>I'm not asking for empirical evidence. Just one credible reason we should discuss this further.</i></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Even though the OP had a vanishing chance of changing his mind about anything because of this question, I found a certain elegance and importance to how it was posed. So much conversation about beliefs hinges on whether this particular piece of evidence or line of argument is convincing or not convincing, but only rarely do you ask why you should be taking up the case in the court of your mind in the first place.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And it's an important question. The vast majority of our lives, we don't make significant changes to our mindset, thought processes, worldview. We might pick up a habit from a friend, find the wisdom in our parents' advice, or learn another useful lifehack from Buzzfeed here and there. But it's only in rare moments that we take a moment to step back and reexamine whether we want to entertain a much more dramatic shift.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let me try to analyze this in a different light. If you're already well-versed in thermodynamics, you can probably skim/skip this section.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Chemists frequently care about how quickly a chemical reaction takes place. To help analyze this, they often draw diagrams that look something like this:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(source: http://www.kentchemistry.com/images/links/Kinetics/aim4.h9.jpg)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In the vertical axis, we have the potential energy, where lower energies are more favorable, like gravity. In the horizontal axis, we have this generic "reaction coordinate" which is rarely precisely defined but often means the change in some angle or bond length.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In this diagram, the products (to the right) are more energetically favorable than the reactants (on the left). But to get between them, they have to go through a transition state that's higher in energy than both of them. The energy gap labelled "B" in this diagram is known as the <i>activation energy</i>. I love making activation energy analogies to everyday life, like how I sometimes don't want to get out of bed in the morning because of the effort that would take, even if I do want to <i>be</i> out of bed and working on something...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyways, another thing chemists learn is that if a reaction can go in one direction, it nearly always can and does go in the other direction as well. So if this diagram was level, if the reactants had the exact same amount of stored energy as the products (A = D), then the reaction would even proceed in reverse as well until the two sides are equally balanced.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In fact, left alone, this reaction will always eventually equilibrate to a certain ratio of products to reactants, depending only on the energy gap A - D and the temperature. The larger that gap, and the colder the temperature, the higher percentage of products will be produced.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But this only happens <i>eventually</i>. If the activation energy is high enough, it might take way too long for it to matter for all practical purposes. But if it's low enough, they'll quickly reach the proper equilibrium concentrations. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Chemists distinguish these two cases by saying that the former are under </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">kinetic control</i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> and the latter are on </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">thermodynamic control</i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">, by which consideration determines the concentrations on a timescale we care about.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Finally, a good catalyst speeds up the reaction by lowering the activation barrier, often with the purpose of switching a reaction that used to be under kinetic control to being under thermodynamic control. Another way to make this switch is to heat up the compounds (assuming that won't cause a different reaction), because extra heat provides additional energy that could be used to cross the barrier. But increasing the temperature also makes the less energetically favorable alternatives comparably more attractive, so it changes what the equilibrium distribution is.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I think many of you can see where this is going by now. Religious conversion is also a reaction, and the same principles apply. There's an activation barrier, from both intellectual and social concerns, to considering converting one way or another that you have to surmount in order to change your mind.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There's also often a thermodynamic gap that steadily pulls people in one direction or the other over time. You don't get a lot of people converting to Norse mythology these days, because it really doesn't have a lot going for it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A good example of a catalyst in this context is the internet. The accessibility of information dramatically reduces the cost to learning about a new religion, and sometimes new communities even form online. The result is to make people more likely to convert one way or another, probably without shifting the equilibrium.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The role of temperature also analogizes. It seems to me that middle and high school years are comparatively hot, formative times, when people are most willing to redefine their worldview. But teenagers' mood swings tend to more frequently push them into weirder perspectives that aren't ultimately the best for them, just as how extra heat promotes higher-energy states.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">By contrast, the older you get, the more you cool down and apart from the flash of a occasional crisis, you tend stick to what you decided to believe when you were younger. It's a double-edged sword: At cooler temperatures, the conversions tend to go in the same direction, but take a longer time to happen. Often you need a catalyst like cancer or the loss of a loved one to get you to reevaluate your worldview, but having lived longer, you can then see the differences more starkly than when you were a teenager.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And the question I want to pose to everyone today is: <b>Is your worldview under kinetic control or thermodynamic control?</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you're under kinetic control, you probably haven't thought about this much. Maybe you're like many of my "ignostic" undergrad friends at Caltech: You'd call yourself an agnostic out of ignorance, never really considering the question. Or maybe you're a sheltered Christian blindly following whatever your parents believe without taking the time to think through it for yourself.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you're under thermodynamic control, by comparison, you've seen it all. You can weigh the advantages and disadvantages of each of the major religions and philosophies, and know where you stand. Maybe you've converted yourself from one worldview to another, so you know quite well what both of those options are. Or maybe you haven't, but at least you've checked it out.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You're probably expecting me to say that it's always better to be under thermodynamic control than kinetic control. After all, it's always thermodynamics in the long run, and if you're just going to convert when you get cancer some time in the future, you might as well do it now and start to live in that better frame of mind.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But this is only true if the thermodynamic differences are great enough. If there's really no difference between religions, if they all teach the same truths and lead to the same outcomes, then it doesn't really matter whether you've given them each a shot. Might as well just continue with whatever you already personally believe and encourage everyone to just mind each others' business.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Which brings me back to the Quora question I opened with. Rephrased:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Can anyone offer me a reason I should climb the activation energy to take a good, hard look at your worldview?</b> <i>I'm not asking for you to push me down the hill into that perspective. Just a reason to give myself enough energy to consider converting.</i></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I <i>think</i> I'm under thermodynamic control here. I've <a href="http://www.quora.com/How-would-your-life-change-if-you-found-definitive-proof-that-there-is-in-fact-no-god/answer/Sam-Elder">played out in my head</a> what it would look like for me to become an atheist/agnostic. Last year, I was part of the <a href="http://studentlife.mit.edu/content/addir-interfaith-program">MIT Addir Fellows Program</a>, an interfaith discussion group, meeting weekly to discuss our different faiths. My group included two Mormons, a Hindu, a Jew, a former Muslim, a lapsed Catholic, a well-considered agnostic and one other Christian. Outside of that group, I've also had a lot of conversations with friends about what they believe, particularly in college.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And from my perspective, Christianity is by far the best worldview. I laid out the biggest reasons in my <a href="http://www.quora.com/Can-anyone-offer-one-serious-credible-reason-why-I-should-consider-a-belief-in-your-god/answer/Sam-Elder">answer</a> to that question. It's pretty short, but I can repeat my three big points here:</span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Christians grow on a personal level, as we recognize our own errors and learn to confront them without taking it personally.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We have a loving community all over the world within which we have the freedom to challenge each other to grow.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Christianity changes your worldview for the better, making you more selfless and connecting you to a movement bigger than yourself.</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If those benefits strike you as significant, maybe you should consider switching to thermodynamic control, at least with respect to Christianity.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But I can also argue for switching over to thermodynamic control from a rationalist perspective. Or really, I don't need to, because it's already been done before. In <a href="http://www.yudkowsky.net/rational/virtues/">The 12 Virtues of Rationality</a>, Eliezer Yudkowsky (author of <i><a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/03/the-best-of-harry-potter-and-methods-of.html">Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality</a></i>), writes:</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 20.7999992370605px;">The first virtue is curiosity. A burning itch to know is higher than a solemn vow to pursue truth. To feel the burning itch of curiosity requires both that you be ignorant, and that you desire to relinquish your ignorance. If in your heart you believe you already know, or if in your heart you do not wish to know, then your questioning will be purposeless and your skills without direction.</span><span style="background-color: transparent;"> [...]</span></blockquote>
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The second virtue is relinquishment. P. C. Hodgell said: “That which can be destroyed by the truth should be.” Do not flinch from experiences that might destroy your beliefs. The thought you cannot think controls you more than thoughts you speak aloud. Submit yourself to ordeals and test yourself in fire. [...]<span style="background-color: transparent;"> </span></blockquote>
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The third virtue is lightness. Let the winds of evidence blow you about as though you are a leaf, with no direction of your own. Beware lest you fight a rearguard retreat against the evidence, grudgingly conceding each foot of ground only when forced, feeling cheated. Surrender to the truth as quickly as you can.</blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Seeing worldviews as hypotheses, therefore, we should strive to reach thermodynamic equilibrium as quickly as possible. This actually has a clear analog in Bayesian reasoning, if we correspond the distributions of reactants and products in chemistry with our individual probability distributions over competing theories. (And both get computed from the partition function, which serves a mathematically identical normalizing role in each, but this is a tangent.) In Bayesian reasoning, the equilibrium corresponds to the distribution best supported by the data, so we'll be less wrong if we equilibrate as fast as possible.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So what's my call to action? How can you move from kinetic control to thermodynamic control?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you're a believer in some religion, particularly if you've been to college, it's probably quite possible that you can imagine <a href="http://www.quora.com/How-would-your-life-change-if-you-found-definitive-proof-that-there-is-in-fact-no-god/answer/Sam-Elder">like I did</a> what irreligious life would be like. Maybe you have other social groups that you'd end up hanging out with more rather than with your fellow believers. You can probably imagine living with approximately the same morals as you currently have without the religion to back them up. And if you're sheltered enough that this isn't the case, you probably aren't reading this in the first place.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'd also encourage all of you to join a group like the MIT Addir Fellows program to learn about other religions, if groups like that exist where you are. (If you're at MIT, now is about the season for them to seek <a href="http://studentlife.mit.edu/content/mit-interfaith-dialogue-program-application">applications</a> for next year, so go ahead and sign up!)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you're not a believer and might consider Christianity, this is also the best week to visit a church in your area! Easter Sunday services often get many newcomers, so you won't stand out. The message often focuses on the defining moment for the faith, too, so you'll jump straight to the crux of the issue.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And if you're in the Boston area, I'd like to personally invite you to attend my church's 11am Easter service with me. One of the reasons I picked <a href="http://www.coahchurch.org/">City on a Hill</a> when I first moved to Boston was because of how winsome the services were, so a non-Christian visitor would feel welcomed and not excluded. If you're coming from the MIT area, we can give you a ride to Brookline; just send me an e-mail.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Finally, some of you will probably be offended by the boldness of this post. In conversations about religion, and in particular Christianity, on a mailing list, one criticism I got to my comments was, "We've heard this all before. I didn't grow up as a Christian, but I attended youth groups in high school and gave Christianity its fair shot. The message of Christianity is already completely saturated in American culture. It's offensive to say that I should reconsider it."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If this is your reaction, here's what I'd say in response:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">First, it sure sounds like you think you've reached thermodynamic control already, so my message isn't directed at you. You took your chance to consider Christianity, and now you stand where you stand, and that's fine.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Second, I'd like to apologize for whatever negative experiences (or simply not that positive experiences) you might have had in churches in the past. The reality in the US is that there is so much religious diversity even within Christianity, that sometimes it can be really awesome but sometimes it can also not be so great. As faithful as I'd like to be, there are churches I would not attend even if they were the only ones in my area. I don't say this to throw anyone under the bus, but to say that I sympathize with those who've had negative experiences in a church.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And again, the church I'm part of here in Boston is the best I've seen so far. If you don't live in the Boston area or it isn't easy for you to get to MIT or Brookline, I'd generally recommend the church planting network that my church is part of, known as <a href="http://www.acts29network.org/find-churches/">Acts 29</a>. I've been to three other Acts 29 churches (in Duluth and Boulder, as well as another in Boston) and they were all similarly great.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Finally, I find it unfortunate that the "hottest" time in people's lives is also the time when those they interact with have the least maturity. It's sad that the impression many people have of Christians is what they got from their Christian high school classmates. Looking back, I was a horrible Christian back in high school, not loving towards my peers who weren't as smart as me and wrongly obsessed with proving the truth of creationism (more on that in future posts). I'm ashamed that that might be what my high school classmates think Christians are like.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yet one of the redeeming features of Christianity is personal growth, which makes it wrong to judge its effects based on the merits of someone who is only beginning that journey. Even churches mature as well, as I've been happy to see happen within my high school church as I've gotten to visit a couple times each year. Even if you think you considered Christianity back in high school and rejected it, it probably looks different and better later in life and might merit a reconsideration.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In fact, this explains a bit of the historical answer to why I'm a Christian (as opposed to my ongoing reasons). With all of its faults, my high school youth group wisely included a handful of mature 20-something mentors who provided me an example of what Christian life would look like if I wanted to continue pursuing it. Even if I didn't want to be like my Christian peers, they gave me a peek over the activation barrier to what life could be like less than a decade later if I remained a Christian. And that hope hasn't disappointed. :)</span></div>
Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-84183640620548209012015-03-16T16:30:00.000-04:002015-05-21T12:56:47.698-04:00The Best of Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This weekend, the wildly popular fanfiction <i>Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality</i>, written by Eliezer Yudkowsky, finally completed. With 122 chapters and around 650,000 words or 2,000 pages (over half as long as all seven of the original Harry Potter books combined), it's no walk in the park.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">While I've encouraged many of my friends to pick up the series, the time involved should not be taken lightly. With that in mind, I thought I'd put together a highlight reel containing, in my opinion, the best stand-alone chapters and/or passages, without spoiling too much of the plot.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thanks to my friends and fellow readers Ben Gunby, Megan Jackson and Timothy Johnson for some of the recommendations, as well as countless conversations about the chapters as we read them.</span><br />
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<a name='more'></a><h2>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A brief introduction to <i>HPMOR</i></span></h2>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The fanfiction is set in the Harry Potter universe, with a small number of changes that set the new plot into motion:</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Most prominently, instead of growing up under a staircase, Harry is raised as a child prodigy under the loving care of an Oxford professor of biochemistry. Through reading copious science and science fiction, Harry enters the wizarding world with most of a rationalist worldview and a rather big head. Yes, it matters immensely who Petunia Evans married.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Professor Quirrell is transformed into an enigmatic and super awesome yet still sketchy Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Various other characters are strengthened, including major ones like Draco, Hermione, Dumbledore, and McGonagall. Some chapters are even written from Draco's perspective, making him into less of a stock character.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The chapter titles describe the rationalist "lesson" being illustrated through the plot of those chapters (or sequences of chapters), such as "The Planning Fallacy" and "Belief in Belief."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The entire plot takes place in Harry's first year at school.</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Well, the last one is more of a result of the first, since as you'll see, some mysteries get resolved a whole lot quicker if you're actually rational.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'll list the examples I want to share in the order they occur in the fanfic. For each, I'll trace out exactly what you should read by giving you search terms; if you search in your browser, you should be able to highlight the relevant search word for the ending, so you know where to stop. In most cases, what happens before and after is simply unrelated and won't spoil anything, but isn't the part that I'm trying to highlight.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Harry learns about the existence of magic</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When Harry gets his Hogwarts acceptance letter, his adopted parents argue about whether magic is real, and Harry proposes a test: Bring a Hogwarts professor to demonstrate some magic for them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Read</b>: <a href="http://hpmor.com/chapter/2">Chapter 2</a>, "Everything I Believe is False," from the beginning to "escaped."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hahaha, you can really see Harry's scientific background coming out here. No, I don't even know what FTL signalling is, though I have friends who do.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Besides using language like "updating on an event of infinitesimal probability," I identified with Harry when I first read this because it captures part of my reaction to reading plausible and even likely claims of <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2014/06/the-apologetic-value-of-modern-day.html">present-day miracles</a> (in books by <a href="http://smile.amazon.com/Miracles-Journalist-Looks-Modern-Experiences-ebook/dp/B0082AW2OC/">Stafford</a> and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Miracles-What-They-Happen-Change/dp/0525954422">Metaxas</a> in particular). What?!? These things are real? We thought we understood the world! It's also how I imagine most of my atheist friends reacting when I share these things with them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I think we Christians don't realize the huge hurdle scientists, particularly physicists, need to get over before buying even the plausibility that miracles can happen. The program of determinism, breaking things down into smaller parts and understanding each of those smaller parts, is fundamentally at odds with the Christian theistic conception of a world where minds are basic entities.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But at the same time, Harry follows what he sees and immediately, while kicking and screaming, gives into the reality that magic exists. Would that a similar demonstration of power could win over today's real-life rationalists! Alas, miracles cannot be controlled in the same way magic can, which is where the analogy breaks down.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There's HUMoR too!</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wandering around Diagon Alley, Harry gets slightly frustrated by how many people recognize him and thank him for something he doesn't even remember doing. So when Harry gets fitted for robes, he decides to try the opposite trick on the other boy getting fitted with him. Little does he know...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Read</b>: <a href="http://hpmor.com/chapter/5">Chapter 5</a>, "The Fundamental Attribution Error," from "shopfront" to the end.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you're curious, the Fundamental Attribution Error is the error of attributing general, unchanging qualities to others based on events you see that are more often explained through circumstances. In Harry's case, people were giving him a "kills Dark Lords" character trait when he doesn't even remember doing it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Harry and Hermione meet</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">McGonagall encourages Harry to find Hermione, which he does by asking if anyone knew the six quarks or where he could find her. When she names them, he knows who she is. Their ensuing conversation is exciting but bizarre, as two brilliant child prodigies meet and Harry immediately challenges Hermione's memory and wit. This puzzle is particularly insightful:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Read</b>: <a href="http://hpmor.com/chapter/8">Chapter 8</a>, "Positive Bias," from "cylinder" to "euphoria."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thus begins their great rivalry, which provides a lot of entertainment to the rest of the book and builds up two of the most best characters.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Sorting Hat</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When the Sorting Hat comes out, this time not all of the major characters end up in Gryffindor, as if it's the only house that matters. No, based on a scene on the train, Hermione and Neville end up where they really belong based on their character:</span><br />
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"Granger, Hermione!"</div>
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Hermione broke loose and ran full tilt towards the Sorting Hat, picked it up and jammed the patchy old clothwork down hard over her head, making Harry wince. Hermione had been the one to explain to <em>him</em> about the Sorting Hat, but she certainly didn't <em>treat</em> it like an irreplaceable, vitally important, 800-year-old artefact of forgotten magic that was about to perform intricate telepathy on her mind and didn't seem to be in very good physical condition.</div>
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"RAVENCLAW!"</div>
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And talk about your foregone conclusions. Harry didn't see why Hermione had been so tense about it. In what weird alternative universe would that girl <em>not</em> be Sorted into Ravenclaw? If Hermione Granger didn't go to Ravenclaw then there was no good reason for Ravenclaw House to exist.</div>
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Hermione arrived at the Ravenclaw table and got a dutiful cheer; Harry wondered whether the cheer would have been louder, or quieter, if they'd had any idea just what level of competition they'd welcomed to their table. Harry knew pi to 3.141592 because accuracy to one part in a million was enough for most practical purposes. Hermione knew one hundred digits of pi because that was how many digits had been printed in the back of her maths textbook.</div>
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Neville Longbottom went to Hufflepuff, Harry was glad to see. If that House really did contain the loyalty and camaraderie it was supposed to exemplify, then a Houseful of reliable friends would do Neville a whole world of good. Clever kids in Ravenclaw, evil kids in Slytherin, wannabe heroes in Gryffindor, and everyone who does the actual work in Hufflepuff.</div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So what happens when Harry is under the Hat? Well, it gets complicated...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Read</b>: <a href="http://hpmor.com/chapter/10">Chapter 10</a>, all of it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Beyond all of the Houses being strengthened into a worthwhile version of their character traits (rather than being just bystanders to a showdown between good Gryffindor and evil Slytherin), what I like about this chapter is that Harry is forced to wrestle with the importance of ambition. He's consumed by the fear that he'll become just another child prodigy that flashes and fades. I'd be lying if I said I haven't given that some thought as my own ambition has died a slow death.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Also, you gotta admit, having your thoughts read and conducting a conversation that way is pretty mind-bendingly awesome.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Chamber of Secrets</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The passage I wanted to highlight here is so short (in Chapter 14) that I'll just block-quote it. It also happens to entirely resolve the plot of the original second Harry Potter book. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Once Professor McGonagall realizes that Harry can speak Parseltongue...</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">"I... see," Professor McGonagall said. "And if, perhaps, you were to discover the entrance to Salazar Slytherin's legendary Chamber of Secrets, an entrance that you and you alone could open..."</span></div>
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"I would close the entrance and report to you at once so that a team of experienced magical archaeologists could be assembled," Harry said promptly. "Then I would open up the entrance again and they would go in very carefully to make sure that there was nothing dangerous. I might go in later to look around, or if they needed me to open up something else, but it would be after the area had been declared clear and they had photographs of how everything looked before people started tromping around their priceless historical site."</div>
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Professor McGonagall sat there with her mouth open, staring at him like he'd just turned into a cat.</div>
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"It's obvious if you're not a Gryffindor," Harry said kindly.</div>
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"I think," Professor McGonagall said in a rather choked voice, "that you <em>far</em> underestimate the rarity of common sense, Mr. Potter."</div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Well, that settles it! Next book?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Using a Time Turner to Prove P=NP</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Harry gets a Time-Turner from Professor McGonagall to correct a problem with his sleep where he operates regularly on a 26-hour day. Of course, he immediately has one of those "you just turned into a cat" moments upon realizing this. A while later, he tries to see what the Time Turner can really do...</span><br />
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<b style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Read</b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">: <a href="http://hpmor.com/chapter/17">Chapter 17</a>, "Locating the Hypothesis," beginning to "scariest."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you're confused, or it's been a while since you read the third Harry Potter book, let me explain how Time Turners in the Harry Potter universe work: Whatever happens as a result of individuals using Time Turners, the universe somehow magically turns out to be consistent with itself. The author adds, "in the simplest way possible" in a later chapter. This renders our usual notions of causality and even free will obsolete, because causal arrows can point backwards in time, and individuals' wills are constrained to make the universe consistent (e.g. Harry writing exactly the same message that he had already read).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In this particular test, Harry attacks a famous problem, wondering if a computer (himself) with a time turner could do things that we fundamentally believe computers today can't do. (Though we haven't proven that they can't yet; this is the famous "P=NP" problem.) Having access to such a supercomputer, essentially, could dramatically change basically anything that uses a computer.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Studying Magic Like a Scientist</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">How would a scientist approach magic? Harry, as the child prodigy magical scientist wannabe, was about to find out.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Read</b>: <a href="http://hpmor.com/chapter/22">Chapter 22</a>, "The Scientific Method," "stained" to "<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH</span>."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">What went wrong here? Well, Harry is frustrated because his first hypothesis didn't turn out to be true. But the story is clear: This magical world is not incomprehensible. The way Hermione pronounces things, and her own beliefs about what she's saying, affect the result in a consistent way. It just doesn't work the way Harry expects.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I have a similar hope for investigating claims of miracles. Some people propose that it might be <a href="http://slatestarcodex.com/2015/01/11/the-phatic-and-the-anti-inductive/">anti-inductive</a>, in that God might not desire to be known, but thankfully that's not the God that the Bible presents. By no means will it be easy, though, like Harry's research project.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Best Addition (In My Opinion): Battles</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The new and improved Professor Quirrell declares that the usual classroom time is not enough to catch them up on everything they need to learn in his class, which he renames "Battle Magic." No, you need real-world experience.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Read</b>: <a href="http://hpmor.com/chapter/30">Chapters 30</a> <a href="http://hpmor.com/chapter/31">and 31</a>, "Working in Groups." You can ignore the part about the marshmallow.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">I don't have a lot to say about this besides that I really enjoyed it. It's like an action movie, made more exciting by the personal dynamics involved. My favorite part of the story, and this is just the beginning. Chapter 33 is another spoiler-free battle chapter with an epic finish if you're curious, but I won't make another section for it.</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dueling with Mad-Eye Moody</span></h2>
<h2>
<div style="font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">For a taste of the tone later on, in chapter 86 (of 122), Mad-Eye Moody visits Hogwarts to discuss what has been going on with Dumbledore, McGonagall and Harry Potter. Harry objects to a plan they were discussing (not of particular importance) and Moody challenges him: Hit me with a spell to get the right to contradict me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Read</b>: <a href="http://hpmor.com/chapter/86">Chapter 86</a>, "Multiple Hypothesis Testing," from "trainee" to "cleverness." Be careful around the endpoints of this one.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">This is sort of like an action scene to me; it's awesome to me to see how Time Turners and Harry's cloak come into play in the duel, and even then they're not enough. And it makes the duel a fascinating puzzle you could sort of try to figure out along with Harry.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">---</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">There's a lot more I wish I could include, but too many scenes have spoilers (often as short as phrases like "ever since..."), especially later on in the book. If this tasting inspires you to read more, feel free to pick it up for yourself in your spare time!</span></div>
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Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-42424090259641995422015-03-09T15:00:00.000-04:002015-05-21T12:55:55.099-04:00Feeling intimidated by math<div style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border: none; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you knew me in high school or
undergrad, this wouldn't have been something you’d expect that I’d talk about.
You might even have tried to explain to me how you had felt intimidated in some
math class, and thought that I couldn't possibly understand. Well, I think I've met my
match here in grad school, at the research level.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This thought struck me a couple of weeks ago while I was sitting in a seminar organized by my advisor and three other professors. Two of them were discussing some problem, referencing results by memory from papers they both knew in the literature, and I was completely lost. I began to feel like I was wasting my time being there, I would never be able to discuss anything like that, and why was I even trying to get better at this whole grad school thing if I had no chance of becoming a professor...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you've been to grad school, in math or probably most other fields, this story is probably one you have experienced time and again. I remember one grad student telling me several years ago that you spend undergrad learning more and more things, but grad school realizing just how little you know. At the time, I thought this was just a humble admission, like being impressed with the work of others that you understood, not like feeling completely helpless because you don't even know where to begin to be able to think like that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Like that</i>. This is where I caught myself. What am I doing <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/02/selma-protest-tactics-and-false-hope-of.html">comparing myself to others</a> again? Besides, a part of me spoke, you're comparing your present self as a grad student with less than two years experience in this field to their present selves as professors with a decade or more experience. And have you ever looked back a year, let alone five or six years, on yourself? You'll change in ways that you don't ever imagine.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So I continued going to the seminar. Most of the time, I'm still lost. But one week near the end, one of the professors mentioned a topic that I recognized. He talked about a recent paper that I had actually read last semester for the little reading half-class that I took, which none of these professors happened to be involved with. I had presented that paper before the seminar, literally the only classwork I did last semester.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So I woke up (sadly, almost literally) when he mentioned that problem, and how he'd be very interested if we could improve a particular technique on this problem. I noted it and the next time I saw him a couple days later, asked him more about the details. I also talked about it with my advisor, and now it looks like the three of us and a couple more are going to meet up to talk about the problem later this week. Exciting!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This side project is still just in its infancy, but I wanted to share this story with anyone who might be discouraged in grad school. No, you might not feel as smart as the professors, but <b>you really just shouldn't compare</b>.</span></div>
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Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-13305540652637596272015-03-02T15:00:00.000-05:002015-05-21T12:49:07.111-04:00Mindless Replicators<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In thinking about <a href="http://christian-rationalist.blogspot.com/2015/02/selma-protest-tactics-and-false-hope-of.html">my discussion last week</a> based on the movie <i>Selma</i>, one question struck me later as obviously the natural question that I didn't ask:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Why is activism dead?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In fact, the movie gives a striking example of activism working as it's supposed to, and it isn't far off from reality, insofar as the Selma marches did change the national consciousness and put political pressure on President Johnson.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And yet, as I wrote about last week, it doesn't seem to be accomplishing as much today. This should be a bit puzzling: Surely it would be even more possible to organize protests with today's social media. It's easier than ever for great orators to put out content to attract others to their cause. In another part of the world, ISIS is literally taking over territory with recruits from all over the world. Take a moment to think about it, to <a href="http://lesswrong.com/lw/if/your_strength_as_a_rationalist/">notice your confusion</a> (at least, if you're as confused as I was): Why is protesting so ineffective?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The best explanation for this problem that I've come across is by Scott Alexander, called the </span><a href="http://slatestarcodex.com/2014/12/17/the-toxoplasma-of-rage/" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Toxoplasma of Rage</a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">. It's really an excellent article that I'd encourage you to read if you have the chance; Scott is a far better writer than I am. But if you don't have the time, let me summarize it briefly here:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In today's social media environment, the public's attention is grabbed by whatever is the most controversial. As a result, honest and deliberate activism is effectively sidelined in favor of topics, arguments and strategies that are more likely to cause people to pick sides and argue incessantly.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/catesish/help-am-i-going-insane-its-definitely-blue">Sound familiar?</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Scott offers many well-known and more important examples of this:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I) PETA is controversial for their methods of promoting veganism, but everyone's heard of them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">II) Three highly publicized rape allegations have not held up to closer scrutiny, despite only 2-8% of general rape allegations being false.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">III) Michael Brown became the racially motivated police brutality case that everyone talked about instead of the much more clean-cut case of Eric Garner. The main effect of Ferguson on public opinion was not to increase the already high approval rate for police body cameras, but to make whites and blacks even more divergent on their opinion of the police.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">IV) Scott's own posts get much more viewership if they are about politics, race, and gender, especially if they are posts he'll regret writing because they cause people to fight.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He then reminds us of the analogy that the label "viral" comes from. Some ideas are able to take us over, their hosts, and use our sharing and reblogging abilities to propagate themselves. If something ever tugs or screams at you saying that you have to pay attention to it and cause others to pay attention, that's a virus at work.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">---</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sometimes it can be oh so subtle, though. Back in September 2012, I got an e-mail from a friend advertising a "Bible Verse Exchange."</span><br />
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Hi All!<span style="background-color: transparent;"> </span></div>
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We're starting a collective, constructive, and hopefully uplifting <span class="il">Bible</span> <span class="il">verse</span> <span class="il">exchange</span>. We hope you will participate. We have picked those we think would be faithful and make it fun. Please send an encouraging <span class="il">Bible</span> <span class="il">verse </span>to the person whose name is in position 1 (even if you don't know him/her) and it should be a favorite <span class="il">verse</span> that has lifted you when you were experiencing challenging times. Actually, the best one is the one you know in your head and can type right now. </div>
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Don't agonize over it - it is one you reach for when you need it; or the one that you always turn to. After you've sent the <span class="il">verse</span> to the person in position 1 below and only to that person, copy this letter into a new email, move my name to position 1 and put your name in position 2. Only my name and your name should show when you send your email. </div>
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Send to 10 friends BCC (blind copy). It's fun to see where they come from. The turnaround is fast as there are only 2 names on the list and you only have to do it once.</div>
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May God bless you as you share God's Word.</div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Two of my friends' names followed (the second being the one who sent me the e-mail, of course). I thought that sounded like a decent idea, and starred it to get back to it later.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then another friend sent me the same e-mail. And another. And another. Yes, I have a lot of Christian friends and Caltech is tight-knit. But then I realized that this was nothing more than a chain letter, cleverly disguised. It has all of the classic symptoms:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1) Guilt-tripping you into participating: "We have picked those we think would be faithful" suggests that those who don't pass it on are unfaithful.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2) Short-circuiting you into responding quickly without noticing the chain letter format: "Actually, the best one is the one you know in your head and can type right now."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3) And, of course, the pyramid scheme. By only sending one person a verse, you'll get 100 in return! If you're at the top of the pyramid, that is...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After some far-longer-than-productive discussions with friends (probably wasting more time than I would have by propagating it), I tried to vaccinate my friend network by posting <a href="https://www.facebook.com/elder.sam/posts/4607996320351">a warning</a> on Facebook which encapsulated what I was most concerned about.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Well, that warning wasn't entirely effective, since a couple weeks later, I was able to observe a form that was even more virulent (new parts are in bold):</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">We're starting a collective, constructive, and hopefully uplifting <span class="il">Bible</span> <span class="il">verse</span> <span class="il">exchange</span>. We hope you will participate. We have picked those we think would be faithful and make it fun.</span><u></u><u></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><br />Please send an encouraging <span class="il">Bible</span> <span class="il">verse</span> to the person whose name is in position 1 (even if you don't know him/her) and it should be a favorite <span class="il">verse</span> that has lifted you when you were experiencing challenging times. Actually, the best one is the one you know in your head and can type right now. Don't agonize over it- it is one you reach for when you need it; or the one that you always turn to.<br /><br />After you've sent the <span class="il">verse</span> to the person in position 1 below and only to that person, copy this letter into a new email, move my name to position 1 and put your name in position 2. Only my name and your name should show when you send your email. Send to 10 friends BCC (blind copy). <b>If you cannot do this within 5 days, let us know so it will be fair to those participating.</b> It's fun to see where they come from. <b>Seldom does anyone drop out because we all need new ideas and inspiration.</b> The turnaround is fast as there are only 2 names on the list and you only have to do it once.<br /><br />May God bless you as you share God's Word.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Even with this more virulent version, I feel a bit bad criticizing this example. If somehow there formed a community of people simply sharing encouraging Bible verses with each other, it would be a good thing. Unfortunately, the world of memetics is regulated by survival of the fittest, which means that the viruses that spread are not the ones actually geared towards helping us so much as towards propagating themselves.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">---</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Scott personifies the coordination problems we face in his character of the demon Moloch, a name which he takes from the second part of Allan Ginsberg's poem <a href="http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/179381">Howl</a>. In </span><a href="http://slatestarcodex.com/2014/07/30/meditations-on-moloch/" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Meditations on Moloch</a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">, he gives fourteen more examples of coordination problems, what he calls multipolar traps, that just leave me frustrated and partly surprised that the world is not in complete disarray.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Unfortunately, the problem is even bigger than that.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let me summarize Scott's diagnosis in these two articles about what is wrong with the world:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1) Multipolar traps (like the prisoner's dilemma) encourage collectively irrational behavior while everyone is behaving rationally individually.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2) Topics and articles (and even dresses) that generate controversy rise to our collective attention much more frequently than topics on which collective discussion will actually make the world a better place.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What is <a href="http://slatestarcodex.com/2014/12/19/nobody-is-perfect-everything-is-commensurable/">Scott's solution</a>? Stop worrying about protesting and give money to charity instead (unless you believe that joining a protest will objectively make a bigger difference). Unfortunately, charity is susceptible to exactly the same problem.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It seems to me that there are two camps when it comes to talking about charity. There are the charity optimists like Scott, which I most frequently observe in the effective altruist community. They are very excited about the opportunity to change the world, frequently through donating money. They gather in organizations like <a href="https://www.givingwhatwecan.org/">Giving What We Can</a>, and look to <a href="http://www.givewell.org/charities/top-charities">GiveWell</a> for charity advice. Besides Peter Singer, perhaps one of the most well-publicized examples is <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2013/05/31/join-wall-street-save-the-world/">Jason Trigg</a>, a fellow math competitor whom I roomed with at the Math Olympiad Program a decade ago.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And then there are the charity pessimists, who tend to be a little bit older and more experienced with charities. One of journalist David Brooks' <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/26/opinion/david-brooks-the-sidney-awards-part-i.html?_r=0">Sidney</a> <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/30/opinion/david-brooks-the-sidney-awards-part-2.html">Awards</a> for this year went to Michael Hobbes for his excellent but troubling essay, <a href="http://www.newrepublic.com/article/120178/problem-international-development-and-plan-fix-it">"Stop Trying to Save the World."</a> Hobbes examines some of the highly publicized charity flops, like PlayPumps, the charity that was going to harness the energy of playing children to pump water up from wells, but wasn't nearly as effective as expected. In doing so, he makes some pretty good points about how we can collectively suffer a winner's curse of sorts: the charities with the largest effect sizes are actually just more likely to be either fraudulent or fluky. Perhaps it isn't actually possible to save the world with one big idea?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What troubles me the most is that these two groups don't seem to be talking to each other. The effective altruists agree that most charities are useless, but Hobbes spends a while criticizing the Deworm the World Initiative, one of GiveWell's top recommended charities. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I used to think that GiveWell was proud of how stingy it was, only marking four charities as its best (and encouraging people to give to those charities), among hundreds reviewed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yet when I look a little closer at Deworm the World Initiative, I see a charity that seems specifically bred to advertise itself to organizations like GiveWell. Even the name of the NGO sponsoring it, Evidence Action, suggests that they want to prominently advertise that their work is evidence-based. Being properly skeptical of memes, I would predict that they are probably overselling this point. Indeed, as Hobbes points out, the single study backing up their work was on a much smaller scale than their ambitious plans. Moreover, different parts of the world have different limiting problems, so deworming might indeed have been quite effective in Kenya but be completely useless in India.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let me be clear: DtWI could end up being a very effective charity; GiveWell is probably right to sponsor it and from what I've seen, I'm sure they will provide some pressure on Evidence Action to do more follow-up studies. But something still gets lost in translation along the way. Lay effective altruists like myself see GiveWell's pages and pages of research and think, "We must finally have found the good charities to give money to, based on evidenced approaches." GiveWell sees Evidence Action and maybe doesn't entirely trust their results to fully generalize, but they're clearly better than most other charities, so they earn a recommendation. What sometimes gets lost is that tentativeness, that we don't really know how to save the world, and even if DtWI is right, we really only know how to prevent diseases like malaria and parasite infections.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">---</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So what is my solution to these problems? Since I'm a Christian, is this where I'm supposed to point to God?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Actually, that's not too far off. I don't mean to suggest that the answer is a Christian version of escapism, where we just resign ourselves to a hard life on earth and long for heaven. No, I'm of the school of thought that God is actively working through the church to redeem this world from its brokenness, even now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Through the church? Yes, I mean that. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Pope Francis are very public examples, but most of the churches I've been to are actively involved in improving the world both locally and globally, and thinking carefully about how we do that. In the fall, I joined a financial discipleship group at my church that literally opened up our budgets to each other and discussed how much we could give and to where (among other topics), eventually supporting the Against Malaria Foundation and a guy in our church who needed our help. Churches provide the context and trust for opportunities like that.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">More generally, the solution to problems of coordination has to take some form of centralization. In the simplest examples of multipolar traps like the tragedy of the commons, the standard solution is some kind of governmental regulation. In a world where most charities are much better at raising funds than using them effectively, the solution is to collectively channel a substantial fraction of those funds through organizations like GiveWell that do the due diligence.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Centralization isn't perfect, of course. The church, government and GiveWell all have their own blind spots and are susceptible to corruption. But at least centralization adjusts the incentive schemes enough to discourage viral behavior.</span></div>
Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-17394750432203068342015-02-23T15:00:00.000-05:002015-05-21T12:49:07.117-04:00Selma, protest tactics, and the false hope of moderation<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I watched the Academy Awards (yes, the whole thing) with my church community group last night, and one of the most moving moments was when Common and John Legend performed the song <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEFRPLM0nEA">Glory</a> from Selma, right before they won the award for Best Original Song. As they pointed out in <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sy2WPtARfqU">their acceptance speech</a>, <i>Selma</i> is a timely movie, because its spirit exists today in movements from the US to France to Hong Kong.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I came across</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> o</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">ne of the best discussions of the movie on a website I normally peruse for its excellent sports analysis. Mark Harris of Grantland <a href="http://grantland.com/features/selma-oscars-academy-awards-historical-accuracy-controversy/">primarily responds</a> to some of the criticism of the movie's portrayal of President Lyndon B. Johnson, but has many interesting things to say along the way. His defense of the genre of historical fiction as providing value beyond mere recitations of facts is stirring, but I want to focus on another point of his.</span><br />
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<a name='more'></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What is </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Selma</i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> really about? Harris's answer matched my own impressions pretty well, so I'll just let him talk:</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<em style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Harriet Text', Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px;"><span class="drop-cap" style="box-sizing: border-box; float: left; font-family: 'Harriet Display', Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 55px; line-height: 0.95em; margin-right: 0.05em;">S</span>elma </em><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Harriet Text', Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px;">is, among many other things, a movie about tactics, and about how disagreements between men who see themselves as ideological comrades with strategic differences play out in the struggle for social justice. Those tensions are enacted on different fronts and in several pairings — not just in the scenes between King and Johnson, but in those between King’s men and the on-site leaders of the Student Non-Violent Coordinating Committee (including future U.S. Representative John Lewis); between Johnson and Governor George Wallace (a smug racist who nevertheless views himself as the reasonable middle between Johnson’s softheartedness and the outright thuggery of Dallas County, Alabama Sheriff Jim Clark); and, by implication, between King and the less pastorally inclined, more outspoken Malcolm X. One of the most brilliant and honest connections that DuVernay draws between King and Johnson is that, like so many leaders, each man sees himself as a righteous warrior caught in the middle.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The tactics were also what most struck me about the movie, particularly how it portrayed King as "not as a martyr or plaster saint but as a brilliant tactician</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">" (again, Harris's words). <i>Selma</i> portrays him and the SCLC as deliberately planning to protest in Selma because of how they predicted Sheriff Clark would react: when the local SNCC leadership says he is more like Bull Connor of Birmingham than Laurie Pritchett of Albany, King knows he has found his protest site.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tactics are what separate, in my mind, King's activism from the examples Common and Legend bring to mind today. While the marches following Ferguson and the Charlie Hebdo shootings also come to mind, the example I followed the closest was the Umbrella Revolution in Hong Kong.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Starting in late September 2014, many protesters (peaking over 100,000) physically blocked key commercial locations in downtown Hong Kong. They were protesting the electoral reforms that require any candidate for the 2017 Hong Kong Chief Executive election to be approved by a smaller, presumably Beijing-picked, committee before appearing on the ballot, effectively ending universal suffrage, at least in the eyes of the protesters.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The protest was remarkable for how peaceful and clean it was, and initially it appeared that the police use of tear gas was going to escalate the situation in ultimate favor of the protesters, as it had in 1965. But the police backed off and instead played the long game, waiting for the protesters' energy to wane over time and the international spotlight to wander away before finally clearing them out in November and December.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The election in question won't take place until 2017, but as of now (February 2015), the protests in Hong Kong appear to have basically failed to accomplish any of their goals.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One difference I see in approach is that King's activism was active, seeking out the locations with which to protest and draw awareness to his cause. Sure, events like the deaths of Jimmie Lee Jackson and James Reeb ignited his rhetoric, but King had a goal in mind all along.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">By contrast, today's protests seem to be mostly reactive. An event or trend happens to spark the (inter)national consciousness, and protesters angrily react. Maybe it isn't even really clear what they want (<a href="http://marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2015/01/the-effect-of-police-body-cameras.html">police body cameras</a>? h/t <a href="http://slatestarcodex.com/2015/01/17/links-12014-link-for-you-know-not-whence-you-came-nor-why/">SSC</a>). Or maybe it is clear what they want, but the highest levels of leadership are not nearly as sympathetic as Johnson was (as in Hong Kong). Either way, it amounts to poor strategy and tactics.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In talking about this, I want to be completely clear: Like President Johnson, I agree with the purpose of these protests, but I just don't see the tactics succeeding. The Umbrella Revolution in particular moved me, but racially biased police brutality in the US is also an important matter of justice, and free speech an important value to maintain. And this is another way this movie is timely, as it focuses on relationships between people who find themselves "ideological comrades with strategic differences."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The last sentence of that Grantland quote also struck me in a more personal way. <i>Selma</i> depicts each of the major characters in the story as moderates in their own eye: Johnson between King and Wallace, </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">King between Johnson and Malcolm X, and even </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wallace between Johnson and Clark. While the film clearly depicts King as the hero, it also shows how each man saw himself as the hero, which Johnson's current apologists ironically confirm in their criticism.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've noticed similar tendencies in my own life as I've moved away from pure math. It can be tempting to get attached to a particular point on the pure-applied spectrum, criticizing for instance the ridiculously useless bounds of extremal combinatorics on the one hand and the incomprehensibility of the successes of deep learning practitioners on the other. I occasionally hear others talk about how they've decided to do theoretical computer science essentially because it's mathy enough for them to put those skills to use but hints of practicality enough to make other people listen.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But thinking this way would be to fall into the same error as Johnson or even Wallace, simply comparing ourselves to the people around us. No, simply being a reasonable middle is not enough; our work needs to stand on its own, worthwhile in its own right. As I've been struggling with ever since exiting the high school math competition world, I need to stop comparing myself to others and simply look to add value wherever I can, however I can.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">PS Grace and I won "Best Dressed Couple" at the party, and received a pretty cool pair of conjoined 3D-printed Oscar's. We weren't comparing, though. :)</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgANCNC8nrlutkQpOflnpY13jNEb9ESqO50rJDhtYRy2Z40QEX0SSUf9NedKBv0DtpSmKH4h_oihdn5a072o_5xzlSS40onNdJvTYME81taRZn57u-rG9eqmXaUEl_fcdysyA5RRPvME44/s1600/2015-02-22+23.17.13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgANCNC8nrlutkQpOflnpY13jNEb9ESqO50rJDhtYRy2Z40QEX0SSUf9NedKBv0DtpSmKH4h_oihdn5a072o_5xzlSS40onNdJvTYME81taRZn57u-rG9eqmXaUEl_fcdysyA5RRPvME44/s1600/2015-02-22+23.17.13.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-40895947260266361402015-02-16T15:00:00.000-05:002015-05-21T12:55:22.397-04:00Soylent, ~60 meals in<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Growing up, we occasionally would have tacos for dinner. We would carefully assemble each taco with a layer of meat, possibly some beans, then top it with cheese, lettuce and tomato. And then after one bite it would all fall apart on me so I'd end up eating taco salad. Eventually, I ended up just getting a bowl and making the taco salad from the beginning.<br /><br /> I asked my mom, “Why don't we go one step further? Why not just blend all of the ingredients into a smoothie? Then you could take it with you in the car to soccer practice and it wouldn't make as much of a mess? Plus, then maybe we could open up a drive-thru restaurant where other busy people could buy our taco paste!”</span><br />
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<a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />So we tried it. We put all the ingredients in a blender, mixed it up, and out came this greyish-brown paste. Of course, I claimed to like it, but the texture was a bit unexciting and I never clamored for it again. In the end, it just turned into a Cute Story that my mom would tell other people to give people an idea of the kind of kid I was.<br /><br />It shouldn't be too surprising that I became pretty quickly fascinated by Rob Rhinehart's experiment, known as Soylent, when I first heard about it in the summer of 2013. In February of that year, while working at a startup, Rob <a href="http://robrhinehart.com/?p=298">had decided</a> to go on an experimental diet designed to contain exactly the chemicals that the FDA recommends in the perfect proportions, combined from their purest forms. In doing this research, for instance, he found that we generally consume far too little potassium in typical diets, and Soylent is designed to fix those imbalances.<br /><br />Rob promised that if his experiment worked, he would start a crowdfunding campaign to produce Soylent at scale. By the time I signed on in July, it had already blown way past its initial modest goal of $100k, eventually raising $2.1 million in pre-orders like mine.<br /><br />Perfecting the recipe, sourcing everything, and bringing it up to scale in collaboration with a professional co-packing company took a full year. My one-week order finally arrived in late September, seven powder pouches and seven oil vials. One pouch and one vial contain 2000 calories, or a full day's worth for a typical adult male, if that's all you eat. Just add water!<br /><br />To be perfectly honest, my reaction to opening the first powder pouch was very negative. I basically had to hold my nose to try it for the first time, and the grainy texture was a big turn-off. I was tempted to give up, but decided I needed to give it a few more chances first. Indeed, both that negative reaction to the powder and the texture improved to non-issues with time and additional shaking.<br /><br />The other two things I noticed were that it was incredibly bland, and strangely filling. It's basically a dilute smoothie (the thickness can be changed by adding more or less water, but in order to dissolve/suspend all the powder, you really can't make it too thick), and yet just a small glass of it made me feel full. The taste was very muted, but slightly sweet. This was actually a little bit annoying – it made the prospect of Soylent for dinner about as appealing as eating cereal for dinner had been previously.<br /><br />Soylent therefore naturally took over my breakfasts, replacing the sugary cereals of my childhood and the slightly less sugary cereals of my adulthood. With a bit of strawberry syrup stirred in, I even began to look forward to the familiar pattern of sitting down in the mornings with a glass of Soylent and doing my morning devotionals. It tends to make me feel energized for the day in a more sustainable, healthy and even tasty way than breakfast cereals had.<br /><br />Satisfied with the prospect of Soylent for breakfasts, I decided to subscribe to a 7-day subscription every month. My second monthly shipment was of Soylent 1.1, for which they halved the sugar. Part of why I waited this long to write this post is because I wanted to see what changes the new version would bring. But then they came out with Soylent 1.2, which replaces the fish oil source with algae, making Soylent simultaneously vegan and closer to the claimed sourcing of Soylent Green. And they've already begun shipping 1.3, which changes the source of potassium to improve the flavor. I anticipate that it'll keep changing, as they try to make it gluten-free (oat flour is too easily contaminated in the copacker facility).<br /><br />Anyways, I had hoped that the lower sugar in 1.1 would make it easier to eat Soylent for lunch or dinner, but I still haven't figured out the best way to do this yet. Soylent by itself is boring, like eating bread or something. I guess one of the appeals of 90+% Soylent diets is that you get used to it and adjust your expectations, but at the 30-40% level I've been at, it's hard to get excited about a meal of regular Soylent.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To make lunches and dinners more interesting, I've been experimenting with different savory mixes. Here's what I've tried:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1) Peanut butter with a bit of chocolate syrup. It tasted a bit like a Clif Bar, which was pretty good, but got old by the time I finished the meal. Or maybe I just don't like peanut butter that much. Or maybe I blended too much in. Anyways, it's definitely worth trying again.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2) Hummus and vegetables (lettuce and tomato). I initially thought this would be a great idea since I like hummus, but it's actually a little bit of a weird flavor to drink, essentially watered down. I've needed to supplement the meal with croutons (crackers probably work, too) in order for it to feel right, but it's still a meal I don't really look forward to. The lettuce and tomatoes I added (using up leftovers) ended up contributing an unpleasant aftertaste. Still a lot of work to do here.<br /><br />More ideas I'd like to try:</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3) Tomato sauce with Italian seasoning</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">4) Asian spices (oyster sauce or soy sauce?)</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">5) Taco seasoning (coming full circle!)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If/when I try these out or improve my previous flavor attempts, I’ll write a new post about what I've learned from them. For the rest of this post, I'd like to address some common questions I've heard, although they've significantly died down since my Soylent actually arrived.<br /><br />Q: But you’re giving up food! Don’t you love food?<br /><br />A: I do love food – that’s why I’m only giving up some meals. I still get at least four free meals a week, so I’m not giving any of those up. Instead, I’m really only replacing the meals that used to be cereal, Chipotle burritos or cooking alone. Chipotle is expensive ($8/meal to Soylent’s $3), and cooking alone is time-consuming or gives you the same meal all week.<br /><br />At some point, though, I was looking at a string of meals at home, and I didn’t have any good savory Soylent ideas I wanted to try out yet, so I just made some casserole for myself to last a few days. I’ll probably go back to cooking now that I have a girlfriend to cook with.<br /><br />Q: But what about the nutrients we haven’t discovered yet? We don’t know everything!<br /><br />A: No, we don’t, but it’s not like we were sure that Chipotle burritos had those nutrients either. Eating food that tries to cover all of my vitamin and mineral needs is pretty much strictly better than food that simply hopes to, and in any case, I haven’t gone 100% Soylent so it’s not that big a concern.<br /><br />Q: How do you mix it up so it doesn’t stick to the sides and bottom?<br /><br />A: In your first order of Soylent, they give you an airtight pitcher to mix it in. I start with some water, then add all of the powder, then more water and I mix it up. Then I add the oil and shake it extensively again. It’s best cold, but mixed at room temperature, so I have to prepare it ahead of time and store it in my fridge. This usually isn’t too much of a problem.<br /><br />Q: How long does it last?<br /><br />A: The powder and oil packets last basically forever. The mix lasts a few days, definitely safe within 2-3 days after you make it but I noticed a color change after a week once. This does mean that in order to eat a full day’s packet before it goes bad, I need to get one non-breakfast Soylent meal every few days. Or I could mix up less than a full day’s packet, but the partitioning involved has made me too lazy to bother.<br /><br />Q: <a href="http://thecolbertreport.cc.com/videos/2kgoki/rob-rhinehart">Is this stealth veganism? Are you going to start wearing those shoes with toes in them and get white boy dreds and use a crystal rock as a deodorant?</a><br /><br />A: Besides the Colbert link, I've been somewhat fascinated by Rob’s relationship with the foodie craze in San Francisco, where he worked in the startup scene. As <a href="http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2014/05/12/the-end-of-food">this fascinating New Yorker essay</a> delves into, Rob grew up as a creationist, and spent his senior thesis at a small Christian high school trying to prove creationism was right. Instead, it had the opposite effect and he ended up rejecting not just creationism, but his faith in God.<br /><br />“Organic-food nuts remind him of himself as a believer. ‘Everyone’s like, “The natural, organic way is the best.” And it sounded a lot like fundamentalist Christianity,’ he told me,” the article explains. (This may or may not have been an excuse to use a triple quotation.) This similarity deserves a much longer discussion, but I think it explains that while Soylent might seem like it came from the same place as Whole Foods and the paleo diet, it’s actually a reaction against them. On the specific question Colbert posed, Soylent isn’t vegan for the sake of animal suffering, but because vegan diets are energetically efficient.<br /><br />Q: Can I try some?<br /><br /> A: Because of a mistake in shipping and being gone for a month, I now have a rather large stockpile of Soylent in Cambridge. If you’re in the area, I’d love to give you a packet and a vial to mix up (or sell it to you for $10 if you’d prefer). Once I’ve tried out a variety of flavors that actually taste decent, I’m thinking of holding a tasting session, and if I do, I’ll announce it on Facebook.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">[Update 3/23:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As a product in rapid development, Soylent has been changing pretty quickly. This initial review was based on my experience with Soylent 1.0-1.2, but the <a href="http://blog.soylent.me/post/112067551237/soylent-1-4-begins-shipping-today">biggest changes</a> appear to be in Soylent 1.4. One friend who's tried it says it's much better, and even tastes like milk, probably because they incorporated the fats into the powder. Once I get a chance to try it, I'll let you know what I think.]</span></div>
Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-71570460902805904792015-02-15T21:12:00.001-05:002015-02-15T21:12:21.256-05:00Attempting to become a regular blogger<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hello!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In case it isn't obvious, it's been over half a year since I posted anything here. That didn't exactly match my original vision for the blog, and I'm now attempting to revive it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"But wait," you think, "is this just going to be one of those typical second-to-last blog posts promising a certain level of content, before the blog goes dormant forever? The internet is littered with those sorts of blogs!"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">No, that's not how this is going to go. In fact, to prepare for this return, I already have six posts drafted (to varying levels of completion), with a handful of other ideas on the table after those are used up. I'm aiming to spend more of my idle time thinking and writing and less of it on mindless activities.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I estimate that I can sustainably post about once a week, so I'm going to plan to do so every Monday morning from here on out. Come back tomorrow to hear what I think about Soylent, the meal replacement I've been trying out for the last few months!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sam</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">PS While I'm pretty excited and confident that this will happen, if any of you has experience regularly blogging like this (writing on the order of a thousand words a week for a personal blog), I'd appreciate hearing what helped you keep going!</span>Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-62698069734613733582014-07-22T02:19:00.000-04:002014-07-22T02:19:53.350-04:00Weird Al and Things I Fundamentally Enjoy<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This past week, Weird Al came out with his 14th album of his ridiculously long career, <i>Mandatory Fun</i>. In doing so, he released eight music videos from the album in eight days through eight different video distribution services (e.g. Youtube, VEVO, Yahoo! Screen, Funny or Die, and several more I hadn't heard of.) He linked them all on <a href="http://www.weirdal.com/home.htm">his website</a>, and they're pretty good, so check them out! My favorites are Word Crimes, Handy, and Mission Statement, but Tacky and Foil have also grown on me. Inactive doesn't have a music video, but it's also pretty good.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On a different note, I'm looking forward to my family visiting Boston in August. I've started to think about what we'd like to do with which of my friends, like who to go see a Red Sox game or eat dim sum with. It's a somewhat complicated problem to try to pair up all of the different combinations, since I want them to meet all my friends while doing fun Boston things together with them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I also recently got back from a leadership retreat with the Graduate Christian Fellowship. As a small part of the retreat, I got plenty of feedback on how the large groups that I had organized had been. We had found the top 11 "Burning Questions" topics the fellowship was asking and found pastors and professors from a variety of backgrounds to cover those difficult issues.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How are these three things related?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One aspect is that they all have the same fundamental matching problem, which I've found I really enjoy trying to work out by hand. I'm reminded of the most successful small group bible study I led through the Sermon on the Mount, which finished with different people going around and summarizing what we had learned in each of the previous weeks. There's a certain magic I feel around perfectly executing a matching like that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There's also a more important aspect of my family visiting that I seem to fundamentally enjoy: It will bring people together from different aspects of my life. I'm reminded of</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> the Super Bowl party I hosted this past year, where I invited friends I knew from at least three or four different communities I'm a part of. In GCF, there's a tradition of some people hosting massive birthday parties with friends and labmates all together, and while I haven't done that myself yet, I expect I will this coming November.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Weird Al also brings to mind one more thing that I like to do of similar flavor. Most of his parodies both pay tribute to the original song and poke fun at some other aspect of society. In some cases (e.g. <i>The Saga Begins</i>, <i>Ode to a Superhero</i>), he rewrote a classic song (<i>American Pie</i>, <i>Piano Man</i>) to describe the plot of a recent movie (<i>The Phantom Menace</i>, <i>Spider-Man</i>). The combination of the parody and the movie recap make those a couple of my favorite songs of his.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In a sense, parodies like that are a way of repurposing those classic melodies. It's somewhat analogous to the basic idea of many <a href="http://twistedsifter.com/2013/01/50-life-hacks-to-simplify-your-world/">lifehacks</a>: Use one household item to solve another household problem.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Where have I started to repurpose things like this? Well, I've invented a couple new games to play for long car rides:</span></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Price is Right ThisIsWhyImBroke.com: This <a href="http://www.thisiswhyimbroke.com/new/">website</a> posts six new intriguing items each day that you can buy somewhere online. It's where I found the ideas of the Christmas gifts that I bought my family this past year. It can be made into a game by asking people to guess the prices listed for those items, scored Price-Is-Right-style, where you want to be closest but not over the listed price. Protip: Rotate who guesses first between items.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jeopardy TL;DR Wikipedia: This <a href="http://tldrwikipedia.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a> posts a snarky one-sentence description of something, written in the style of a Wikipedia article. For instance: "An <b>umbrella</b> is a canopy designed to protect normal people from the rain and insufferable people from the sun." Like Jeopardy, you can read the description and have people answer, "What is an umbrella?" after you finish reading. Some of these are easy to guess, while others are more clever or obscure. This basically amounts to telling a series of jokes where the punchline is sometimes a bit of a puzzle.</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As with anything, these depend a lot on the crowd, and will last varying lengths of time, limited by how long you all continue to enjoy it. I access both websites via Feedly, which makes it easy to swipe between entries on my phone.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyways, besides reducing the boredom from long road trips and providing an alternative to word games like <a href="http://download.cnet.com/Unmentionables-Taboo-for-your-iPhone/3000-20416_4-75791827.html">Unmentionables</a> (the app version of Taboo), <a href="http://www.quora.com/Word-Games/How-do-you-play-the-word-game-Contact">Contact</a> and <a href="http://h2g2.com/edited_entry/A906644">Convergence</a>, I seem to fundamentally enjoy combining and repurposing sources like these to make something more out of them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Next thing you know, I'll be playing Wheel of Fortune with Weird Al song lyrics...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here's what my to-do list chart looks like now:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The new marker (TP) replaced Quora and is for the <a href="http://threesporn.com/">ThreesPorn blog</a> I've started contributing to.</span></div>
Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-78305895031735649212014-06-23T18:20:00.000-04:002014-06-24T03:07:03.599-04:00Managing Tasks without Deadlines<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This year, I've reached a subtle but important transition point in my academic life. Up until now, I've mainly been taking classes, which usually means that my work came in chunks due at regular intervals, whether they are readings, problem sets, or essays.</span><br />
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This meant that the main way I kept track of all of that was through calendars and to-do lists with deadlines. For instance, I used Google Calendar's tasks heavily, </span><br />
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By contrast, from here on out (at least while I'm in grad school), my academic work consists primarily of open-ended tasks like "investigate this research question." Those sorts of tasks often don't easily admit a characterization into "done" and "not done" or have deadlines. So I needed a new system.</span><br />
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After trying out a couple different ideas, I've come across something I find I really like. Here's the idea: I plot all the various things I have to do on two axes. The first axis is how important or urgent that task is. The second axis is how enjoyable, fun or rewarding it is. Earlier, I posted a cruder version, but here's what that graph currently looks like:</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaKG7q5sQ9fop4dYUg7oY5vBNNxjzExdupQ-OC-kH6yDDs6xhL-oOhYDAwxJ_l0Jxe_BVNsGtjlgCe0bX9K7AxZWl2LZvZgsRriA0Aa2T0TmLWIqSHrfJxor1yE7UOvhGTt-VHDQjkykU/s1600/2014-06-23+16.43.22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaKG7q5sQ9fop4dYUg7oY5vBNNxjzExdupQ-OC-kH6yDDs6xhL-oOhYDAwxJ_l0Jxe_BVNsGtjlgCe0bX9K7AxZWl2LZvZgsRriA0Aa2T0TmLWIqSHrfJxor1yE7UOvhGTt-VHDQjkykU/s1600/2014-06-23+16.43.22.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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</span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At the end of this entry, I'll list what all of those abbreviations mean, but first let me orient you. In the upper left are the tasks that I actively should be doing and which are fun or rewarding. In the upper right are fun tasks that aren't especially important right now. And in the lower left are the most annoying tasks that I just need to do. There's not a lot in the lower right since I tend to ignore those things, but for instance you can see that I recently did my laundry so it's not urgent right now.</span><br />
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There's a ton of information in this diagram so let me go through it. I've color-coded these little <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00FA2ENOM/">magnets</a> by the following categories:</span><br />
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Red = Social. As you can tell, these tend to be the most fun, but not very urgent right now.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Green = Tasks. I should probably clean my apartment sometime relatively soon, and I've got some leftovers right now so cooking isn't a priority, but I enjoy it.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yellow = Faith-related. Okay, softball (SB) is a little bit of a stretch, but it's with my church.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dark Blue = Research. I won't go through all of those different categories, but you can that they tend not to be the most enjoyable for me right now, which is a prayer request.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Light Blue = Misc/Teaching. Three of these ("Grade" and the two labeled "AoPS") are related to teaching for the Art of Problem Solving. You can see that the magnet in the top left is this blog, which is why I'm working on this post right now.</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When I complete a task, or at least make progress on it, I move that magnet to the right. Many magnets slowly make their way leftwards, and I occasionally take a look to see if any should jump. Magnets only move up or down rarely, when I reevaluate and decide that I like them more or less. (Grading in particular has jumped around the most.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How do I decide what to work on? It all depends on my energy level, which is why I keep track of both axes. If there's something that's to the left of and above (nearly) everything else, that's a clear winner and I should just do that. But otherwise, there will be a tradeoff to make.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If I had infinite energy, I should just do whatever is the most important. And when I'm super drained, I need to do whatever is the most rewarding. In between those extremes, I like to imagine a diagonal line slicing from the upwards and to the right, with some slope corresponding to my energy level. Hopefully this isn't too technical, but you can see that after completing this blog entry, the next thing to do will be one of a couple research problems I'm looking at ("GI" or kMC"). Then I'll need to figure out my next hall event ("HC"), do my quiet time ("QT"), or get reimbursed for my last one ("MIT").</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Since this diagram encodes so much of my current state, I think I'm going to just update you all with a picture of my current diagram in future posts.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>Abbreviations</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Red (Social):</span></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">HC = Hall Councilor. Organizing events for people in my hall (5th South) of Sidney-Pacific.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dom = Dominion game group. A group that spontaneously formed in GCF to play Dominion and other games together.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">F+G = Funandgames game group. Organized by a fellow Caltech -> MIT student, Helena Zhang, we play a variety of short board games together rather spontaneously.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tech = catching up with Caltech friends, either in-person or over Gchat</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">UP = Ultimate Pickup, or more generally anything to do with ultimate. I still go whenever I can, but this more corresponds to organizing new ultimate things myself, like the GCF intramural ultimate team in the spring.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dept = socializing in my department</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Green (Tasks):</span></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Clean = clean my apartment</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Cook = cook food for myself and often others</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">E-mail = sending and replying to e-mails</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Laundry = laundry, which I do every 2-3 weeks</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shop = shopping, either at a grocery store, Target, or Amazon</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">$ = money-related things like taxes</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yellow (Faith):</span></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">CG = my community group at City on a Hill church</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">SB = softball with City on a Hill</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">BS = book studies I'm leading this summer in GCF</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">LG = planning large groups for GCF for the fall</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">QT = my own personal quiet time</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">VF = Veritas Forum planning for next year</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dark Blue (Research):</span></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">kMC = k-means clustering, a project with a couple CS grad students</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">MLRG = machine learning reading group, reading through some lecture notes by MIT prof Ankur Moitra with a few CS grad students</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">GI = graph isomorphism problem, with a math postdoc</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">PC = preconditioning, suggested by my advisor, Jon Kelner</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">NO = noisy or, suggested by Ankur Moitra</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Phi_n = revising my paper (accepted with revisions) from five years ago</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Light Blue (Misc):</span></div>
</div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">TCR = this blog :)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">AoPS Teach = think of better ways to teach for Art of Problem Solving</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">AoPS Prep = prepare for future classes</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Grade = grade written problems (1/week/student) for AoPS</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">MIT = various things to do with MIT like reimbursement or housing</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Quora = answer interesting questions on Quora</span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'll post updates if/when I change any of these out.</span></div>
</div>
Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-87846630976322758502014-06-14T03:14:00.000-04:002014-06-24T03:08:48.282-04:00The Apologetic Value of Modern Day Miracles<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Why are some very smart people Christian, and some aren't? This is an important question, because we can't both be right. In this post, I share my new approach to rationalist Christian apologetics, and why I think there are still important questions that need to be answered here.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Why Should We Agree?</span></h2>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">First, why do we expect there to be an answer? Fortunately, I don't even need to invoke <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aumann%27s_agreement_theorem">Aumann's agreement theorem</a> to try to convince you that over sufficiently basic questions about the way the world works, honest investigators of truth should eventually converge on the same answers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We can just see that happening throughout history. Major disagreements of the past, like the nature of disease or the size of the universe, eventually were decided as people made more and more observations that confirmed one of the possibilities over another.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What do we disagree about?</span></h2>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let me be clear about the disagreement here. I know plenty of people of other religions, but the two most prominent options that most frequently present themselves as evidence-based seem to be Christianity and naturalism.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Notice that I list Christianity rather than generic theism, or worse, deism. I see deism as simply naturalism with the added complexity of God existing, just to start things off. It would make all the same predictions as naturalism, so it seems like a very easy application of Occam's razor to prefer naturalism to deism. In other words, if God exists but doesn't interact with us in any way, how would we ever know he exists? </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Fortunately, Christianity makes stronger claims that do actually lead to predictions.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Historical Claims</span></h2>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Without a doubt, most of the claims of Christianity are historical in nature. All Christians agree that Jesus was a man who lived and did at least many of the things recorded in the Bible. All but the most liberal agree that this included what we know as "miracles," which I'll define in a moment, but which include as a climax his death by crucifixion and subsequent resurrection.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How do such historical claims yield predictions? Well, there are a couple ways. First, we should expect to see a rapidly growing group of Jesus' followers as word spread. We should expect them to record these events for posterity, because something like that doesn't happen every day. And we should expect them not to fear punishment or even death, as followers of the one who overcame it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I would argue that this is about what we do see when we look in the historical record, and that any alternative natural explanations make the evidence we see rather unlikely to have occurred. That historical evidence has been the basis of my faith since I first turned a skeptical eye to it back in early high school.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Beyond the First Century</span></h2>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">However, I'd like to argue that we need to look beyond the history to the present day. There are a couple reasons to do so.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The first is that our faith is almost as bad as deism if it doesn't say anything about the present day. Do we believe the Bible contains truth that affects us today? That's a prediction. Do we believe God answers prayer? That's a prediction.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Within Christian circles, there tend to be two beliefs about the nature of miracles today. The cessationist camp says that there are no miracles today, only in the past to establish Jesus as the Son of God. While I don't see any support for this in the Bible, there's a bigger concern I have. If God no longer interacts with us today in any way, there isn't much point to being a Christian. And if he does interact, then there's something we can measure. I therefore consider myself in the continuationist camp, which says that there are still miracles today.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The other reason to be interested in present-day miracles, though, is because of the almost limitless supply of observations they offer to settle the debate between Christianity and naturalism. Christians by no means expect miracles every day, but we can analyze those moments when we have expected them more than a naturalist would, and see whether they actually come true in those cases.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What is a "miracle?"</span></h2>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's about time that I define the word "miracle." This might not be very emotionally satisfying, but I think this is something that we have to treat as a continuous phenomenon rather than a binary outcome. In fact, I'm just going to restate what I've said before: A miracle is something that an honest Christian would find far more likely than an honest naturalist.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Why don't I define it in terms of "violating natural law"? Well, that isn't well-defined: Which natural laws? It also excludes most healing miracles, since they often don't violate any "laws" that anyone's bothered to call as such. No, what people often share is the surprise that the doctors express, and that surprise is exactly what unlikelihood of their expectations expresses.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So that's my thesis, that <b>we need to take modern-day miracles seriously if we're going to be the best apologists we can be</b>. And talking with some atheists, I think this is what we'd need to do to convince them. They simply shrug when I mention the historical evidence. "Sure, that might have happened, but that was 2000 years ago, and there's a lot that's been lost in the dust of time." Another friend put it this way: "Sure, your evidence is much stronger than anything else we know from that time. But suppose there was a claim of a resurrection from 10000 years ago, and the best evidence available was a pot depicting a figure raising their hands. For that time, that evidence would be remarkable, but we wouldn't let it affect our lives today."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Concerns and Objections</span></h2>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now I'll take just as much time to address some of the concerns people have expressed when I've shared this thesis with them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>1) "No, I don't think God would show up if you went looking for him."</b> I have a couple responses to that. The first is that that would have worked out swell for Elijah <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Kings+18%3A20-40&version=ESV">at Mount Carmel</a>. There are quite a few parallels to that passage, in fact. But secondly, is that really the God you believe in? See my earlier comments about cessationism.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>2) "Okay, but if you went around trying to order God around, he wouldn't fall for that."</b> Again, that would have worked well for Gideon <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Judges+6%3A36-40&version=ESV">laying out his fleeces</a>. But really, that was a very special circumstance where Gideon had already gotten a message from God, and wanted to confirm it. No, I'm not proposing that we tell God to answer us by flipping coins to see what he says.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Instead, what I'm proposing is more like reportage than experimentation. What are the accounts of events that can be best explained from the Christian perspective? In this way, it could be more analogous to the gospels -- reports of Jesus' actions, including the miracles attesting to his divinity.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>3) "It sounds like this will be susceptible to confirmation bias -- people will remember the times when the miraculous occurs and forget those times when it doesn't."</b> Yes, that's definitely something to take into account. Hey, I never said that this is an easy problem! At the same time, Christians seem to make claims that, if true, would far outweigh that sort of effect.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>4) "I'm sure someone has tried to do this before."</b> Yes! And that's what gives me courage. One of the books that started me on this road was <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Miracles-Journalist-Looks-Modern-Experiences/dp/B00A18IK4O"><i>Miracles</i> (2012) by Tim Stafford</a>. I'd highly recommend it as an introduction to what sorts of miracles seem to happen today. Stafford takes a reporter's approach and just asks questions of everyone involved. He then takes a bit of the microphone for himself to answer some of the most common questions. While I don't agree with all of his conclusions (including his de-emphasis of miracles themselves, saying everything is God's work), I think he does an excellent job of compiling fascinating stories that would surprise most naturalists I know.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But I think this is just the tip of the iceberg, the beginning of what can and, in my opinion, should be, a full-blown investigation. There are so many stories out there, and someone needs to look at a large number of them to see what we can learn.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In fact, I want to turn a usual criticism of Christians by naturalists on its head. For many people, the word "miracle" is curiosity-stopper. Once we attribute the action to God, the case is closed and we stop asking questions. Done poorly, this often leads to a "God of the gaps" model where anything that we haven't currently explained by other means gets attributed to God, and as we understand more about the world, our understanding of God diminishes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yet to call the examples Stafford brings up, at least, a "God of the gaps" framework would be a straw man. In his first and foremost example, a man is instantly healed from intense pain in his legs that had him wheelchair-bound for years when he attends a prayer gathering at a church and specifically asks for prayer over his condition. That's not just something we can't explain; it's exactly the sort of moment Christians expect God would most frequently act. There's a prediction there, if an uncertain one, and I want to better understand how to make better such predictions.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In other words, we should answer that criticism by not stopping with the word "miracle." Personally, that attribution leads me not only to praise God for the healing, but also to ask further questions, like these:</span><br />
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Does miraculous healing only happen in some locations and not in others?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What role does faith play in healing? Whose faith?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What types of conditions does God heal, and what doesn't he?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Beyond healing, what other ways do we see miracles?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Do these miracles occur for members and around practices of other religions?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Can we use this as a gauge for orthodoxy, as the Jerusalem Council did in <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+15%3A1-21&version=ESV">Acts 15</a>?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What can we learn about God's priorities from his choices of how to act?</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's a very hard problem, but the last few of these could be known as "empirical theology." For instance, we could actually verify that God loves Christians if we noticed that the vast majority of the miracles were related towards helping us. (Of course, we'd have to tease this out of a wide variety of competing alternatives, but if we were careful and had enough data, we could.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>5) "Miracles don't happen today because they were only important in establishing the authority of Jesus and the apostles in the first century."</b> This is essentially the argument that cessationism gives. Sometimes they'll add the caveat that miracles might occur out on the mission field, like in Africa, because the gospel might be spreading to those people for the first time. But not in the US, because we already have enough knowledge of God.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The problem with this is that it gravely misunderstands our current situation in the US today. Does anyone doubt God's existence today, in America? Of course we do; that's why I'm writing this. Do we have any questions about the boundaries of our faith? All the time, from Mormons to Catholics to nominals to Rob Bell. I don't mean to sound an alarm so much as remind us that Christianity is still commonly contested here as it was in the 1st Century, albeit mostly by different means.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>6) "Where would you get funding?"</b> Ahh, the classic question posed to every academic. Fortunately, the <a href="http://www.templeton.org/">Templeton Foundation</a> sounds like it would be perfect for this sort of endeavor. They've already funded a <a href="http://www.templeton.org/pdfs/press_releases/060407STEP_paper.pdf">large-scale study</a> in Boston on distant, nearly-anonymous (Christian) prayer, which turned out to have no effect. Honestly, this doesn't really surprise me, since that sort of prayer (lacking any personal connection, even indirectly) doesn't occur in the Bible either, to my recollection. But that also seems like just the tip of the iceberg to me. What about other forms of prayer? What about other types of healing? Of course, the problems get tougher when you do that (and this study already cost $2M), but there's definitely more to know. And if this works, it would save people a lot of time trying to figure out which religion to follow.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>7) "Okay, but how would you do it cheaply?"</b> One idea I have is to get things going would be to sample from American Christians (using something like SurveyMonkey's Audience feature) and ask them detailed questions about any experiences they'd characterize as miraculous, similar to Tim Stafford's reportage approach. As a difference, though, I'd particularly emphasize words of knowledge and prophecy over healing, since the alternative naturalistic theories are more well-understood, and therefore, the surprise much stronger.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In a brief conversation on his blog, I asked Stafford why he hadn't included many instances of either of these, and he responded that atheists didn't tend to find them compelling, since they could be more easily fabricated after the fact. To be fair, this is the same argument used against biblical predictions. But with careful reportage, at least in some cases, we should be able to distinguish facts from lies, or at least find the alternative very unlikely. Did they write their predictions down, or tell anyone else? How unlikely was that piece of information they received in the first place?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This topic has been on my mind for at least a year now, but this is the first time I've written it out fully like this, so I might come back later and add in more. Thanks to everyone who's read it all the way through! Please contribute your own thoughts and comments. :)</span></div>
Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-24799265098091948122014-06-12T17:17:00.000-04:002015-07-06T03:33:42.880-04:00Dreaming<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The last month or so has been pretty relaxing. First, I visited home for my sister's graduation and Mother's Day, and then I went to Caltech for Ditch Day and hung out there for another week after that. Since then, I've remained pretty relaxed, and allowed myself to sleep in quite a bit. As a result, I've started dreaming more.</span><br />
<div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<a name='more'></a></div><div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Well, you never know how much you actually dream, but I guess what I've noticed is twofold: First, I wake up remembering my dream more frequently and vividly, and secondly, I seem to have a little more consciousness these days while I'm dreaming. Some dreams have even stuck around for hours or even a couple days in my memory, which usually doesn't happen.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm not really in control, though, because my brain seems to find ways to explain what's going on that seem surprising to me while I'm dreaming. For instance, in the first dream, I was at home in Colorado, and noticed that there were cats and dogs in our house that weren't quite our pets. One of them even looked like Smidgen, our first cat, who was older than me and died while I was in high school! Eventually, though, we realized this and it all clicked when I looked out the front door, where herds of these pets had escaped from our neighbor's house. I started trying to help them regather all of the cats, dogs, and birds, and keep any more from coming into our house, and that's about when the dream ended.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I guess I find this interesting from the perspective of how my brain comes up with its dreams. In the dream, my brain seems to have put those herds of animals outside our door as an explanation for what I had already seen. But at the same time, I remember being surprised to see it, which means that some other part of my brain was experiencing the phenomena that the first part was cooking up as explanations. It would have been especially intriguing if our neighbors in real life had actually kept a lot of pets, in which case this would have been more than just one step of logic away, but I don't know of any records of that.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Besides sleeping in, I think the other contributing factor to how much I dream is that I have two beds. Well, I have a bed and a futon that I usually keep as a bed (rather than a couch), complete with a comforter and pillow. If I wake up in the night and can't fall immediately back asleep, I'll often switch beds to more easily fall back asleep. This can lead to me having one dream that I remember in one bed and another in the other bed.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For instance, after dreaming of the hoards of pets coming into our house last night, I had another vivid dream involving getting on an airplane. Only this time, instead of sitting in our regular seats, I was among a group of people given permission to sit in the cargo hold, which mostly had beds rather than seats. I was surprised at the laxness they exhibited, especially when trying to account for which people had gone down there, they just counted us and let us all in.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyways, I hope this post has been more than just me recounting a couple dreams I had last night. How vividly do you remember your dreams, half a day later? Does your brain ever surprise you with some connection, or does everything seem to be written as you're going along?</span></div><h2><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What's Going On</span></h2><div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wow, it's been seven weeks since I last wrote a blog entry. I honestly don't have a ton to say about those weeks, besides that my vacation was the best one I've had so far. I don't anticipate wanting any expensive resorts any time soon; I'd rather just travel to see friends and family like that.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Some of that time went to writing other things. Since my last post, I've also written two of my top three Quora answers of all time: <a href="http://www.quora.com/Threes-game/What-are-some-tips-for-getting-a-high-score-in-Threes/answer/Sam-Elder">A strategy guide to <i>Threes!</i></a> and a <a href="http://www.quora.com/Tips-and-Hacks-for-Everyday-Life/What-can-I-learn-right-now-in-just-10-minutes-that-could-be-useful-for-the-rest-of-my-life/answer/Sam-Elder">motley compilation of various lifehacks I've discovered</a>. Check them out!</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As for prayer requests, it's been an uphill battle to get into a regular research schedule, or even for that matter to have anything going in research to get excited about. In math, finding the right problem to work on is often the trickiest step. At some point, I'll write about my current efforts and difficulties in that area. For now, here's a chart I've started keeping next to my desk:</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuwv1z2BBPzXRkJKl4EqjT3BiKUSo4GckainzyiKpstbEX5cxxauIvihxYjVPcBVJd3Qi862e1CK2Hj2AGtKEZsIDpzd0BEmYBaz6HvxMkdoSlOMs3S3aLptp1M9vFH2A3kFeeCj7F2oQ/s1600/2014-06-12+15.42.15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuwv1z2BBPzXRkJKl4EqjT3BiKUSo4GckainzyiKpstbEX5cxxauIvihxYjVPcBVJd3Qi862e1CK2Hj2AGtKEZsIDpzd0BEmYBaz6HvxMkdoSlOMs3S3aLptp1M9vFH2A3kFeeCj7F2oQ/s1600/2014-06-12+15.42.15.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The markers read, from top to bottom, Social, Food, Tasks/E-mails, Teaching/Grading, and Work (i.e. research). Unfortunately, there's nothing currently in the upper left quadrant, which is where I want to be. In terms of this graph, you can pray that in particular my work moves upwards. In the meantime, I've been devoting plenty of time to social and food (and exercise, which isn't one of the markers yet), which is why they aren't as urgent right now.</span></div>Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-10879255941764857352014-04-19T23:29:00.000-04:002015-04-03T17:22:38.168-04:00Good Friday and Christian Music<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yesterday was Good Friday. For the last several years, it's been the Christian holiday that I've most consistently emotionally connected with. Easter is a close second, but in this post I'd like to discuss a more general topic that I think explains why I've connected with Good Friday.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When I first started attending my church, <a href="http://coahchurch.org/">City on a Hill</a> in Brookline, I loved everything about the church, but surprisingly, it was the music that stood out the most. For a long time, I wasn't really sure why. I knew that they sung a different mix of songs than I was used to, and somehow I loved them, but it wasn't until a sermon by Fletcher Lang six weeks ago that I realized why.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The sermon was on the Transfiguration (<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark+9%3A2-13&version=ESV">Mark 9:2-13</a>), which Fletcher described as a prototypical 'mountaintop experience.' He went on:</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Many of us have experienced these 'spiritual highs.' Those times on the mountain, though, are few and far between. Most of the Christian life isn't a walk to the mountain but a walk to the cross.</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That shapes the way we sing on Sunday mornings. We don't always sing songs that are peppy and cheery. We don't always just sing the top ten Contemporary Christian Music songs, and some people complain about that. They say, 'Why don't we sing all those songs from the radio that are all positive and encouraging?' And we'll sing some of those, but we also think it's important here that <b>we sing songs that express the full range of human emotion</b>.</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We don't just sing songs that are happy and joyful, because when we come here, not everyone is happy and joyful, and we need songs that can express the full range of human emotion. We need our songs to reflect our Psalms, and some are really sad and really hard, and that's why we sing songs that aren't always the peppy joyful ones. We come so that we can worship God where we're at, and he can bring us to where he is.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(If you want to listen to the full sermon, go to our </span><a href="http://www.coahchurch.org/2014-2/" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">sermon archive</a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> and find the sermon titled "Jesus the King: Transfiguration". This part starts at 32:53.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That explanation totally clicked. I had been keeping a playlist of songs that I had only ever heard at City on a Hill, and these were among them:</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7O7LQpQaoc"><i>Satisfied in You (Psalm 42)</i></a> by The Sing Team</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7vyiI9vC2w"><i>Lead Us Back</i></a> by Sojourn</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwnNSOlLOro"><i>From the Depths of Woe</i></a> by Zac Hicks and Coral Ridge Worship</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you listen to them, I think you can tell that the affect of those songs definitely feels... like a song I could enthusiastically sing when I'm not feeling super positive and upbeat. <i>Satisfied in You</i> is the most obvious in this direction. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">By no means am I always down and depressed, but I'm also not nearly as happy-go-lucky as some of my Christian friends. Yes, gasp, my heart does not immediately resound when I think of Christ's love for me. But whatever I'm feeling, I can bring it to God, and that's the point.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Why was this a new realization for me? Why would City on a Hill be the first place I've experienced songs like this? I think Fletcher's explanation makes a lot of sense. Christian radio has jumped onto the "<a href="http://www.klove.com/">positive and encouraging</a>" to the point where that's pretty much all the music that Christians know well. Emotive Christian music (a term I made up, meaning music that expresses emotion in the <i>way</i> it's sung, not just in the words themselves, so not hymns) is still only a few decades old, so it's not surprising that the first movers in that area fixed on a certain emotional mood, and most others followed suit. Bands write songs and churches play them in their worship services that fit that mold.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Without a healthy balance, negative emotions can feel unwelcome at church and in Christian community. We can tend to get the idea that we need to be feeling the right emotions before we can go to Jesus in prayer. But Jesus' message is completely the opposite. In the <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+15%3A11-32&version=ESV">parable of the Prodigal Son</a>, Jesus gives us the prototype: We can go back to the Father with nothing to show for our squandered gifts, and he will come out and embrace us before we even get home.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And it's for the same reason that I've emotionally connected with Good Friday, when we reflect on Jesus' road to the cross. Of course, the name is deliberately ironic, as we understand that Jesus had to die, in our place for our sins. But just reflecting on that necessity, on the deepness of our sins, leads us all to a somber place, whatever we call the holiday.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This Good Friday, we met at the same elementary school that we meet at on Sunday mornings on Friday evening. The lights were dimmer than usual, and it was dark outside. In between the songs (which included <i>Satisfied in You</i>), we reflected on both our own sins and our own sorrows. And that's also important; the suffering we feel in this life is not just because something's wrong with us, and it's not just because there's something wrong the rest of the world. Both are at fault.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Again, I don't love Good Friday because I'm just melancholy and morose all the time. Even if you don't interact with me all that much, the frequency of explanation points and emoticons in my e-mails should indicate otherwise. But I do connect much better with tragedy than comedy, and Good Friday is definitely a tragedy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So let's all commemorate the holiday by reflecting on the negative things in life. Whether you're a Christian or not, you can think of the things you've done wrong (your sins) and the wrongs that have been done to you (your sorrows). Then release all of those, holding no grudges or self-contempt, laying it at the feet of the cross if you're a Christian.</span>Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-42721471919665431392014-04-12T23:32:00.000-04:002014-04-19T23:59:55.283-04:00Games and Addiction<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As I wrote in my "I'm Back" update, I'm going to fill in what happened in the previous year steadily in smaller chunks, rather than all at once. I'll go in approximately reverse chronological order, meaning I'll start with what's happened most recently.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Prior to these last two weeks of living intentionally, the previous three weeks of my life were characterized by one thing: Games. I'd like to take a step back and look at this in the context of my life and previous approaches to games before describing what I learned about myself during that three-week stretch.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Why I Gave Up Gaming</span></h2>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In high school, I was a <i>Civilization</i> addict. I played several iterations of Sid Meier's game, from being introduced to the original at a neighborhood friend's house to a knock-off called <i>Civilization: Call to Power</i>, to <i>Civilization III</i> and its expansions through a couple expansions of <i>Civilization IV</i>. Of course, I also played other computer games, but <i>Civ</i> was the game that I'd say I got most fully addicted to.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Upon going to college, however, I decided to give up computer games like <i>Civilization</i>. Why? Because I had noticed that I would sometimes play games (or, in <i>Civ</i>, one game) for a full day, say, on a weekend or even vacation in Cancun. At the end of the day, I started to notice a trend where I'd come away with a sort of empty feeling. Part of it was guilt at having lost the whole day "unproductively" and part of it was the feeling of frustration I'd have when I hadn't actually accomplished much of anything in the game itself.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And yet, I couldn't just play a less addicting game, because that would just be worse. The only point of playing a game like that is to have fun, and so I'd play the game that's the most fun, and then waste my day and come away with this empty feeling. So I decided to quit.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">By the way, I noticed similar effects for eating sugary cereal. I'd eat it and enjoy it at the moment, but over the medium term, I didn't like the way the sugar highs and lows made me feel. So I decided to stop eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch and my other favorite sugary cereals (yes, even Smart Start).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In this case, however, I was able to find tasty cereals that aren't as sweet, and today I keep a range of sugar levels from Crispix to Special K Red Berries depending on how I'm feeling in the morning. Of course, these sorts of asocial meals will all be replaced by <a href="https://campaign.soylent.me/soylent-free-your-body">Soylent</a> when it finally arrives in a month or so, so it's not a big deal. (There's a longer story there if you haven't heard me talk about Soylent, but I'll wait to post until I've tried the real thing.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Neither of these were or are hard and fast rules, although I would occasionally pretend like the gaming one was for the sake of avoiding getting dragged into Team Fortress 2 or another game others were playing around me at Caltech. If they pressed, I'd give this explanation.</span><br />
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wait, what about Dominion?</span></h2>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">During college, however, I made one major exception to the no-gaming rule: I racked up a lot of time playing over 1000 games of an online implementation of Dominion known as <i>Isotropic</i>. I actually even played and got addicted to an earlier version on <i>BrettSpielWelt</i> that had little more than the base set. If I'm honest with myself, I was just as addicted to online Dominion as I had been to <i>Civilization</i>, if not more. Fortunately, Isotropic shut down and was replaced by the more visually appealing but much less addicting (at least, to me) <a href="http://playdominion.com/">official online implementation</a> by Goko, which I only occasionally play.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The biggest redeemable difference was that many of my friends played on Isotropic as well, so it served as an additional way to bond us closer together. I even organized an online tournament between us that got a few rounds before it was clear that Zach was going to win. But the same social benefits would have applied to TF2, which I refused on the grounds that I didn't want to get addicted, not the better explanation that I don't particularly enjoy first person shooters compared to strategy games.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On that note, around this time, my view towards board games began to shift. I mentioned this in a Quora post recently, but essentially, I stopped seeing friends as means to playing games and started seeing games as a means to hanging out with friends. This changed the emphasis I had on playing a game versus just talking, and made me much more open to party games as well as strategy games.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Also, unlike computer games, board games often have natural bounds around when you can play them with others, which make them harder to get addicted to in the sense that I had been addicted to <i>Civ</i>.</span><br />
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mobile Gaming?</span></h2>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm getting closer to the events of the last month now, so keep reading. When I got my iPhone in my junior year at Caltech, I had been warned that games would be distracting, and didn't buy any for myself. My brother got me <i>Angry Birds Seasons</i> for Christmas one year, which I treated as an extreme option if ever I was really bored. It was enjoyable, but certainly not addicting for me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Later, I downloaded a version of perhaps my first game addiction, the Windows 95 game Chip's Challenge, which had been adapted as <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/chucks-challenge/id409315637?mt=8"><i>Chuck's Challenge</i></a>. I was a little more addicted to this game, but fortunately quickly beat all of the levels that had been created, often playing in bed as a means to (or, more likely, instead of) falling asleep. Getting slightly better times on those levels became my new last resort, where Angry Birds had been.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then, a little over a month ago, Zach introduced me to this game <i><a href="http://asherv.com/threes/">Threes!</a></i>. A simple yet beautiful iPhone game, <i>Threes!</i> has taken off <a href="http://asherv.com/threes/threemails/">beyond the wildest dreams</a> of its creators. It's the first iPhone game I've played that's truly addicting.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Even more people have heard of, and played, a knockoff of Threes known as <i>2048</i>. With some slightly different mechanics but more importantly the port to the browser and an open software engine, <i>2048</i> spread so far that it eventually was the subject of <a href="http://xkcd.com/1344/">1</a><a href="http://xkcd.com/1350/">.25</a> xkcd comics. I eventually (somewhat reluctantly) switched over to playing <i>2048</i> for a while, and my <i>Threes!</i> skills quickly transferred. I then became motivated to over-beat the game beyond what any of my Facebook friends had done. I succeeded, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10203587795797903&set=a.2313118469839.2139856.1305744537&type=1&stream_ref=10">making an 8192</a> a couple times. I think if I tried hard and was super careful, I could make a 16384, but these games literally take hours, where one mistake could undo all of that progress.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>2048</i> was a cheap clone, never designed to be a good game, and I wouldn't say I was addicted to it. No, instead, I was addicted to the feeling of pride I got from showing up all of my friends who had played 2048. I began to realize that this was my real, and at some point, only, motivation to playing. So I quit and went back to <i>Threes!</i>, but not after bragging all over Facebook. I think some people might get some enjoyment out of seeing how far I could go, but in retrospect, my motivations for playing 2048 were prideful through and through.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Once I had decided that I'd be living intentionally after Spring Break was over, I went all out. The last Saturday of Spring Break, I literally did nothing but, sleep, play <i>Threes!</i>, and eat two quesadillas from Anna's Tacqueria in the Student Center. I needed a break, and decided to take my first week of living intentionally (last week) completely off from playing <i>Threes!</i>, which I did.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Still, I held out some hope that <i>Threes!</i> could occupy a similar space in my life to <i>Angry Birds</i> and <i>Chuck's Challenge</i>, something I could fill time with. I had tried out multitasking with everything, learning that it was possible to walk familiar routes or eat a sandwich while playing, but not to walk along a new path or eat cereal.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But when that week ran out and I allowed myself to play <i>Threes!</i> again, I found it all too tempting to fill other time with the game as well. Particularly if I was doing well, it would be very satisfying to play out the game to completion, and either way, all too easy to start a new one. This wasn't working, and after two days of it wreaking havoc on my so-called plans, I decided to give up for a longer period of time. Fortunately, I reached a natural endpoint when I beat my high score (now 241,389, good for 29th worldwide when I got it) late Tuesday night, and this let me put the game down satisfied.</span><br />
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Road Ahead</span></h2>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What lessons have I learned from this? I've learned that I do need to set a boundary of not playing any more addictive games while I'm not on some kind of planned break. I've also learned that self-instituted sharp cutoffs <i>do</i> seem to work in my life, which also more broadly applies to my current attempt to live intentionally.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But yet, every day is a new opportunity for me to fall back into my previous patterns. Living intentionally is a matter of continuing to fight that back, and try to establish good habits that will make it easier to fight in the future.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Many of you reading this are Christians, so I'll try to include a portion of most of these personal posts listing prayer requests for me. Here's what I'm praying related to this topic, phrased as I would pray:</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Give me the strength to continue living intentionally, to actually live out the plans that I have.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Guard me against the twin idolatries of libertinism and legalism. Keep me from feeling either shame or glee when I fail if those feelings are not helpful in righting my trajectory.</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here are some possible things I might post next weekend. Let me know if you have a preference!</span><br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What I was doing that led me to feel like I needed a break (hint: it has to do with my current Facebook profile picture).</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What I'm intentionally spending my time on (yes, I'm "doing research" now!).</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The schedule I've been keeping myself to these last couple weeks.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How Dominion has taken over another of my friend groups recently, and built additional community there.</span></li>
</ol>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Haha, this blog is turning into a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure! :) If and when I do post these things, I'll edit to provide appropriate linkage.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And in case you're wondering, yes, this post is shorter than my previous updates, but will probably be a bit longer than my future ones. There was a lot of background that I wanted to cover, and this post does summarize and reflect on what I did for most of the month of March. But I don't promise that I'll never write posts this long again.</span>Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6003329482995414412.post-6805623611452489262014-04-12T21:39:00.000-04:002014-04-12T23:33:01.196-04:00I'm Back!<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hello everyone!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Whew! It's been a year since I've done any written reflection like this. If you didn't already receive them, I used to write rather long reflection documents and e-mail them out to my family and close friends. Now, after talking with some of you about this, I've decided to move to a blog format. Feel free to subscribe!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Why now? Well, the last two weeks, I've made a serious effort to live intentionally, keeping a schedule of my time, and now that i's clear that that's here to stay, reflecting is something I decided I'd like to have in that routine, probably at the rate of about one post every week or two.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now, there's a year of my life that many of you only have snippets of, and I've sketched some thoughts down about that time that I'll slowly add back in when it feels appropriate.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Why here? I created this blog over a year ago with the hopes of populating it with deep theological reflection on the intersection of Christianity and rationalism. Well, I'll still hopefully have some deep reflections here, but I'll also (and possibly primarily) share personal stories and realizations from my life.</span>Sam Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15984244253644485575noreply@blogger.com3